I’m a firm believer in anxiety and the power of negative thinking Gertrude Berg
Be happy,be positive,be successful etc are very popular statements, we come across these days.
This philosophy says, you wish any thing and be positive and you are sure to get it.
So simple ! Abracadabra !
Oh My God,if only life were that simple ! Positive thinking pattern does not work just like that.
The problem with us is that you have hundreds of options making you uncertain of your choice resulting in wishing for good ones thus going in for positive thinking.
Positive thinking is nothing but a kind of ‘being hopeful’ that can be ‘deceitful’.
Nothing more deceitful than ‘Don’t worry be happy’ attitude.
In positive thinking there is no fear factor,because your wishes are on a platter !
If you go on relying on these so called positive vibrations,there are chances that you may relax a bit become overconfident and lenient resulting in failures and disappointments.Do you wish this to happen ?
This is where negative thinking comes to the rescue.How is that ?
The psychology applied here is very simple.
“When I expect the worst,then I won’t be disappointed when things go wrong”
Respect your negative thoughts by not getting demotivated and try to broaden your horizons.Negative thoughts arenatural.Welcome it.
Negative thinking makes you understand the problems thoroughly and keeps you well prepared to face the eventuality and you are sure to come out successfully.
Negative thinking makes you a stronger person mentally.( you become a realistic )
Negative thinkers have greatest advantage in winning the situation because if plan A fails…you already have plan B in motion.
Negative thinkers foresee the problems,willing to learn and easily convert failure into success.
You develop confidence and survival instinct.
Check this youtube clip
“Being able to tolerate negative feelings can be crucial to a wide variety of life situations: delaying gratification, learning from bad experiences, truly hearing what other people have to say, and assessing our own circumstances.” Julie K. Norem
“The most intriguing people you will encounter in this life are the people who had insights about you, that you didn’t know about yourself.” Shannon L. Alder
It’s 3.1 minute read.
“Oh God ,I just met you ,but I feel I know you so much already”
A kindred spirit is someone whose energy resonates at the same frequency as yours.
They are the FEEL GOOD FACTORS
This can happen when you meet some one in person or online !
Definition of Kindred Spirit
According to Free Dictionary, Kindred spirit is defined as
“A person who shares several or many fundamental beliefs,ideas,convictions,sentiments,attitudes and/or interests with oneself”.
It’s shared way of experiencing the world.
Simply put, a kindred spirit is someone who you share a mutual meaningful connection with.
Kindred spirit is the person who understands you so well and you too feel ,you understand this person equally well at the very first meeting between you both.
Both are very comfortable with each other at any given point .
It’s about innate connection.
The kindred spirit can enter your life for a moment, for a short period or be with you life long .
We meet many people in our lives.With some we feel the disconnect as if there is a wall in between but with some you feel they are magnetic and you both get attracted to each other !
To discover a kindred spirit is to find your heart ,in the heart of a friend. Ann Parrish
Kindred spirits can be with anybody,be a known or unknown person.
What is the basis of Kindred Spirits ?
You both share common interests.
you can talk hours together and surprisingly outsiders can’t understand you.
You both understand each other so well and there is never an argument.
You both enjoy each others humour
You both feel as if you are a long-lost friends.
You are comfortable with each other .
You don’t hesitate to tell the most personal stuff
Though you might have met the person physically or online for a brief period, you have some sixth sense telling you that you can trust this person.
You are available all the time supporting each other both in Times of happiness and sadness.
You both are always in sync.You both understand your limitations.And there is some unexplainable cosmic flow between the two.The relationship is always positive and supportive.
Don’t confuse Kindred Spirits with soul mates or Twin flames.That is another discussion on some other day.
Marriage is two hearts that beat as one and two souls that crave to be together… all very poetic and pleasing to the ear!
After the Honeymoon period and a few years of marriage, the husband begins to stop pretending that his wife is Helen of Troy and begins looking around, albeit discreetly. The wife is likewise occupied, emptying her spouse’s pocket to line her cupboard, buying expensive clothes, perfumes, accessories; in short, everything to stay attractive and ahead in the race.
Extramarital affairs are as old as marriage itself is.The reasons why a man may have an affair or cheat and the reasons why a woman would have an affair and/or cheat her spouse are very different.
Since time immemorial, we have heard of and witnessed:
men going astray,
men not staying true to the one they love,
men falling for another woman, or
men leaving one woman for another.
What makes Men stray, and cheat? Is it temptation for the unknown, is it a need for adventure, or is it just that we fall out of love with one person and seek another? There is no black and white answer to this. I wish there were one reason, but technology also came in and made it a lot easier to get entangled today.
One would immediately think sex is the biggest reason for men to cheat, but it turns out that it is not. However, Issues in a relationship, like non-communication, emotional disconnect, boredom, compatibility issues, turn out to be the bigger reasons.
Marital bliss no more : Men tend to be more emotional than many of us give them credit. Non-communication, or rude behaviour could hurt their feelings as much as a woman’s. Sometimes men go in search of emotional solace in another woman who readily gives them the respect, dignity and tenderness they find no more in their primary relationship.
