Before marriage

What you take into consideration before you decide to marry someone is very important. It can stop divorce taking place later.

It is sad to see young people who love themselves and get married in grand style who divorce a few years later.

We can stop this from happening because it affects many people negatively. I do not say people should not divorce when they find the marriage is causing more harm than good, but many of the divorces would not take place if proper caution is taken before the marriage is contracted.

One reason there are many divorces is young people do not take time to know who they are tying the nuptial knot with. This happens for many reasons. Many young people are not aware of the importance of knowing the other person well before marriage. Secondly, it is hard to dig into the other person. The human being has the tendency to hide their true self.

There is a ‘you’ you do not like others to know, right? You have weaknesses you hide from others; you do not want them to know you have such weaknesses. You have a hidden self. It is like wearing a mask. You mask yourself and people see a you that is not the complete you.  They see a you that is different from you. They see a false or fake you.

We do this because we fear rejection. We feAr that if the true us is known, the other person or persons will not like us and we will lose their friendship. That is why when a boy sees a girl he likes, he often presents only the ‘he’ that he likes her to see. On her part, she presents only the’she’ that she wants him to see. They hide the real ‘he’ and ‘she’ from each other. Hence, thy end up marrying someone they do not know.

This hidden self starts to surface progressively in the marriage until the two people cannot bear their discovery.  They see how incompatible they are and their marriage hits the rocks.

It is true that there is much more to marriage than knowing each other before, but this is very important. Know the person you want to marry; and let that person know you.



10 thoughts on “Before marriage

  1. Its a good topic. I believe people sometimes also think that the marriage will solve all their problems, will make them happy, they will forget loneliness and etc. So in all this trying to know other person, you have to not to forget that even after marriage you have some individual needs. And it is getting very difficult, if your husband or wife is stopping you from doing something you care.

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