Are you afraid of marriage?

Are you afraid of marriage?

The fear of marriage to many young ones,

Is a real fear;

“What makes you fear?

What’s the matter with marriage?” Asked the old man!

“Afraid of what my marriage will turn out to be?” I responded.

“That is the worry of many like you,” said the old man.

Yet, often, things turn out for the best.

Many, of course, do crash;

But why should that be your lot?

Think of the best;

Hope for the best marriage;

Expect the best marriage;

Do the best you can to have the best marriage.

Isn’t that all you can do?

Don’t wait for your spouse;

Do your own.

Worry never solves a problem;

Neither will fear do.

The two rather create, in marriage, problems untold.

Rest assured

The best will smile to you

When it comes to marriage;

And if already married,

Know the best is

On its way.”

6 thoughts on “Are you afraid of marriage?

  1. I love this poem it really made me think!

    I think I want to get married one day when I am older but my fear is that it will fail (or crash as the poem says). I have seen so many members of my family go through the pain of divorce. It’s heartbreaking!

    Marriage looks so promising when you witness the couple making their commitment official in front of friends and family, they look ready to take on the world together and I love that – its just a shame a lot of the time they forget that they were meant to fight the world not fight one another.

    • I thank you for your comment. I will say something that can help you all your life in your marriage. Just as you learn to write, cook etc, learn how to succeed in marriage. There are tools. Many marriages fail because the couples take each other for granted and expect the marriage just to succeed. If you are not equipped with the tools to make your marriage succeed, it will fail woefully. These tools are yours to get from any Marriage Encounter Week End. Get to know more about Marriage Encounter and when the time comes attend it. If you are not comfortable with it for any reason, seek out another marriage course which will be effective. I know Marriage Encounter works very well. You may advise family and friends who are having problems with their marriages to benefit from this. Kindly let me know if it helps someone through your recommendation. Again, thank you.

  2. Most singles say that they want very much to get married. At the same time, they may harbor secret fears which prevent them from doing so. By identifying what it is that you fear, you may be able to change the beliefs which are sabotaging the decision-making process:

    “I’M SCARED THAT I’LL BE SEEN AS INFERIOR.” Children who are constantly criticized, either by parents, older siblings, teachers or peers, learn to believe, “Only those who are brilliant, ebullient and beautiful are deserving of love and honor. Since I’m not, I am unlovable. No one normal would want me.” Though they dream of meeting someone who will love them as they are, they also think, “Anyone who could love someone as defective as me would have to be an idiot, and why would I want such a person?” People who develop a belief in their inferiority, even if they seem totally normal and successful on the outside, are terrified that they won’t be able to keep up the pretence after marriage and that eventually their partner will find out how incompetent they are and will then abandon them. It seems far safer to be alone and keep others from discovering the awful truth.

    • Wao! A profound reflection on the subject. Thank you. I hope many people read your thoughts and draw help from them. You are right. Many people’s filters stand on the way of success in their marriages. I have found the solution to be to get equipped on tools to make the marriage work. I found them in Marriage Encounter. Others have found them somewhere else. The bottom line is to make sure one has the right tools for a successful marriage. Without them it will be hard to succeed. Two excellent people dying to succeed as a couple may just not succeed because they lack the right tools which do not come on their own. One has to go for them.

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