Sometimes

And then there was one

Sometimes the pain is so great, you can’t feel anything else.

Sometimes you keep yourself as busy as possible, but you still can’t stop thinking about him.

Sometimes you wonder not if it will ever get better, but if it will stay better when it does.

Sometimes you need to just walk away when every fiber of your being is telling you not to do so.

Sometimes you run out of excuses trying to defend bad behavior.

Sometimes you are surrounded by a sea of people but you’ve never felt more alone.

When you write about relationships and you document your own failures time after time you start to feel as if things will never get better. As I said the other day I am taking time away from my blog and reassessing my life and why my relationships keep failing. Sometimes it is out of my control but at…

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Reading, Writing and Statistics, Oh My!

And then there was one

I saw Guitar Hero again. Things are progressing slowly but really well. I am happy that we are taking it slow, I need to and so does he. I am just enjoying the time we spend together and time is precious as we are both very busy individuals right now. There is a lot of chemistry there – physical and mental. And we communicate really well. No guessing games going on about when to see each other and what we expect right now. I guess when you throw two Geminis together you can’t help but communicate (I mean that jokingly).  I like that aspect about him and he about me. It’s refreshing. And I am doing my best to wait on the physical part and he too – and we both agree that is not easy. He tends to fall too hard too fast and well, if you follow my…

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A Major Plot Twist

And then there was one

via Daily Prompt: Elevate

So I met someone else. This has my world spinning in a different direction than I thought. I have not met up with VG yet, we were talking and of course had plans that he eventually broke, his work excuses started up again. I get it, but I don’t. It really all is work-related but the constant work excuse is tiring and wearing thin now. And I can say with absolute certainty there is not someone else, at least for him, but the lack of plans is just not acceptable if he really wants to make this work. I honestly don’t know where we are headed, if anywhere anymore, but I need to take a step back and reassess.

So the new guy and I met up in my town for a drink and the place where we were supposed to meet was closed for the…

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A Break is Critical

And then there was one

via Daily Prompt: Critical

No, not a relationship break. I need a little time off from blogging. I begin classes again next week (insert screaming face here) and already have an assignment to read for one class (again insert screaming face here). I am taking a few days off from work, much needed, and recharging my batteries for the upcoming semester. Work is also draining me. I am spearheading a huge initiative that will impact the entire University I work for, so to say the pressure is on would be an understatement. I am exhausted mentally and it has shown in my sleep patterns and overall lethargy.

I have also started writing my book again. It has been a labor of love and I neglected it for a few months. I am going to concentrate on that for a bit. I love my blog and writing for it, but I…

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A Thank You, Sort Of

And then there was one

via Daily Prompt: Homage

I want to pay homage to some of my exes, well sort of. I would like to thank my exes for:

Teaching me that I can’t force love. You were selfish in taking it, and also in giving it back.

Teaching me that communication is key. You thought hiding in plain sight was better, when it only showed me that you are a coward and I deserve more.

Teaching me that I need to always listen. You taught me what it feels like when your partner doesn’t and only responds and accuses.

Thank you for walking away and treating me as if I had no feelings or didn’t matter. Your silence was louder than an alarm clock and it woke me up to what I deserve and it was not your treatment.

Teaching me that not everyone has good intentions. You took more from me than…

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The Disappearing Friend

And then there was one

We all have them and some of us have done it too. We reunite with our old loves or we are in a new relationship and all of sudden we disappear. Those late night sessions where we’d cry to our friends about the guy who hurt us or that we hated being single are now a distant memory. And we become the friend that disappears. Our life has gotten better and we don’t need to cry or vent anymore. Slowly we start to pull away, call less, text less, just be there less.

I’ve had these friends in my life and I have done it in the past, years ago, not anymore as I’ve gotten older. With age comes wisdom. Even in my most recent relationship I would never hesitate taking a phone call, sending a text (not hours later), seeing someone or just being there when a friend needed…

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It’s a wrap, and a prediction

And then there was one

I had another date with The Rock again last night. Sushi and drinks in a beautiful town in central Jersey. The conversation flowed, he was sweet in his gestures and well, probably not for me. I can’t quite pinpoint it but I’m not feeling it. It may be that he is pushing a relationship with me, to be exclusive, and honestly, I’m not ready for that yet, or maybe I don’t want it with him. Probably the latter. It’s a wrap on this one for me.

As a self-described relationship girl, this probably comes as a surprise to many who don’t know me, but I won’t be with someone just to be with someone. Been there once and it was a disaster. And it’s also the reason why I won’t be with someone who has continually hurt me, just to be with someone. Been there, done that and trust me…

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