This is my last post for 2018, and I want to leave you with something of value to start your 2019 even greater. Therefore, this post is dedicated to those who are having a hard time accepting themselves for who they are, for them to realise that taking ownership of who they are will lead to personal greatness.
So, let’s be clear on this, you will never be someone you are not supposed to be. You may wonder why my life is like this, when in fact, flaws in all, you make your life the best it can be. All the past experiences and memories made have shaped your life. The thought may linger that it is for the better or the worse. But eventually, you make things happen if you want them to.
Just gaze your eyes upon your surroundings, you’ll realise that everything happens for a reason. You cannot depend on other people for your happiness, for they will leave you helpless if you have those expectations of them. Therefore, you must want happiness for yourself before anyone will want it for you.
So, How Do You Do That?
“If you want to dress a certain way, live your life a certain way, act a certain way, then own it. You need to live up to the person you put out there. You do this by accepting who you are.” I couldn’t say it any better than Lauren Alexander.
So, what is the best version of yourself? Because you need to be that person. People have a tendency to influence your opinions, actions or thoughts. However, you only have yourself at the end of the day and live with the consequences of your own actions.
So, taking ownership of who you are is something you need to wear with pride.
Many of us go through life wondering about the “what ifs.” The truth is that people will always be prettier, nicer or have a better life than you. But there will never be a person like yourself. You may meet people similar to you during your life, but in the end, you are unique. Be someone you strive to become, a person that other people would want to meet and be around with.
Stop Negative Self-Talk
When you’ve accepted for who you are, it’s time to put in conscious effort to stop negative self-talk. Don’t be ashamed about it, because this is something that we all struggle with; we all think down on ourselves when we don’t accept who we are. Think back and ask yourself how many times someone has given you a compliment and you’ve shrugged it off.
When someone compliments you, reflect on the experience. It’s okay to be humble and that’s a wonderful trait to have, but learn to appreciate your own hard work and efforts — especially when others are noticing it as well. Make a mental note of how well-appreciated it was and what you did to achieve that goal. Eventually, when you’re working on other things, you’ll have a boost in your self-confidence.
The thing is if you are not happy with yourself, people won’t be wanting to get to know you. People have a habit of picking small tendencies about you before you even know it. So, when you are not happy being you, others will start to notice.
No One Else’s Opinion Really Matter
Surely, you’ve met and you’re going to meet people who will knock you down. Sometimes, they are good people, and sometimes they aren’t. Sometimes, they are angry and quick to judge, or sometimes you just caught them on a bad day. Sometimes, they just suck in that moment, and you were an unfortunate bystander.
No matter what, they will take it out on you, they will tell you that you aren’t good enough and tear you down.
We get caught up in others’ opinions of ourselves too often. As a result, we adjust ourselves and hide personality traits we think may cause others to laugh at us. So, the idea of “owning it” comes back. Why should you care what other people think? Are they you? Are they living your life? No!
Believe me, other people have their own personality traits and talents to worry about.
Get Serious About Your Goals
Once you know who you are and what you want to be, it’s time to set goals for yourself and take serious steps to get to them.
If you want to become a writer, then start writing. Search and reach out to support groups and people who can help give you ideas and edit your work. If you want to pursue higher education, then start thinking about your career path, your interests and personality traits, and make smart choices on the classes you take and how they can help you to reach your goal.
What it all comes down to is that in order to embrace what makes you who you are, you have to be proactive. I often hear the phrase, “You don’t have to do anything,” being thrown around. That’s only applicable if you have no goals in life. If you do have goals, then you “must” make certain proactive decisions and get started.
So, figure out where you want to go in life, and take steps toward achieving that. Find a way to make all of your personality traits, quirks, interests and hobbies work together. Start developing your personal brand, become an industry expert, be honest and true to yourself. Don’t let life pass you by with you trying to be someone you are not. You may work towards having better traits, but that comes with time.
What You Can Do Now?
For each person, regardless of you’re a leader, manager, worker, or student, having a continuous willingness to be vulnerable is the fundamental difference between staying stuck in today and leaping into tomorrow.
When there are no guarantees, we must be willing to act decisively and confidently by sometimes depending on others for our success, saying “I don’t know” or “I’m scared.”
Start going where you have never gone before, and create the space for others to do the same.
Originally published at ye-chen.com.
- How will you start your 2019?
- What personal changes do you strive for in 2019?
Have your say in the comment section 🙂
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