Fantasies: To a certain extent, fantasies, fetishes, or plain attraction for another woman could be a reason. While many men are one-woman men, there are also men who are not satisfied with the same woman for a lifetime. Or it could just be the need to have more than one partner and curiosity about the other.
Old flames: When our past comes back – Old girlfriends through social media and new apps, technology aiding men to hide and have easier flings are also a cause for affairs. Dissatisfaction with the present and a desire to revisit the past just to check, could lead to an affair.
Falling out of love: Sometimes he simply doesn’t love her anymore. Love is elusive for most people; But for some – They never find love with one person, so they keep looking and seeking newer relationships till they find out that the problem lies with them.
Roving eye: Some men simply can’t keep from looking at other women. While checking out is a done thing, pursuing, chasing, and conquering are a high for many such men. They are never satisfied with one partner and an affair is a compulsion.
Office affair : This is common in modern times; usually is from an emotional fallout at home. Such relationships may begin as friendships and lead to something on business trips, with the comfort of being away from home.
No, it’s not at all connected to how you look, it’s the way how you make him feel. And sometimes, it may not be about you at all. It may just be mid-life and existential crisis the man is going through as an individual.
Going astray for a woman is much bigger a deal than a man cheating on his wife. A woman is very invested in her relationships. Due to changing times, women have done extremely well for themselves on the economic front, yet she still remains rooted in her belief system and values. So to have flings is one thing, but being in a marriage and seeking pleasure or companionship outside is not something a woman just does for fun. It is really serious, that she is seeking solace in another person.
Why another man? Women as creatures are intuitive. When things don’t work out, she knows its coming well in advance. Here are some reasons she could step out:
Technology : A feeling of being neglected, not cherished and cared for may lead a woman to another man or even a woman.
Can’t forget her past : Even though she is someone’s wife, she has feelings for her past lover. Though that affair didn’t lead to marriage, she kind of starts leaning backward again, if she gets disillusioned with her marriage. Sometimes women may still be in love with someone else.
Boredom of the drill : Wake up, clean potties, cook breakfast, get the home cleaned, get to work, shop for groceries, come back, cook dinner, and then crash. How many women get trapped in the usual day-to-day routine and get bored to death? An interesting new fresher walks in with the possibility of friendship, and an affair follows.
Neglect her and lose her: Men forget to invest in a wife, it’s usually while she is the girlfriend that it’s all about her. Once the battle is won, she may start feeling neglected and not cared for enough. Good enough reason to go looking out?
To be seen: It’s easy for men these days to overlook what they have, with so much distraction everywhere, from magazines to the Internet, to real-life attractions. A woman craves to be seen by her loved one, and she may go where she feels seen. Men, need to pay attention, now!
We cannot predict the outcomes for the choices we make in our Life. And the hardest thing to know is that in life you don’t have a “Ctrl+Z” to undo, redo what is once done. You may go on to do something again, maybe better, maybe worse, but once it’s done, it stays done and it cannot be reversed…. So Choose Wisely !!!!
Always remember The 3 C s of Life: Choices, Chances, Changes – You must make a choice to take a chance to change your life
Core values that can make your marriage work:
Being honest with each other
Respecting each other’s views
Giving each other space within the relationship without being possessive
Trusting each other
Doing things together – like going on a vacation, spending a night out of home, communicating feelings
What is ironic is that one has to travel the same path of flowers, chocolates, gifts, candle-light dinners and romance to become lucky again !
The Tell Tale Signs: Women have very strong instincts about their husbands. A straying hubby tries to hide it by turning extra loving towards his wife. A wife found her husband bringing her roses, acting very romantic all of a sudden, out of suspicion she started to probe on him and discovered him with his boss’ daughter, who was much younger than him! She walked out of the marriage, unable to stand the idea of being competed by a younger woman. Another sign is when he suddenly begins to take special care of his appearance, wearing sexy clothes, spraying on that extra bit of aftershave, striving to lose weight or dyeing his hair. He turns secretive about his whereabouts, switches his mobile off, starts working overtime, and yet, is not in the office when his wife calls! Thus, there are examples galore of people seeking excitement outside marriage.
However, most times, the blame must point within… the excitement and love have gradually died down over the years, and no attempts have been made to revive it. We must begin to identify the threats to one’s marriage and try to sort it out amicably before it gets out of control. There are certain values that must not be forgotten, that actually enhance the sacred bond of matrimony.
When diet is wrong,Medicine is of no use .When Diet is correct, there is no need of Medicine.
But sadly, many times we love to over eat, eat wrong food,and express lack of time for daily exercises. Many other excuses are readily available.
Some of my friends who are diabetic,regularly eat sweets ( which is forbidden),and they come up with statements saying that their sugar is under control since they take their diabetic medicines regularly ,as if the diabetic medicines give them the license to over eat the sweets.
Some other friends with Hypertension ( High blood Pressure ) eat food rich in salt, like pickles,salt laced chips etc.( salt is restricted for hypertensive patients).
They happily tell me that they are care free since medicines they take to control the BP, will also take care of their salt in the food.
What is your type ? Do You eat food and medicine also like my friends ?
If you ask me, yes,I find many times difficult to resist the food,over eat some times and take pancreatic enzyme tablets for better digestion,whenever I felt I overindulged.