“This is a story of a girl…” is perhaps a very common and popular beginning of most stories we heard from our parents in childhood. “There was a girl and a boy …to… and all is well that ends well” which is the familiar, popular ending too. As a child, the tragedies of our world do not seem to have any effect on our innocent minds with the exception of extreme cases where we are as well affected. We laughed wholeheartedly. Sometimes, the silence of tragedy would tickle us to giggle despite being conditioned to see tragedy to be of a certain seriousness by society. We fall and we cry, and then the next moment, we are in our own world, in our own plays, being the captains of the ships we sail in the streams and oceans of our dreams. Who we are and who do we become? It is not about making any points and neither decode life as it evolves. This blog is simply the sharing of my journey and insights about life as I feel, understand and live it; learn and know from it. This is the story of a girl. Indeed! The difference being, not that of a fictional character, but one who is breathing her truth. ♥
This is my bed. It is a black metal futon frame with a Full size mattress on it. The futon came with a typical futon mattress and for over two years I slept on the futon mattress (though I added a foam eggshell mattress topper).
Realized several years ago my mental health is going down the tubes when my kitchen gets to be a mess. The kitchen is the one room in the house I need to have clean. I can have piles of papers and clean and dirty clothes but if there are piles of dishes in the sink and the stove is not wiped off then something is wrong.
More recently I have discovered how much making my bed affects my mental state. My grandmother used to always make her bed. She made mine too, and tried to get me to make my own bed when I was old enough. My grandparent’s bed had a bed skirt and everything. It was a Queen size bed. Box Spring, mattress, and a wooden headboard. The Headboard matched the dresser and both were given to my grandparent’s as a gift from some of the parishioners of one of the Churches Grandfather served.
My grandmother had a hand embroidered Quilt Set. It was white with a blue cornflower motif. The bed skirt, top quilt, and several throw pillows made up the set. She would make the bed as most people do. Fitted sheet, Top sheet, light cover (made for sleeping) and the decorative cornflower top quilt (not made for sleeping). She would finish it off with the decorative pillows.
Yeah, that isn’t me. I learned from grandfather how to make hospital corners. My first job was a housekeeper at a Days Inn. So I made plenty of beds….not necessarily my own. For a long time even sleeping with any type of sheet on the bed was a hit or miss. I don’t do Top sheets at all. I was staying at friend’s house and her parents had a sleeper sofa. To make it more comfortable her mom had put one of the crushed velveteen blankets under the fitted sheet. Then the Top sheet and the sleeping cover. No need for a decorative quilt on a sleeper sofa. Without the use of my CPAP I run marathons in my sleep. I turn to one side and then the other. One time I did a complete 180 in my bed and woke up where my feet had been when I went to sleep the night before. Anyway, the next day when my friend’s mom went to strip and remake the bed we discovered I had not only bunched up the top sheet under the cover but I had somehow manage to strip the velveteen blanket under the fitted sheet without removing the fitted sheet.
At this point in my life my bedding consist of a fitted sheet, the blanket you see on the bed in the photo and three body pillows–with pillow casings (another non consistent item in my bed making). I added the only two throw pillows I have left which I care about. The Hello Kitty one I found while touring an empty apartment. It was in a really high cabinet which may or may not have had a rifle in it as well. The realtor agent never told me. The second throw pillow is in the color and has the House Crest of my favorite House in Harry Potter: Slytherin. The pillow was hand embroidered by a friend of mine who loves Harry Potter as much (or even more) than I do.
While my bed is simple to make, the act of making it, and of laundering sheets, pillowcases, and cover one a month or as needed, gives me sense of peace and order; starting my day off on the right note.
My suggestion to anyone who feels out of control or anxiety ridden or in a bad place mentally is to find the “making your bed” thing to help you through, to get you back on track. It might be journaling when you first wake up, or having a cup of coffee, or walking, or it make actually be making your bed. Whatever it is, having one thing which helps all the other things in life move easier through day is invaluable.
Yesterday in my post I wrote about the Psychological Concept of Synchronicity as explained by Carl Jung.
Synchronicity does not have fundamental empirical evidence to support it as a “force.” This was pointed out on by reader of the post in a well written comment. However, my post was not about proving the existence of Synchronicity. Both the primer post and this post are to explain the concept and why I believe it is a “force”–at least in my life–despite the lack of empirical evidence.
Having laid out the bare basics of the theory my personal experience is next.
Let me start by backing up.
I apologize. This is my third guest post on Success Inspirers’ World site. I failed to give an introduction as I am a new writer to the site. Given this opportunity to introduce myself I also can wrap in the context and background of where my belief in Synchronicity developed.
When I first started my WordPress Blog, acliddle.blog, I talked about my Spiritual Path in a two part post. The overall theme of my site is to share the journey of how I became a writer and how my characters’ stories continue to develop, how I continue to develop as a writer. I have been writing stories since I was in first grade. I have had a love of reading since long before grade school. My grandfather read me nursery rhymes at bed time. Each year at Christmas time, until I was ten years old, I was coaxed into the retelling of the story of the Nativity, which I did from memory for the first time when I was three years old. The need, the drive, the passion to be a storyteller, a writer, is in my soul.
