Single but not alone.

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The most profound relationship we can ever have is the one we have with ourselves.

It’s almost as if being single is a taboo. Everyone on the internet is in the race of whose relationship is the best. Whose relationship lasts longer. Who has the best boy or girlfriend. And when some couples break up, then it’s a shaming contest. A whole charade of people mocking, saying “lmao so you guys have broken up? Didn’t you say it was a match made in heaven? ” Its sad. And all of this really puts my idea of relationships in perspective.

African moms can kill for a wedding. But before you even get a husband, they low-key don’t want you to date. For them, a husband will just appear to you and BOOM, marriage😂. When a daughter reaches mid 20s, you already hear talks like “when are you getting married?…

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I’m still healing…

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Wounds don’t heal the way you want them to. They heal the way they need to.

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I don’t know if many people value healing or if they give themselves enough time to do so. Most times when someone goes through a loss or a heartbreak, people expect them to be over it quickly. I had a conversation with a friend and he wondered why I wasn’t dating or why I didn’t want to give a certain guy a chance and I told him “I’m working on myself. I’m still healing“. And he was like ” but you can heal with someone by yourself. You can let love do the work for You ” and I laughed. The truth is, if we gave ourselves the time and space to heal, we will avoid a lot of problems and save time. If we just gave ourselves time to know and…

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The power in gratitude.

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A grateful heart is a magnet for miracles.

For the longest time I asked myself what I did wrong. Where I went wrong. What I should have done differently. What I should have said differently. Who I should have or shouldn’t have met, dated or let into my life. I questioned everything and wondered if I had done one thing differently, maybe my life would have been different, better, safer, with less turmoil and drama. Maybe but we’ll never really know so why do I keep focusing on that? And through my months or even years of reflection, it all became clear to me: Gratitude.

The power is in your response.

What is your response when things happen to you? What do you do in the midst of complications, miscommunications, setbacks, relationship problems, family problems? Do you complain or give thanks? Are you grateful for the things you can’t…

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I forgive myself.

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Some days your past comes knocking at your door and it presents you memories. Some good, some bad but most often we dwell in the bad ones. We recapture all our mistakes and start wondering what we could have done differently. We weigh in all the ‘what ifs ‘ and ‘maybes’. We even let those mistakes define us. We hate ourselves. Well, this poem is a reminder for you to forgive yourself because who you were yesterday is in no way near the person you are today.


For so long I let my sins eat me raw

I watched myself drown in an ocean of tears

I was overshadowed by a cloud of guilt

What happened to me?

The person whose heart was filled with hope, resilience and love?

My dreams all went away together with pieces of me.

I settled, I forgot who I was.

I trembled, at the…

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Love regardless.

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Regardless of what else you put on, wear love. It’s your basic, all-purpose garment. Never be without it.

Love is such a complex topic. One will direct you to 1 Corinthians 13:4-8

“Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth. Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Love never ends. As for prophecies, they will pass away; as for tongues, they will cease; as for knowledge, it will pass away.”

Reading this, you’ll think it’s an ABC thing but when life and reality hits you, you realize it takes more than just words and Bible verses to live by. You need discipline, commitment, patience, understanding etc but it’s not impossible.

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24 lessons I picked up in my years of living

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It is my birthday! Wow…what can I say? I am grateful to see another new age and to be honest, it has been a hell of a ride. I can’t say I’m where I want to be but I’m definitely not where I used to be. 2018 for me right from the start was a year I declared a lot of growth and claiming ownership: of my life, my choices, my needs, my purpose. I wanted this year (I still do) to be a fresh start. I was done living a certain way, making the same mistakes, going through the same issues and just turning in circles. I needed it to be different; my breakthrough. So I embarked on that journey.

During the past years, life has hit me with tragedies, heartbreaks, failures, successes and each mistake and win brought about a lesson or lessons. So as I look back…

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New beginnings

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I remember anticipating, almost craving the new year
Picked up my diary, scribbled words
Goals, changes, even my fears
Hoping the simple act of writing could change my world
But it was more of a routine
I was covered in facades, crowd pleasing
Focusing on the outside than what was within
So I tried finding answers to the ‘why’
And it struck me…
No matter how hard you try
Your actions and decisions will always be a reflection of your heart
Your thoughts rule your life
You can’t serve two masters at a time
It’s either light or dark, good or bad.
So until you truly want this year to be your year
Face your demons!
Dig deep, explore, understand, feel
Then release everything, shred old skin
Be the change, make the difference.
It always starts with you

But you have to start now…

Sammy J


For anyone who set…

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