Sex before marriage: Is it right or wrong?

Sex before marriage is an issue on which opinion is divided. I have hardly seen parents who like to see their son or daughter indulging in sex before marriage.On the other hand, most young people see nothing wrong in it; and lots of them are actively engaged in it.

What is your position? Is sex before marriage a good or a bad thing? Do parents have reason to worry if their children indulge in sex before marriage? Are there risks involved? What are they?

34 thoughts on “Sex before marriage: Is it right or wrong?

  1. Hmmm…sex before marriage. First its a personal choice, to be or not to be. Sex is something beautiful to be shared between two people who love each other; it is a joining of two bodies and souls in intimacy; it is a giving of oneself to another; it is a commitment to another. It is also meant to help produce off springs or babies if you like. This therefore means that the decision to have sex with anyone should not be taken lightly. Basically my stand point on this matter is a no… to sex before marriage! Why? Basically in obedience to the word of /commandment of God: “Thou shall not defile the marriage bed”, paraphrasing it. I did succeed at waiting till i was married before having sex not that i didn’t have attractions but i made a choice to wait. Today i’m having a swell time in my marriage and not having to wonder about which sexual encounter was better than the other if you know what i mean. And then i can share it all with my kids. Now this may look old fashioned or out of line but i have come to understand that the instruction not to commit fornication or adultery is simply for the individuals good not God’s. Checkout all the heartbreaks, unwanted babies/pregnancies, sexually transmitted disease, divorces, school drop outs, family fights and many more…it can all be traced to sex somewhere along the line. This is not to say that sex is what would eventually make a marriage to work. However the point of it all is to protect us from the pains and consequences of our bad choices. Remember sex is a commitment to someone you love and since marriage is seen to be a serious commitment what better place to share this beautiful gift.

  2. Marriage is a holy union and sex is the glue that bonds lovers together. God’s good plan is for sexual relations within marriage when you can celebrate your exclusive love and be blessed with children. Saving sex for marriage is a healthy, happy, and “safer” choice…remember that nothing great is easy!

  3. I can’t say much on this subject. I had sex before marriage (forced) and my daughter’s did and one got pregnant. She still isn’t married and had another child. I don’t see that it makes that much difference in this day and age.

  4. Dear B.Mutai I would be assuming that the “yoke of religion” you are referring to are the commands of God, eh? Foremost, the instructions of God through His Word isn’t for sinners, those who have not received the Salvation of God through His Son, Christ Jesus are no more able to bear the commands of God than a dead toad. God is Spirit (Life) and everything He instructs His children in pertaineth unto Life, not death.

    There is Purpose in every command of The Lord, if God instructs chastity, there is a reason for it that affects our eternal souls; it is not for the purpose of robbing teens or adults from sexual pleasure (He was the One who gave to mankind and animals the enjoyment of love making), but for the Purpose of preventing Believers from taking on every spirit of unrighteousness from every person they would mate with along the road, especially if that person was not a Believer.

    You see my dear B., every person you lay down with, you get up with every demon that vex their soul! And you wonder what’s wrong with you, why are you all of a sudden acting funny, different, and vile? You see silly goose (lol) when you mate with someone, you enter into a spiritual covenant with them that has either a blessing or curse attached to it!

    This is a reason why when you break up with that person and move on to the next…you are carrying baggage from that previous covenant that you are unable to shake! Now, the question is: “How many demonic connections do you have from sexual encounters? A youngster should be more concerned with how God feels about it. For the most part, you only have to be subjected to the rules of your parents til age 18 or 21; but disobeying God has eternal consequences!

    Adults and young people, if you do not know God, you’re still breathing, see to it. If you do know God, obey His Word, obedience comes with reward and diminishes heartaches.

  5. Yes I see what parents are concerned about. Issue is that many a time guy leaves the girl after sex or they have a break up. And many girls either end up having abortion or raise kids being single mother. Emotionally , physically its quite challenging when both partners do not take responsibility equally . that is the major concern of parents.

