#SIWOPC: PLEASE LET ME BE

My dream life is a life lived in a world where no one is judged. Where each person is free just to be themselves – hence I wrote this poem to express just that.

Please let me be

for the world

Please let me be queer

let me be queer it’s my life

be all the regular I don’t care

Please let me be a misfit

I am done trying to fit

You can do all the fit in I don’t care

I come from a broken home

I now lead a broken home

keep your fixed home

He cries mama

she teased my papa is gay

And so what I ask?

gay means happy

why be any judge?

and then go to church?

sing unconditional love

and love so conditionally?

They call me a rascal because I love pascal

he is such a friend

we trust each other so

sinners you say?

who did HE come for?

Winners they who followed HIM

Shabby may be the dress code

merry the constant mode

you can care for your body

I’ll care for my mind

I envy you not

spare your nod

Please let me be

(c) 2017 Marie Abanga

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Are you ready to heal and deal or whichever comes first for you?

heal

Heal

I found this definition online:

to make healthy, whole, or sound;restore to health; free from ailment

Heal yourself with love, joypeace & compassion

Well, just on it’s own, I think to heal is pretty easy right? The benefits are glaring and em everybody wants a ‘healthy heart’ so they live long right? If it’s physical wounds and stuff of course we can’t stand the awful ordour, or blood gushing and handicap that may arise. So we are prepared to do all it takes, go to whoever it is, to get that wound or ailment healed.

Now when it’s emotional stuff, hmm; psychological stuff, hmm hmm and on we go… The first picture at the top  says it all: You can’t heal what you refuse to confront… of course even with that wound you have to look at it…

 

Deal

deal

This one phrase from the various definitions of the word, caught my attention: To take action with respect to someone or something:

When something is not right, and we want to heal, we have to think of the deal involved…

I titled this post H&D or D&H and you’ll see why now.

There is an issue bugging you, and maybe you just don’t have the energy (be it emotional, psychological etc) to work to heal. You reflect on the deal (used here to mean the worth), and you decide you ain’t ready to go there… I mean a friend once told me they would have loved loving someone, but how it hurts to love and loss. They weren’t prepared to go that way again yet or even ever… they’ve sort of dealt with that issue “for now we may add”, but they have not emabarked on any healing because there’s no big deal…

And that is how I think there are situations where the healing preceded the dealing, while in other scenarios the dealing leads the healing. It may be a choice or a natural process. And yet, it sure takes and deserves time…

time-to-heal

 

What’s holding you back

When we don’t H&D or D&H, the pain stays there. It stays and grows, and gains proportion – intensity and much more. I mean the pain starts to Haunt you, then it Hunts you down and then it Hurts you terribly.  It could someday become you, your story, your definition. People start saying: who, that angry woman? That jealous woman? That childless woman? That drunkard? That Selfish fellow? you name it…

You’ve gotta want to do that dirty homework of confronting what’s wrong. First you have to identify it, feel it, even embrace it, then deal with it in order to proceed to the healing. Other times, you may have to first position your mind to let go of the saga (heal), forgive yourself and show yourself love and all, then you can deal with it once and for all.

 

N.B: If you/anyone wants to get in touch or get more details about my related service, please visit my website to this effect http://marieabanga.com/

Are healing and living intertwined maybe?

healing

Hello World, I want to share a poem I wrote for a friend and I while we were processing a scenario which was impeding on the success of our relationship. I was advocating we not keep pushing the discussion away because ‘avoiding’ the conversation/denying what was happening or not wanting to face life as it presented itself then, was actually stalling the quality of life we could offer ourselves at the moment or moving forward. I hope it inspires and motivates someone.

My poem is titled: “Healing and Living”

To Heal we have to Live

To Live we have to Heal

Never heard of a dead Healing

Nor a Living not craving Healing

Healing is often letting go

Letting go of expectations

Letting go of painful emotions

Letting go of tough feelings

Letting go of unmet desires

Continue reading here

If you want to get in touch or get more details about my related service, please visit my website to this effect

Do you trust to Tell?