I believe in messages. Not necessarily from an outside presence. One way these messages manifest to me is through Synchronicity. Most of the my experiences of Synchronicity are positive and good fortune coming into my life. However, there have times which were negative, karma if one chooses the label, showing me my choice of not cursing or wishing ill on someone who had harmed me was the right choice.
The best example of karma in motion was when I was unexpectedly terminated from my position as Administrative Assistant for a Church. The pastor who was my boss had graduated from seminary and was going through the Ordination Process to be Ordained Full Clergy in June of that year. The Church only does Ordination once a year and usually the person passes the first time. When I was terminated I was not given a reason for my termination.
Fortunately for me I have an amazing support system and was able to bounce back.
In the first six months after my departure the pastor did not pass her Ordination, had a fender bender which was bad enough the insurance opted to total her car, and broke her ankle in same accident. I wished no ill. Prayed no vengeance against my boss. I genuinely felt bad for her when I found out these things happened. She has since gone on to be ordained, gotten married and has children. Yet, at the time she wronged me, the Universe balanced the books.
For many years I believed in Serendipity instead of Synchronicity. Happy accidents. Luck. Those times were mainly during my teens. As I matured, studied Buddhism and became more conscious of my thoughts and actions Synchronicity started to make more sense.
The Secret and The Circle touch on a version of Synchronicity. Since the 1970’s, if not earlier, the idea of Positive Thinking has become a large, almost mainstream movement. Some mock the idea, some are fanatic about it, most do whatever they can to make money off of it.
People who are fanatical, as those who are vehement critics, both miss the mark. As a believer of a Middle Way and everything in moderation, taking the principle ideas of Synchronicity, The Secret, The Circle, and other teachings and using them to adapt my worldview is the best practice I have found. I do not go to the extreme of shunning every sick person or sitting on my butt day in and day out without activity toward making my wish a reality. At the same time I don’t dismiss the ideas as whimsical or vapid. Instead, I use the knowledge gained to guide my activity, making conscious choices in my actions, thoughts, and speech.
The most recent Synchronistic events happened in the last couple of weeks. Since I am currently unemployed I have been focusing my attention back on the *Bear and Hunter* book series I co-author. Though we are nowhere near being able to afford the making of an audiobook I like to do my research ahead of time. So I have been looking into what it takes and how much it would cost to record and distribute. One day I happened to catch a friend of mine at his home. We have not been able to get together and really talk for several months. He happened to be off and his house is on the main drag of the town. I drove by after going to the store and was on my way home. So I got to talk to him. At the same time I have started therapy online. I talk to a counselor over the phone. I have had three sessions at this point.
When I was a little girl my grandmother, as part of her ministry, would take me around to nursing homes and make me sing for old people. Fortunately for her I am a Leo so I wasn’t too traumatized by these memories. As I grew older I continued to show fearlessness in front of an audience. By high school I was doing vocal lessons and in band, choir and Speech and Drama. Quite by accident (a story for a later time) I discovered I was good at public speaking and people liked the sound of my speaking voice as well as my singing voice.
Keeping all of this in mind, earlier this week on Wednesday, I was talking to my therapist. She knows I am not working but my unemployment is not the issue I am currently tackling. As a completely unrelated tangent (again this was only the third time we had spoken on the phone) she asked me if I had thought about doing voice over work, i.e. recording for audio books. She says I have a pleasant voice which she would pay to listen to me read one of her favorite authors so I should give it a shot.
I was looking to find someone to be the voice of our book, not the other way around. Yet, this was an intriguing possibility my therapist had suggested. It has potential. The friend who I finally reconnected with the other day happens to do DJ work and has equipment and software to record and edit.
As I am writing this post, my friend is editing a sample of my recordings to post on ACX. In the span of a little over a week I had the thought of creating an audiobook, had it suggested I record audiobooks, and reconnected with a friend who has the resources to record my voice.
While this is the not the neon-lit eureka moment story to convince die hard skeptics of Synchronicity it is for me the latest example of how being conscious of the moment, of keeping a positive outlook, and of going with “gut-feeling” or “little voice” can lead to a new and good things in life.
Synchronicity is a concept introduced by the Analytical Psychologist Carl Jung in the early 1920s, full extrapolation in the 1950s, which states seemingly random events of one’s life, the “coincidences,” may have meaning even if there is no causality to those events. Causality meaning it broad terms everything has a cause. Nothing can happening without being cause. Synchronicity says X,Y,Z happened and it is all related even if it does not seem to have a connection at all.
This concept is not limited to Psychology. There are parallel theories in Quantum Physics and Mathematics. Chaos Theory, brought into the mainstream partly by the character of Ian Malcolm in Michael Crichton’s Jurassic Park, discusses how there is inherent order in a system of what appears to be complete chaos. Butterfly Effect, besides being a bad movie starring Ashton Kutcher, is an aspect of Chaos Theory. The famous line quoted to sum up the idea, “A Butterfly flaps its wings in China, a rainstorm hits in St. Louis, Missouri.” (Use of St. Louis, Missouri is ambiguous.)
