To All Present and Future Literary Pundits, Naysayers, Nitpickers and Academic Assholes — In Advance:

By now I must have demonstrated
Far more well than thoroughly
That I can have a verse created
Practically instantly
On any subject you’ve debated
And then put to me

Also that, having once decided
Pattern rhyme and meter of
If I wish I may stick by it
Closer than you to your love
So sometimes if I supply it
One syllable, two, above

The count in later pieces, know
I use the license poets may
Utilize for sweeter flow
Sybillant and tender sway
As forth a lyric line may go —
Before you walk habit’ual way

Lift words from context, one or two
A “hackneyed” rhyme to criticize
Or bring th’ entire form in view
“Derivative” categorize
(In some vague way reminding you
Of some prior poets’ devise),

Before at simple themes like
Harmony and love you lift your nose
As would some grimy streetside tyke
Lookng with scorn on those
Who holler if his little bike
Contacts their tender toes

And cares not whether effort they
Put out into the world might see
In some not very distant day
The necessary objects he
Himself requires continue play,
Supplies which his survival be

Before you do that — I want you
To write me just a little rhyme
How many lines? Let’s keep it to
A simple eight to save your time
And I’ll allow luxury, too:
A subject which you think sublime

Here’s pen and paper. Ready? Start!
I’ll work beside for company…
It’s after all so easy — Art —
Downright elementary!
I’ll even do my further part
By leaving you completely free

Both ‘hackneyed’ and ‘derivative’
Rhymes and forms to utilize…
I’m done! But will five minutes give
You further, if in hope that lies
You might bring two quatrains to live
In posterity’s eyes…?

No? Not eight lines? Not six? Not four?
Not even two of which you may be proud?
Perhaps from now less scorn you’ll pour,
Crass criticism in less loud,
While we take pause a reading for
Of my well loved works, aloud…?

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