I haven’t been able to write for a few days now. It’s not that I don’t have ideas, I do, but they don’t flow smoothly. Many times I start writing on one thing and then something just pops into my mind and distracts me. I then save my previous draft to start writing the main ideas of my new thought and before I know it I have already written 500 words.
Sometimes, no let me rephrase, every time I take a shower, ideas come to my mind. I try to rush the shower so that I can write it down but sometimes I forget the chain of thought or I no longer want to write it. Sometimes I think that I should record myself when I have such thoughts so that I can write it down later but that’s the thing with me. I am lazy. Here, I said it. Lazy to write a prerecorded version of my ideas and I hate listening to my voice.
Here it goes again. While writing this post I got an idea for a next post and now I want to start researching that topic so that I can start writing about it. And, my willingness to write this post, whatever it was about is gone.
(A bus ride, several shorter posts that I started but didn’t finish and one cup of coffee later)
Well, I recently read an article about having a content calendar. Please go read it(Click on me to go read it). It’s wonderful. The funny thing is that I had recently started to create my content calendar and I found the discovery of this post a delight and a clarity that I needed, to organise my posts and stay organised and not lose my sanity (I have the need for discipline and structure in my life; Without this, I am lost)
However, after a week of trying this content calendar idea, I felt demotivated. It was as if planning the ideas and content was so fulfilling that I did not feel the need to write it anymore. Just thinking about and writing down the main points made me feel so accomplished that I stopped writing. After the first week of writing, I didn’t write for days. Whatever I had posted online were just scheduled articles (which in this case meant that the content calendar works when the need and want to write fades a little; at least I will have some content for my readers).
I don’t know what that says about me. I often try to reflect upon whatever happens to me, whatever I feel, whatever I think and my progress or evolution over time.
Am I satisfied with what I am doing? Am I happy doing what I am doing? What is it that I need to change in my routine? Am I slacking?
For instance, the past few days, there was a sense of demotivation and sadness when I couldn’t get the inspiration to write. I felt a burnout creeping upon me. Have I been overdoing it? Have I been overworking and being too ambitious? After all, I am during the holidays. Have I been putting too much pressure on myself? Am I being too rigid about my schedule? Should I even have a schedule for my posts?
After watching a few movies, eating takeouts, enjoying with friends, watching millions of YouTube videos, isolating myself from people and not thinking about anything else, I finally returned to reality this morning.
I have wasted a lot of time. I have relaxed and chilled. I have had time to be on my own and be sad and stressed. Now, it’s time for some action.
You have billions of ideas a day, why is this scaring you. Why and what are you stressed about?
I know now why I am stressed. I am on holidays, and there is a lot of time but in my head, it’s not enough for all I want to do. I want to spend time on my blog, write poems and stories, learn new things, read other people’s work, interact with them, spend time with my friends, start working out, eat healthily and I want to do these all at the same time. Of course, on top of that, I want to plan it all, minute by minute.
However, life is uncertain. We cannot plan things so vigorously. Moreover, doing so many things at once is impossible for a little human like me.
I am sometimes a little too ambitious. As soon as I feel good about something, I feel that I have to challenge myself to things that may be out of my comfort zone and that might be difficult to achieve it yet.
Sometimes, you have to take a giant leap to reach a goal, but sometimes, we should take small steps. I am trying to do that. Take it one at a time, but when you have an overthinking and hyperactive mind (Especially at night, when I have to sleep so that I can wake up early in the morning because I have to work; I am working in my university’s library every morning) like me, it can be difficult to calm it down.
SO this week (starting today, Thursday 1st February) I will write three goals for each day and at the end of the day I will reflect on what I did and whether I accomplished my goals and I will keep you guys updated every Sunday! Let’s see if I can do this!
Here is a snippet!
Some people like their own voices, the one that, their brain makes them hear, that is the richer, more baritone noise that a person’s brain creates by sending a message to the vocal chords to move. Indeed, the voice that you hear from you vocal chords is more euphonious, richer, and lower than what it is really. This is because what you hear come from a different channel than when others hear you.
Hello, my name is Deepika and I am from Mauritius, a tiny island in the middle of the Indian Ocean. I am a senior at Xi'an Jiaotong Liverpool University (XJTLU), in China. I am a proud Rotaractor. This blog covers my life as a young adult in a new country through poems, articles, and fictional stories.