Hello world, today is World Mental Health Day and in spite of all the sensitization and advocacy, the statistics remain bleak. Many people it would appear don’t seek for help in the early stages of the mental and emotional challenges because they fear being stigmatized and marginalized. It is a sort of catch 22 in my opinion. If you don’t seek for help, you risk not getting any help and may deteriorate; if you dare seek for help, you risk getting stigmatized, poor treated, more trauma and you may still deteriorate.

What do we do in our changing world, we are all different and I believe that is ok.

I therefore wrote a blog post called: “Trusting to tell” because I took a big leap of faith, I trusted to tell, and I got so much help from different angles and I am now in a position to help others. May you be inspired and motivated especially on this day which is celebrated the world over as World Mental Health Day under the timely theme: “YOUNG PEOPLE AND MENTAL HEALTH IN A CHANGING WORLD”. I hope my post on my own ‘trusting to tell’ journey really inspires and motivates us all to ‘trust to tell’ and get the help or listening ear we have been longing for.

If you want to get in touch or get more details about my related service, please visit my website to this effect

 

 

What do people say…when you say…?

MAA

Hello World, happy new week. Continuing with my advocacy and inspiration to motivate us all to take care of our mental wellbeing, I wish to share another poem of mine titled: “When you say…I will say…”

When you say I don’t know me anymore, I will say I can imagine how you feel…

When you say my mind is murky, I will say I can imagine how you feel…

When you say you can’t take it no more, I will say I can imagine how you feel…

When you say you had a miscarriage, I will say I can imagine how you feel…

When you say you just buried a child, I will say I can imagine how you feel…

Continue to read here

p.s: I have been ‘down there’, where you don’t know who to talk to, you dread what they will say if they know you too are ‘down there’…but I am very grateful I found people I could talk too, and I got all the help I did, and I am alive especially on this day when my 1st son turns 15 years

If you want to get in touch or get more details about my related service, please visit my website to this effect

Do you think someone knows where you are coming from?

i-know

Hello world, sometimes we think we are so alone in our struggles and challenges; we don’t know who to turn to nor what to do. We can’t heal and move on if we don’t think someone ‘knows where we are coming from’.

I wrote this poem to inspire myself and others, so we all know there is someone somewhere out there who knows where we are coming from. Sometimes, we may just have to brave it to go searching ‘online or offline’, but we have to take that first step in our cognitive beliefs, that it’s okay to be where we are but that it is even more okay to go searching for help; and yes because there is surely someone somewhere who knows where we are coming from.

My poem for today is titled: ‘I know where you are coming from’

Are you sad;

Are you troubled;

Are you anxious;

Are you nervous;

Are you overwhelmed;

Are you outright scared?

I know where you are coming from!!! 

 

Alert: It’s a bit longer than my other other poems and may trigger some

Continue reading the poem here

 

If you want to get in touch or get more details about my related service, please visit my website to this effect

Have you ever reached rock bottom and don’t know what to do?

WCS

Hello all, October is a very special month for me, lots of causes close to my heart to raise awareness about (Domestic Violence, Mental Health, Pregnancy & Infant Loss). I will therefore want to throughout this month, share stuffs to above all to inspire those who may still be ‘where I was back then’, those who have hit rock bottom, and who don’t know what to do.

I am a staunch mental health advocate, have never made a sugar coat of that, I live with PTSD and RA, but I am a survivor and warrior; mine is a journey from ‘Hopeless 2 Hopeful’. All my posts here have mental health advocacy as a subtle theme. We can’t be high achievers and inspirers if we neglect our mental wellbeing.

My poem is entitled: “Because I have hit Rock Bottom I can…”

Because I have hit rock bottom, I can work with those who have

Because I have been abused, I can work with those who have

Because I have been traumatized, I can work with those who have

Because I have known pain, I can work with those who have

Because I have known loss and grief, I can work with those who have…

Continue reading here

P.S I chose purple because it signifies hope to me

If you want to get in touch or get more details about my related service, please visit my website to this effect