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A letter that is hitting girls around the world

Drawing courtesy Prachi Meena
Drawing courtesy Prachi Meena

Girls around the world face enormous challenges. Many of them end with broken hearts. Some boys end with broken hearts also but girls suffer the most. I can’t sit and watch my lovely girls end with shattered hearts. Hence this advice from a father who cares.

My dear girls,
This is a loving letter to you from someone who cares. You will see how much I love you as you read along. I am writing to you from the bottom of my heart and I am happy you are willing to listen to advice from an old man.

I am an old man and I know what I am talking about. I am writing to you because I know the challenges you face as girls. I know what many of you are going through. I have been interacting with young people since 1981. This has enabled me to have a very good understanding of the problems you face.

I do not like any of you, who are reading this, to go through what I see many girls going through.  I want nothing but the best for you. If you follow my advise, I am confident you will have the best.

I believe there are many parents, who, like me, want only the best for their girls. They are worried about what may happen to them if they should fall into the hands of unkind boys. Such boys might break their hearts. I don’t want your heart broken.

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My dear girls, you might have already faced many challenges.  As you read this, there are millions of girls like you around the world with broken hearts. There are others whose hearts are being broken at this very moment; and others whose hearts will be broken tomorrow. It wouldn’t surprise me if you tell me you are one of them. I do not want you to be one of them. That is why I am talking to you through this medium. Many girls like you will have broken hearts by the end of today. I write to tell you that this should not be so. Do not give room to anyone to break your heart. Do you want a broken heart? If you do, tell me not to worry myself.

What must you do? This is the big question. The temptations that will come your way are many; the traps are uncountable; and into any of them, you can easily fall.

It is important for you to know to whom you are giving your heart; or who you must open the door of your heart to.

This is the crux of the matter. If you give your heart to the wrong person, be sure he will break it to pieces. If you give the keys of your heart to the wrong person, he will be happy to open the door, come in freely, move about freely, and live there freely;  but before he leaves he will shatter your heart and leave without a word; without caring what he has done. Am I saying something?

In this world, you will come across many kinds of people. There are those who will be indifferent to you. To them, your life is your business and not their concern. Whatever happens to you is your problem.

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You will meet those who will give you the impression that they care about you and want the best for you; but in fact, that will not be true. All they will want will be to satisfy their selfish interest; their greed. At the least opportunity, they will break your heart.

In the third place, you will have those who will genuinely care about you; who  will value you so much that they will want to see you safe and happy always. These are the ones who will go to any length to shower you with what your heart needs the most; and that is love.

Who of these three people should you give your heart to? The choice you make here is most important. If you make a mistake, the result will be tragic.

Anyone who does not value your heart is not worthy of your heart. Would you give free access into your home to someone who will bring in a bomb and shatter it? Not at all. Same should go for your heart.

Anyone who does not value your heart should not have a place in it. To give a place in your heart to such a person would be like planting a virus in you computer.  Just like a virus will end up destroying your computer, such a person will end up breaking your heart.

Someone has very wisely said, “Don’t waste your time on people who don’t care about you, on relationships that don’t make you happy.”
Give your heart only to those who value it; who will nourish it; who will care for it, who will nurture it; water it, and make it bloom.

Stay clear of the mistake of judging a gift from its cover. A gift of no value may be so well packaged that it will  look precious. You cannot say a book is good just because its cover is beautiful. Do not judge from appearances. It is the content that matters not the container. Unfortunately, many girls judge boys from their looks and the content of their pockets.

Go for value. Go for a noble, honest, caring heart. A person with such a heart is better than someone with a handsome look or a star that shines and glitters but is of questionable character..

Experience has shown that when a young man desires you, he will say and do whatever he can to get you. He will promise you heaven and earth. But do not let his passion deceive you. Do not be too believing. Look deeper inside the container to see what is there before you buy it. His desire for you is not necessarily love for you.

Know that love is always stronger before marriage  than after marriage. If you have to run after the man who will marry you to get him to love you, do not expect this to change once you are married.

If you think you will marry someone and bend him to suit your taste, you are in for a disappointment. If he is not what you want, do not expect him to become that after you get married. He will not. If you accept him. accept him as he is. If you want a change, only love can do that for you. Love him to change.

