Are you and your spouse team mates or rivals?

I wrote “Husband and wife, sit up”, because of the way many couples behave. They behave more or less like rivals or people in opposing camps instead of two team mates.

I have seen husband and wife quarrel at home and out of home; in private and in public. As commonly said, they wash their dirty linen in public.

This is intriguing to me because a husband and wife are supposed to be the closest persons to each other. They share many things together – the same bedroom, the same bed, the same living room, eat on the same dining table, and much more. In short, they know each other best and their marriage is supposed to be a joy as I say in Make your marriage a joy

How then can one explain that instead of acting like team mates that they really are, they tend to act rather like rivals; and in some cases enemies.

You will see someone behaving to people outside like an angel but fiercely aggressive to their spouse. I see this all the time. These are curious questions about marriage.

It looks to me like the problem is we are not equipped enough with good, workable tools to be husband and wife. It is important to learn how to deal with the opposite sex. There are tips that can help.

One thing that is important to know is we don’t force marriage. Forcing someone to marry you can lead to the two of you becoming competitors, rivals, and even enemies under the same roof.

You did not marry to be fighting. The home is not a battle ground. But there is fair fighting. This is to fight by doing what is necessary for the success of your marriage. Brenda Bennet has some good advice here:

“There are so many stresses in the world today. Why would you want to fight with your mate, you married this person to be a loving companion, to support you in good times and bad. Turn to prayer and pray the Lord will change both of you and your ways to love each other and to fight fairly with each other. If you have not seen the movie “War Room” I highly recommend it. Very powerful and true skills on how to fight fairly in a marriage.”

There are some marriages that do not have what it takes to succeed. One can say they are doomed to fail. One of the reasons is the spouses did not take time to study each other before taking the decision to marry. This brings us to the important topic of choosing a partner for marriage. Once it is rightly done, the marriage has a good chance to succeed. Once it is wrongly done, failure will be inevitable.

My prayer for you is, if you are not yet married, that God may guide you to find the best person with whom you will have a very enjoyable marriage. If you are married, that God may grant you the wisdom and courage to do what is right to make your marriage as successful as it is in his plan for it.

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2 thoughts on “Are you and your spouse team mates or rivals?

  1. Amazing piece. As a single mother who has never been married before, when significant others in my life in the past who have wanted to marry me, it was always such a huge deal for me. Not only do I have to think about how daily life would be with this person, but how would he be as an instant father to me son? I truly believe in the “team” mentality. My main requirement is that he has the same goal(s) in life as me, or similar. I’m interested in charity work so I look for someone with a compassionate heart, who wants to have a family and will bring out the best in me (and vice versa) to name a few.

    Like

    1. If you find someone who wants to bring out the best in you I can bet that will be a good choice for you because since you also like to bring out the best in him, you will get on very well.While you want his best interest, he wants your best interest. But life being what it is, we may not always have what we want, so we go for the next best and try to make the best out of it. Thanks for your comment

      Liked by 1 person

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