Crazy English Definitions !!

Found some crazy definitions in English Language…. Enjoy Reading !!

School:    A place where Papa pays and Son plays.

Life Insurance:    A contract that keeps you poor all your life so that you can die Rich.

Nurse:   A person who wakes you up so as to give you sleeping pills.

Marriage:  It’s an agreement in which a man loses his bachelor degree and a woman gains her masters.

Tears:   The hydraulic force by which masculine willpower is defeated by feminine waterpower.

Lecture:   An art of transferring information from the notes of the Lecturer to the notes of the students without passing through ‘the minds of either’

Conference:   The confusion of one person multiplied by the number of people present.

Conference Room:   A place where everybody talks, nobody listens and everybody disagrees later on.

Compromise:    The art of dividing a cake in such a way that everybody believes he got the biggest piece.

Dictionary:    A place where success comes before work.

Father:     A banker provided by nature.

Criminal:     A guy no different from the rest….except that he got caught.

Boss:     Someone who is early when you are late and late when you are early.

Politician:    One who shakes your hand before elections and your Confidence after.

Doctor:   A person who kills your ills by pills, and later kills you by bills.

Classic:    Books, which people praise, but do not read.

Smile:    A curve that can set a lot of things straight.

Office:    A place where you can relax after your strenuous home life.

Yawn:    The only time some married men ever get to open their mouth.

Etc.:     A sign to make others believe that you know more than you actually do.

Committee:   Individuals who can do nothing individually and sit to decide that nothing can be done together.

Experience:    The name people give to their mistakes.

Atom Bomb:   An invention made to end all inventions.

Philosopher:     A fool who torments himself during his life-time, to be known as wise after death

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