Depression has become a clichéd illness affecting many beings in today’s fast paced world but we ought not take it lightly assuming it to be a very natural phenomenon. I call depression a ‘disease’ for it actually feels devastating going through this phase. Mental energy gets depleted to an extent that performing even basic chores lead to an extreme physical exhaustion. It is said that reaching out to others help but most of the time it is the perception of not being understood that hinders one from talking about it. Moreover especially when one is clueless about it and has drawn a restricting boundary around, it becomes all the more difficult to even express the symptoms. It can be either dissatisfaction with the way life has proceeded or the way life is passing and maybe even future concerns that can land one in depression. Though life seems to hold no meaning and the daily chaos becomes difficult to handle with time, hope needs to be alive for cure and treatment to work. Depression does heal but it takes time and a lot of efforts.
There is also a dearth of good listeners for many are ready to hear but few accept and the most of the symptoms expressed by the sufferers are taken for granted as excuses. Mere advice to enhance focus and the motivational stuff doesn’t work. Depression actually requires contemplative treatment under the supervision of a loved one, counselor or psychiatrist as per the conditions.
Life actually goes through a turbulence when attacked by this stagnating beast and if we want it not to reside within us for days, months and years; we need to share our feelings. And it is absolutely not selfish when you seek love without attachments and it is also okay at times if you ask help even if you cannot reciprocate! So desist not from talking about it….
In the given stanzas, I have tried describing how it feels passing through this dark phase.
When the emotions take rest
And sentiments overflow indifferently,
When mental weariness
Accompany as a best friend;
It is certainly an aimless walk
Along the pathless track.
When brain gets infested by worms
And rust occupies the grey matter,
When fatigue plagues the body
And limbs get paralyzed;
It is not just a malaise
But a vile raid by an invisible foreigner!
When life turns into an illusion
And Mr. Hope seems a counterfeit,
When the hollowness slowly creeps
And continues digging a dark abysmal;
It is not just mere emptiness
But an anonymous fear that haunts!
When there are times that cannot be changed
And some lost battles to be wept over,
When expectations go unfulfilled
And relations get broken,
However unlike always
There need not be a rationale,
For this uninvited guest.
When the talking mind comes to a halt
And heart sinks in a trauma,
When the fog blurs vision
And inner voice becomes inaudible,
It is not just the dampening of inner quest,
But a gradual loss of consciousness and identity.
When sleepless nights and wet pillows
Become a daily ritual,
When the dreadful nights seem better
Than the bright mornings
And sunshine hurts!
It is not just another gloomy day,
But a daily struggle for survival.
When one is bound to move in veil
And put up the pretense of normality,
When ambiguity is all that remains
And clouds that question worthiness
Continue to hover around head;
It is not just a wish to quit deception
But a desire for escape that grows!
When one looks in the mirror
And sees eyes bleeding,
When self-talk doesn’t help
And giving up seems best,
It is not that there aren’t listeners
But only if someone can empathize!
When pain aggravates
And Ascends like a climber
When trap becomes inescapable
And wings become ineffective
It is not that there is no cure
But only if hope persists!