Children, parents and dreams

Many parents have incredible dreams for their children. This is not a bad thing. What is worrisome is the fact that their dreams are often at variance with those of the children concerned and may not even be what is best for the children.

Take for instance, some parents want their children to go early to school, shine there, graduate with distinction and get into the world of work and shine there as well. This is lofty; but sometimes, they push the children too much and end up in a disaster.

Talking about parents’ dreams for their children being far off the children’s own dreams, I know some parents who want one of their children to become a Medical Doctor but the child doesn’t want anything to do with medical practice.

There are parents who want their child to soar high in academics and become a University don; but the child wants to go into business instead.

You may know parents who want their child to get a public service job but the child prefers a private sector job.

A good question is: what should parents do when they find their dreams for their children are not their children’s dreams for themselves?

Parents have a responsibility to help and guide their children to succeed in life but do not have to impose on them which life path to take. They may advice and encourage the children to take a path that they, the parents, consider good for them. In other words, they help their children understand the options available with their pros and cons but after a deep look within the child must be the one to decide which way to go.

Without doubt, there are parents who will say they imposed the path to follow on their child and the result was positive. Truly, some do that and succeed but they may be looking at success only in terms of financial success. That is not the only criterion for judging success. You can be getting a lot of money from a job which is like a burden to you; which gives you no job satisfaction and your life may tend to be empty.

The long and short of it is parents advise your children which life path or dreams to follow; don’t impose on them.


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