  6. If one is born again, a follower of Christ and live according to the word of God, we would be most concerned about pleasing the Lord with our behavior and our choices. We live in a fallen world that walks around the truth and so therefore dismiss the consideration of using self control and wisdom. When we sin, I am thankful that the Holy Spirit will gently convict us to get us back on track. Thank God for his mercy and grace and when we ask for forgiveness He cleans us up…and forgives us. Galatians 5:16 I say then walk in the spirit and you shall not fulfill the lust of the flesh..

  7. Warning: Controversial Thoughts

    I believe sex should be valued as the celebration of two people BEFORE and AFTER sex.

    Most people always miss this, but there’s always a high chance that if the person doesn’t choose wisely on who the partner will be, the person will be miserable for the rest of his or her life and then what is sex then?

    I want to try to make this simple for anyone reading to understand and I can write a 1,000 word article about it, but basically sex is immensely important in the relationship (most people don’t want to believe this). So important that it literally makes or breaks a relationship. Just remember that I never said sex is everything in a relationship (but it is a huge part).

    Like any resource (money, weapons, alcohol), sex is not good or bad. The person doing it is either good or bad. Sex itself is the physical manifestation of love. Two mature partners naturally do it because attraction is something raw and primal that we all share. I said all this because that explains why mature couples opt to do it before marriage.

    About very young people doing it: this may sound crazy, but as long as they’re careful, they’re just created exciting memories. Imagine never doing anything with a girl or guy you like in High School and never even kissed him or her. Regret is always worse. If I were young and in High School again, knowing what I know, I’d talk to every girl I like and celebrate each other’s lives. But I never did and that’s regret. However, I’ve learned to talk to girls after High School and it’s never too late to get what I want.

    The problem with sex is that some people put so much meaning into it, while others put no meaning, as if it’s in the same tier as deciding to sleep. I know how valuable sex is, but I don’t think it should be so valuable that people should be mad at someone for doing it before marriage, especially if it’s strictly for fun. Everyone has their own choices, and if I remember right, if it’s not killing you, why should it affect you?

    In conclusion, sex is the most beautiful thing in the world, and is a critical part of the relationship. It is true that it is abused and the meaning seemed to have dropped in this generation. But the people who abuse it are not you and you are not them, and if you believe sex is so valuable that you’re risk saving it for someone who might be a huge headache to you in marriage, then so be it.

    The key factor to this whole topic is not whether sex should be done before marriage, but if you choose the right partner that you’d be happy to have sex with for years to come.

  8. From a a Biblical point of view, I think it is not correct. Like it or not, a marriage is more is more dignifying if couples have not know n each other sexually. But it is tough any way and needs the special grace of God.

      • Hello,Ngobesing,
        I have a strong opinion when it comes to sex outside of marriage, but probably not for most of the reasons I have heard. As one who has lived a single life, I will broaden this to singlehood:
        My understanding of Scripture is, sex isn’t for singles. That goes for young people who have not yet married, middle-aged and older singles.
        A few years ago, I was a bit shocked and intrigued to learn that the age group with the greatest increase in the incidents of STD’s is the over 55 crowd. These people are not worried about pregnacy, so they allow themselves a bit more freedom.
        number of them

        So why not?

        Let’s say you have a savings account with $500,000,000.00 in it. It’s all yours. You can share it with anybody you choose. The deal is, once you share with them, their name is on your account.

        That’s how it is with sex. We are not simply sharing our bodies, we are giving and receiving from our whole being. We are sharing the treasure that God created: Ourselves. To me, that means there’s a need for taking good care of both people: I want the depth of commitment and relationship that comes with the covenant of marriage. Nothing less than that will do.

        I think this also has to do with honor: By saving something as intimate as sex for marriage, I honor God, myself, my spouse and society. I build something strong and valuable; I live according to God’s Word.

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