What seems to be a random occurrence somehow affects something else completely unrelated half a world away.
The brain categorizes automatically everyday. It is one of the defense or regulatory mechanisms the mind deploys to use and store data and stimuli without becoming overwhelmed. Finding patterns helps us make sense of the world. When the brain cannot find a pattern or a reason behind something happening there is a momentary confusion, glitch.
When a person has a slight glitch in the information their brain receives, as to where it comes from or what it might mean, the person chooses to ignore it, writes it off as coincidence, or reads it as a sign from a High Power or Intuition. Most confused moments are not a big enough break in the mundane routine to cause much thought. Some claim the need to find causation or meaning or reasoning behind daily phenomenon is how Deities were created. Regardless, in order for the brain to function and people to continue to work, eat, breath everyday the glitches had to be minimized.
Beyond the divine, paranormal or psychology connectivity our brains need there is physical evidence of actually connectivity outside of our minds. Ecosystems, civilizations, humans and non humans are connected in many ways. We affect each other, share the same air, water, dirt. Genetically, structurally, chemically all things, living and non, share degrees.
So there is truth to patterns. There is truth to chaos and order. There is truth in connectivity.
Now, as for the acceptance or belief if Synchronicity the person’s belief systems come into play.
In the next part I will talk about my own experiences which have lead me to believe in Synchronicity. I also believe Synchronicity continues to work in my life to this day.
Summer is the time for vacations. It is a time to do lots of gardening work, lawn care and camping. It is a time to spend with family. For some it is a summer is a time of relaxation and getting over the winter “blues”.
So many people think of Summer time as being happy, energized, fun and relaxing. A break from the dreary. Seasonal Affect Disorder (SAD) most often settles in in the winter when days are shorter and it is harder to be outside and get the required amount of sunlight.
One of the people I follow JulieDibbleWrites has an amazing article about Summer Depression. It talks about the lesser seen side of Summer.
Since I lost my job I knew there was the risk of sliding into “blahs”. The “Blahs” I suppose are my version of The Oatmeal’s “Blerch”. It is the invasive thoughts of: I can do that later. I can do that tomorrow. There is no hurry. Darn it I didn’t realize how late it is so now I can’t make that phone call. It is also the total lack of thought. Not in a good mediative way but in a “How did I lose an hour?” way. The “Blahs” are the precursor to Depression.
In my situation I don’t have time or the money for a week long retreat somewhere to hit the reset button. So I made a plan. And today I am carrying out that plan.
No TV. Light Fasting for the day. Lots of water. Lots of herbal teas. Exercise. Spa Care. Editing in the evening.
Breaking this down. No TV is pretty self explanatory. Light Fasting: I made a smoothie of frozen peaches, yogurt and milk for this morning. I will have two glasses of low sodium V8 for the rest of the day. Lots of water is also self explanatory. Herbal teas I like include the Yogi Brand of tea. Take a walk down the country road I live on. Shower, face mask, body oil or lotion, and oil pull before brushing my teeth.
A cleansing and reset of the energies of the body. For me I might…might…add classical music at some point. However, silence is a great healer so perhaps I will skip the music completely today. Other things are general outside cleaning. The kitchen, my laundry. One correlation studies have discovered in people suffering from depression is the amount of clutter (books, papers, clothes) in the person’s environment. While clutter does not necessarily cause depression it seems to exacerbate the chronic symptoms.
My hope in doing all of this is to have a fruit rest of the week. Clear the cobwebs and refocus my energies where they need to be.
It is furthermore my hope for the readers of this post to find something or be inspired to do something to help make a positive change in their lives. Gratitude and the sharing of self care knowledge returns dividends.
I HAVE LEARNED THAT SUCCESS IS TO BE MEASURED NOT SO MUCH BY THE POSITION ONE HAS REACHED IN LIFE AS BY THE OBSTACLES HE HAS OVERCOME WHILE TRYING TO SUCCEED. -BOOKER T. WASHINGTON.
To be able to enjoy all the benefits of your strengths, you need to…
Know your area of excellence.
It sounds fairly simple right? You may be shocked to learn that many of us never really master our areas or expertise. We underlook these abilities. Each person, as a result of experiences and learning has some area of expertise that make them different from others; What is yours?
Choose the right field
Don’t go excitedly into a field just because you have heard that people are making it down that road. By now you should be familiar with the saying “choose what you love and you will never have to work a day in your life”. Well, its the simple truth.
Courage is Essential
Courage is the most important quality you can find, if you want to be happy and self-confident in life. Every thing great takes courage. It is not that people don’t know what to do, it is that they are afraid.
Each company or service usually has to develope a unique selling proposition right? In the same way you need to make yourself stand-out from the rest. Embrace your unique qualities fully.
For more awesome tips on CAPITALIZING ON YOUR STRENGTHS? get this book immediatly.
Several interesting topics are handled in a very simple manner. You cannot finish this book and stay the same. I have read it so much, I can practically recite some words, and of course, it has helped me cope better with growth and change.