I recalled with a vividness I found unsettling, my feeling when I’d seen the damage that I’d done to her. It was a primal feeling in which I still felt gripped. Mingling with all these confusions I was acutely unaware of my very own alienness. The facts were mounting, the truth was before me and I felt its crushing weight as it was a mountain on my shoulders. I was face to face with the fact that I had pushed her away.

I turned slowly, reluctantly, and as I did so, I stared in the mirror, that was hanging on those dull walls. In that mirror, I looked into my implacable eyes and knew there was something dark about the way, I chose to manipulate, those I’d drawn close to me. Filled with guilt and a sense of being lost in time, a feeling of tension and anticipation was frowning me. I had made my choice, one that I wasn’t very proud of. But as it may, now I was lying side by side with them. And as the memories kept walking farther away from me, all those moments that I was grateful for the presence of them in my life. They just kept fading, in the end I was sifting through the unknown land, the endless night, companionless.


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