I tremble to publish this

I found, in an old newspaper, an letter titled “A woman’s advice to women” by Alicia Farray. It stunned me. I tremble to publish it. Alicia writes:

Dear fellow women,
I got stung by a serpent called a man and I cannot sit by and see other women suffer the same fate. Let me say it straight. Men are devils in human skin. Don’t ask me to qualify this statement for I will not. The one I thought was an angel is worse than Lucifer. I hate him.
Take time to believe those hypocrites called men who come telling you they will die for you. You cannot be sure they love you. Many of them only need you to satisfy their beastly sexual drive, They are out to use you and dump you.
Move with your eyes open. See beyond the surface. Hear beyond the flowery words. They are the tools of shameless, unscrupulous, greedy men. Their dirty strategy is to flatter you and get you cheap.
95% of men are greedy, mean and shameless liars not to be trusted. I say shame to them.
Be both a dove and a serpent when you treat with men.
Love them with all your heart but be ready to sting if need be; and drive your venom right to their hearts.
Let no man make you his sex machine to be exploited to satisfy his base instincts.
If a man gives you one punch, give him three: one for his head; one for his heart; one for his mind. Never compromise with a man; and never say you forgive a man.
If he cheats on you with one woman, cheat on him with three, four men.
Assert yourself; and don’t be a cry baby. If you make yourself a cry baby, you are finished. Let fire meet with fire. Fire for fire is my motto. Make it yours and no man will take you for a ride.

I finally took the bold decision to publish this. I do not know how men will take it and how many women buy the ideas here. This letters shows the bitterness in the hearts of some women about the way men have treated them. I know you may ask but what of men? Some men have found it hard too. But why?

Are you for Alicia or for the men Alicia is virtually sentencing to death.

68 thoughts on “I tremble to publish this

  1. She sounds like me when I was younger and was exposed for the first time with harsh realities of life including meeting the wrong guy, pain from a broken heart, and betrayal. I hope she is in a better mindset now.

  2. I hope this is just a stage in her life she’s going through. The emotion is still at peak and writing it is her way to acknowledge that she’s been badly hurt. I disagree that all men are cruel as I grow up with a good man. But I won’t push for an argument as I cannot judge without knowing the whole story. Maybe it’s a pain one cannot fathom.

  3. I feel sorry for Alicia in that the relationship(s) in her life have left her bitter and angry. I know that there are men out there that are the direct opposite of what she has experienced. I hope that she is able to move past her bitterness and find a man that will treat her the way everyone deserves to be treated, with kindness and love.

  4. Well Romanus this is a pretty harsh letter that Alicia wrote! It’s clear that she wrote it out of anger and deep disappointment of events happened in her life! We don’t know and we cannot judge her because we don’t know all the sufferings that she has been through and put up with maybe has been pure horror and she is a lucky survivor! There are men that aren’t good as same women but cannot be generalized as there are great men and great women. It is very sad to read something like this and feel the deeply hate and pain in Alicia words. But HATE is not the solution nor SUBMISSION to violent behaviors.

  5. This is an example of emotional writing – I find it very hard to take such written work seriously because emotional writing doesn’t even attempt to be balanced, and tries to sway its audience through empathy without reason.
    It also speaks of said person’s personality, while I wouldn’t dismiss her emotional hurt or history, I would dismiss her argument out of hand.

    On a side note. I would like to nominate you for the 3 day quote challenge. Up for it?

  6. I understand her sentiment but the person writing this does not appear to have much forgiveness or compassion. I have seen people like here that seem to wait for someone to do something to them just so they can punish them in some way. That is not a kind heart.

  7. I can honestly testify to the heartbreaking experience Alicia imust be referring to, However, to generalize this venom is unfair. We must all agree some men have been victimized by women as well. Although, quite often men are very skilled in proving that they are indeed the offsprings of the prince of darkness.

  8. What can I say. I was married to a wonderful woman for 42 years and then she died. I remarried and have been with my new wife ten years. She now has alzheimers and I will love her until one of us dies. Most men I know can cite similar experiences with their wives. On the other hand I know too many younger men who do not see marriage as a responsibility. They use women like a score card. I agree that the man’s sexual drive is strong, but it can be controlled.

  9. As I read this post, I saw the words coming to life in my mind. I would like to believe this is not true, but I see that most of it is. Surely not all men are serpents and I am too young to even know what it is to be left by a man or to deeply fall in love with one. But I know what it is like to be betrayed by one. We see countless movies and word in the media about cheating men, and the multi-million dollar celebrity divorces between the couples nobody thought would separate. Men that see things like this have the idea that life is better and more fun with younger women, traveling, leaving behind their responsibilities. Of course this is true…but it is not morally right. My parents got divorced three years ago and I have not seen or heard from my father for this time. With my experiences with an absent father, I would like to say that I lost complete trust in the man I looked up to and loved most as I was growing up. He was a positive influence, spiritual, and wise as he taught me about life, but he is a lier. He does not support or communicate with me or my mother. How can I have complete trust for all men after this burn in my heart?

