Unconditional love – a possibility or fiction?

How possible and easy is it to love unconditionally? We often hear about unconditional love; and are asked to love unconditionally in marriage. Is this possible? Is it realistic? Can anyone truly love unconditionally?

Can we love someone who is hurting us or who is working against our interest?

You can see why I ask whether unconditional love is a possibility or fiction. Was Jesus Christ’s love for humanity unconditional? Does God love us unconditionally? When we sin or commit crimes does God still love us?

How possible and realistic is it to love someone unconditionally? In the context of marriage or boy/girlfriend relationship would you love unconditionally?

Why would you or would you not encourage unconditional love?

These are worthwhile questions to ponder on; and sharing our views on them can be enlightening. Let me end this post with this poem which should further tickle your mind on the subject:

How do you expect me to love you?

How do you expect me to love you

When you are hurting me?
How do you expect me to love you

If you are working against my interest?
How do you expect me to love you

If what you are doing to me is killing me?
How do you expect me to love you

If you have destroyed my reason for joy?

How do you expect me to love a neighbor

Who is making life hard for me?

I want to love,

But it’s hard to love unconditionally.

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10 thoughts on “Unconditional love – a possibility or fiction?

  1. I think unconditional love exists if both people respect the relationship and each other. This involves trust and commitment. If you do not trust your partner, then it is hard to respect them. If you do not respect a person it is hard to commit to them. If a relationship lacks trust, commitment and respect, is there really love, and most likely not unconditional love. Someone referred to an abusive relationship, but those are not maintained out of love, those are maintained out of fear and manipulation. There is a huge difference between unconditional love given freely because it is deserved and “love” given out of fear for ones one well being.

  2. I think it’s possible to love unconditionally, but it’s not possible to have a relationship without conditions.

    If we love and respect ourselves, then there are things we need out of a relationship. Understanding our own boundaries and enforcing them is important to our own happiness – and what are boundaries if not conditions?

    Take the simplest one – fidelity. Most people expect that their partner will be true to them, and for many an affair is a condition for ending a relationship. I would think that more important than affairs is simple respect. If someone is not treating you with kindness and respect, why would you possibly stay with them? Those are all conditions needed for a working relationship.

    You may still love the person, but love is not enough for a relationship.

    • Thanks Zombie. I learned that the woman wants her husband to love her and the man wants his wife to respect him. If they each do this, happiness will be guaranteed. I wonder how you see this.

  3. I believe that it is possible to unconditionally love someone.
    For example, people who stay in abusive relationships unconditionally love but under a more normal situation? I’ve heard stories of murderers being forgiven by family, and priests giving willingly to thieves, but that’s it.
    Unconditional love is respected exactly because it’s irrational. If it wasn’t, I think no one would care.

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