I haven’t had much time to write due to my time sucking classes and work priorities and overall exhaustion from it all. But hey, 12 more weeks til school ends!
Most days I feel like I am running on empty. It’s been harder to see friends when my whole week is spent trying to get through two 15 hour days and then one day in between to try to catch my breath. Weekends are spent doing assignments and catching up on work that needs to get done. Most of the time I don’t think my co-workers have any idea how much work I do on the weekends, but my supervisor does and that is what matters. It needs to get done and when you are stuck in meetings all week , it is nearly impossible to get a moment to get work done. But as soon as the weather gets warmer and school is over (beginning of May) I plan on taking lots of my saved up vacation time and just relaxing and reconnecting with friends and enjoying life.
As for my love life it has taken a major turn of events. New/old guy came into my life, then left it briefly, then back in full force, then a little thinking time apart and now we are back and better than ever. He asked me if I would move in with him early summer when my lease is up and after many deep and thought provoking conversations I have decided that I am ready to take that next step. I’m ready, he is ready and we are ready. Everything with us has shifted for the better. It has been a rollercoaster of mostly ups and some very tough downs but I truly feel that I am where I am meant to be and he feels the same. We have known each other since August 2016 and honestly we spend so much time at each others places it makes sense to just take this step. It will make my commute easier since he lives closer to my job and most of all it gives us time together too which many days is so hard to do because of our work and school commitments.
I have never met anyone like him, sometimes it is like looking into a mirror. We are scarily alike, work in the same profession (a major plus), like so many of the same things and have differences that don’t break us. We want to travel together. In all the time I have spent with him and it has been a lot, we never lack for conversation, laughter and well, you know – major attraction. And yes, I have lived with a man before (more than one but not at the same time 🙂 ) so this isn’t my first time at this rodeo.
Sometimes the past haunts you so bad you need time to purge it to move forward. There is no excuse for the heartbreak he put me through, but there is understanding and honestly if I didn’t give it a chance I know I would be missing out on what may be one of the greatest relationships of my life. I don’t expect anyone to understand my choices when it comes to him. I don’t write about every conversation we have had or every experience, nor do I share my entire life with him so choosing this path with him again was not a spur of the moment decision or something I am doing out of fear of loneliness. I am very well aware of the hurt but judgement is easy on the outside looking in, I understand that – but I am in the one in and it is where I want to be. I have always wanted him, it just took him some time to figure out where he knew he wanted to be. And as hard as that was I am happy he took that time – he is ready.
Things feel different, better. I am happy, I am content and I am at peace. And I hope I haven’t jinxed it by talking about it, I am very superstitious that way.
Now if only work and school would calm down a little.