    • I hope I did not sound hopeless and pessimistic. I have bright hopes for the future and I believe I will, one day, find the man I will live share the rest of my life with. However, many men are just leaving their beautiful, kind women for more active, young girls to better their lives. This is a selfish trait that is entering the minds of many more men that ever felt this way…

      • A man who allows the youthfulness in a young girl to carry him away from his dear wife should not forget that other more youthful girls are lined up behind that one. Shall he keep moving from youthful girl to youthful girl? If you go into the market and want to buy everything that is nice, imagine what will happen! You have to get some and close your eyes to the others. Or admire them but discipline yourself. It’s not everything that’s nice in our mouth that we must eat. Your input has enhanced the conversation. Thank you!.

    • I know what you have gone, and are still going through. What your dad did is what I fight against. Many marriages break up not because the spouses are bad but because thy are not equipped with the right tools to sail through in marriage. Marriage does not succeed on its own. It has to be made to succeed by both partners; which means they need to know what to do. Unfortunately, many couples do not know. Some are not even willing to learn and so you see two very good people unable to live like husband and wife. If my child wants to marry I put them down and talk to them about the importance of attending good marriage courses ti enhances their chances. Take note that husband and wife come from different backgrounds; and coping cannot be easy. You and your mother may be angry with your father meanwhile the poor man was helpless in terms of being ignorant of the damage he was causing. I really think we have to create opportunities for couples to attend good marriage courses so they can enjoy marriage.

  10. I don’t think that we can generalize our opinion about any human being based on their gender, caste, color or any other available category. Our history is evident that both men and women have played their parts in exhibiting the dark side of their characters. Yes, women have suffered in many ways — and some of them still are. However, men are changing their behavior and thinking about women. Without the support of men, who are not ashamed to protest for women’s rights, women would have had a hard time establishing themselves as the important gender in the society. As far as being deceitful goes, we all have that quality. Some of us act on it, others don’t. Each one of us needs to keep our eyes open, even when in love. Deceitful love leaves many traces behind, but our blindness causes us to ignore the evidence, advice of our friends and family among other things.

    Bitterness for one particular category of humans has caused many dreadful and worthless massacres in the past, and I do not think that such blame game can help anyone. In fact, it only destroys our own personality. Of course, that’s my opinion, and everybody may not agree with it.

    • I do agree with you. You say many things that I buy. The blame game doesn’t help anyone. Thanks for your contribution to the conversation. I believe many who read your comment will become more enlightened.

  11. Wow, that was harsh. But maybe she wrote it when she was angry and didn’t have time to think. Personally I don’t think anyone should fight fire with fire as she suggested and not all men are devils.

    • You are very right. Many men are indeed very sweet. And I like when you say may be she was angry. Anger can make one do things to later regret. Can you recall a time when you were very angry and did something that you later regretted?

      • Surely, surely. I became so angry and shoot words that were loaded with bullets…but after a day or two when I really looked back at the situation I felt so terrible and ashamed. Anyhow, thanks be to God that anger resides in me no more. No use getting angry…it damages us and also, I believe that anger is a sign of weakness. Is it?

        • It is said that when we fly in the plane of anger we usually crash land. And that anger is only one letter short of danger. Yet even God became angry many times as we read in the bible. Anger is normal but it has to be controlled. Inability to control it can be considered a weakness.

  12. In the words of Yoda – “Fear is the path to the dark side. Fear leads to anger. Anger leads to hate. Hate leads to suffering.” I think Alicia is very angry and I wonder if she would stick by those words now after having time to reflect.

  13. Are there men who are that terrible? For sure. And there are also women who are that terrible too. However I like to think that although we can all be selfish at times, *most* people are capable of kindness, compassion and caring.

  14. Alicia has made poor decisions when it comes to men. Right before I was to wed, I received similar advice from a bitter cousin. She warned me not to marry my now husband, because she believed he would cheat and lie. I ignored her advice knowing that she did not one one thing about him….10 years later we are still happily married. Alcia’s expereiences and feelings are valid, but I also believe that she is attracted to, as well as attracting, the wrong kind of people in her life.

  15. I would encourage all women to watch: “War Room” because as she puts it, “In order to stand up and fight the enemy, you need to get on your knees and pray.”

    The enemy is not man. The enemy is Satan. Pray and Pray and continue to pray. May you seek God’s words of how to fight the real enemy.

  16. I feel great sorrow for Alicia’s outlook on life that has been so tainted by men she has chosen to be with. I don’t know if this is cultural in nature from the area where she lives or if she has just chosen poorly. As a true man, I am appalled by her treatment from other men. But I know for a fact that this is a two way street. Men have been ill treated by women as well.

  17. well, she must have been through a lot, but I think it´s a bit harsh to say that all men are bad, there is good and bad men and women, you shouldn´t just generellize that. And getting bitter like that doesn´t help you to get happy. In the long run I guess you will have to learn to forgive and move on, otherwise you will end up alone and unhappy and miss out on a good life.

  18. This all comes from a place of hurt. Someone hurt her badly and apparently so badly that she is ready to throw in the towel until………………. she happens upon that right man who will treat her with the love and kindness that we all deserve. Some men think of women the same as Alicia thinks of men.There’s a song that says “the angel in your arms this morning is gonna be the devil in someone else’s arms tonight”….
    Alicia is apparently playing that song over and over again.

  19. I feel her. It seems it was me sending those words to all men who are unworthy enough to be loved. I believed Alicia has been through a lot, and I respect her emotions. But who knows, one day, she’ll get over it, find a real angel and heal. 🙂

  20. Appears that Alicia has been through a lot in her life. This view seems to have originated her own disgust and bad experiences. People need to test and take them appropriately in their own contexts.

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