I have been juggling between so many things lately I completely ignored a background I prepared for an art work. i wanted to draw an abstract portrait on it in soft pastels and charcoal (my favourite medium)
Here it is..
I must have watched 10 12 tutorials but lacked inspiration. I didn’t know what i want from this piece, so it was lying in a corner, forgotten.
Yesterday I had another anxiety attack and i was hyper like a wiper, shivering shaking pacing and circling…its was crazy situation which lasted till today afternoon.
You know what makes us most restless?? An unaccomplished task.
So today i gave up on being my lazy self and pulled out the sketchpad and pastels to calm my restive soul.
I started marking random slashes on the paper with pastels. I had nothing in my mind. Just one think; i will drain my anxiety through colours.
This is the Theory i chose to treat myself.
I kept myself engaged in the process enjoying it immensely.
Every stroke of pastels soothing me mentally and emotionally.
I stopped stressing over where is it going to lead. What should be the result.
I let the instinct lead the process, the cathartic journey.
And here is the end result…
When i finished i was laughing … thank God nobody saw me, it was a bit…umm…creepy…
I felt its ugly. Yes. Beautiful ugly!
It’s definitely not what i wanted. Not an abstract portrait.
It’s more of a video capturing a small journey of a roaring storm settling down ending in a relaxing drizzle.
Only i know this journey..but its fine.
As long as things work for you its fine!
We set all our focus to the destiny, the result, rewards..
And then when we win, we end up feeling this huge void within ourselves that makes us question our victory.
Sometimes the path leading to it is way more magnificent.
And sometimes this is all we have..
So why not enjoy every passing frame of it??
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not an actual stoner...