I see many hearts shattered because the young man has put the girl he got married to in the middle of the sea and disappeared. You need to learn to swim before you marry, so that in the middle of any sea, you will swim out instead of allowing yourself to drown. If you do,  you will be the loser.

Know that life is not a bed of roses. There will be hard moments in your relationship. There are always such nmoments. There is no relarionship that is perfect. Hence, do not run away because you are having some problems.

It’s not everything that your heart desires that is good for you. Many of the things that your heart will desire will be your enemies. If you go for them, they will undo you; destroy you. Can’t you think of them? I allow that to you; but to mention however, that in the same way, it is not because your desire for a certain boy is strong that you must think you should have him for yourself at all cost. In fact, that desire could be a temptation to destroy you.

Know how temptation works. It starts with desire. if you pay just a little attention to it it will  grow bigger. The more attention you pay to it, the bigger it will grow; and eventually, if you are not smart enough to put your heart off it, it will grow out of proportion.

Always test your gold before you buy it. Fake gold is often hard to know. It may look more attractive than real gold.

Do not pin your happiness or success on a relationship. Do not pretend to be what you are not just because you want to please your man and protect your relationship. If you find that you are the only one giving to keep your relationship going while the other person is only at the receiving end, that is not the right relationship for you. Step out of it.

Be strong. Life calls for strength not weakness.Take these wise words: “Follow your heart, but take your brain with you.” As Taylor Lynn puts it, If someone is making you their second place, they’re not worth your first place.”

Many voices in society will tell you “a woman should not waste her time in school; a woman should get a husband and start making children and taking care of them.” Give a deaf ear to such sterile voices. Such thinking is of the past. They know not what they say. Rather listen to people who know what they say.

Your education is important. Michelle Obama, the first lady of the United States for eight years wants you to be “hungry to get your education. It is going to be the key to your future.”

People will tell you a woman cannot do this; a woman cannot do that. I want to tell you loudly and strongly a woman can do whatever she wants to do if she wants to do it enough, is determined enough, and goes for it enough.

“There is no force equal to that of a determined woman.”

A woman can become the President of her country. A woman can rise to the highest position in the world. A woman has been to the moon and back. Women have won the Nobel Prize. Women are pilots, scientists, engineers, generals in the army; women are star; and the list can continue.

Michelle Obama has more sound advice for you: “Compete with the boys, beat the boys, because you all are capable.” I believe when she says, “You are already mentors because there are girls in your community looking up to you.”

Talking about the American First Lady, and her “incredible life advice” to 1000 school girls, Julie Zeilinger says, “learning that she was worthy at a young age made all the difference in her ability to pursue her dreams.”

This outstanding woman advises you not to worry about who likes you when it is not the right time for it. “If I worried about who liked me and who thought I was cute at your age, I wouldn’t be married to the President of the United States.”

Undoubtedly, in those young days, many adored her and desired her; but she was strong enough not to be carried away this; but to say no; to wait; to remain focused; to pursue her education.

Learn to push aside anyone who wants to push you down. If the one who says he loves you allows himself to be snatched from you by another woman, allow them to fly to the moon if they can. As someone has so brilliantly said, “Real men can’t be stolen.”

My dear gilrs, if the relationship is not working, do not force it. Drop it; and if it’s over, it’s over. Let it go. Don’t hang on it. Take this advice: “Do not pine after a long-gone relationships and do not be vindictive and mean when a relationship ends.”

I could go on and on but what I’ve said is enough. I really hope it helps you to stay clear of trouble.

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33 Comments Leave a comment

  1. “Someone has very wisely said, “Don’t waste your time on people who don’t care about you, on relationships that don’t make you happy.”
    Give your heart only to those who value it; who will nourish it; who will care for it, who will nurture it; water it, and make it bloom.” Good advice, Ngobesing! We should choose wisely: it will help us be happier and give more back everntually!

    Like

  2. Great letter it is. We usually do before thinking whereas we should think before doing. Thus change should have come.
    Just a minor suggestion, this line of 23rd paragraph has spelling mistake of the word ‘moment’. Correct it. “There are always such nmoments.”-this is that sentence.

    Like

  3. That is amazing sir!
    I really loved it and I hope that every young girl my age can see this someday and understand what you are saying. Thank you so much for this beautiful insight into the perspective of the world.

    Like

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