Let’s Teach Girls to Be Somebodies

Lessons in life tend to have the nasty little habit of tiptoeing up to you and gut punching you out of nowhere. I liken it to a bit of a realization brick aimed straight for your noggin, (…to put it gently, of course). I’ve recently had the pleasure of testing out that hypothesis of mine, and spoiler alert: I was totally right.

I wasn’t looking for a lesson on society that fateful Monday. But that Monday I got one anyway, and it came in the form of a conversation with my  seven-year-old niece a few months ago that really got me thinking…And not in the way I was happy about.

That Monday, I came down from school, my niece and my dad waiting for me by the car. She was bouncing up and down, in her little first grader way, smiling ear to ear. She proudly displayed to me her newest artistic endeavor of a rocket ship hurdling through space. “You can have it, Hannie! Do you want it?”

“I would LOVE it! It’s beautiful…” I smiled at her and got into the car, being sure to dote on it even more, in my typical proud-aunt nature.

While driving down the road, we fell into our normal discussions. You know, how our days were, what new things she was learning at school… when, all of the sudden she proceeds to tell me about the newest developments in first grader gossip- a little boy in her class liked her! I giggled and made sure to remind her she was far too young to have a boyfriend. Wait until you’re older!

“Like when I’m sixteen?” She asked, inquisitively.


“How old are you, again, Hannie?”

I inwardly cringed, knowing exactly where this conversation was heading. “I’m 18.”

“Well, then why don’t YOU have a boyfriend? You’re 18, you should have one.”

“You have to wait for the right person,” I replied to her. “I haven’t found the right person yet.”

“Well, why don’t you? You’re 18.”

This persistent question, after all was said and answered, struck me the wrong way. This is a seven-year-old little girl that seemed absolutely bamboozled, not even being able to grasp why someone wouldn’t have a boyfriend at any given time. We kept talking and it seemed she could not fathom the idea of being older and not having a boyfriend.

As the conversation progressed, it seemed this little seven-year-old had already bought into the dreaded lie that many of us women tend to fall into: That we *gasp* need a guy in order to make us happy or complete. If you don’t see that as a societal issue, then it’s okay. We’ll work on that.

By my niece asking this seemingly innocent (yet quite intrusive) question, it revealed something very alarming. A worldview forming already, filled to the brim with all-too-serious implications.

If these young girls continue to believe what society, and perhaps the people around them are teaching them, this will not bode well. The belief that we are not anybody unless we have somebody is a destructive lie being circulated around the populace. A majority of growing up and becoming comfortable with who we are as a person comes from times where we are single. In all honesty, in order to have a healthy steady relationship later on, we must know ourselves and be independent in who we are.

I want to challenge head-on this belief of always needing somebody.

I believe instead of indoctrinating girls that the end-all in life is to settle for quantity of guys and not for quality, we need to tell girls to wait for someone that is worth their time. Knowing yourself and your value is the only way a relationship will really work in the end.

Your sole focus should be on being a somebody, not on being somebody’s. (That’s how the quote goes, right)? I love it.

Many times we love to blame society as a whole, instead of recognizing society is made up of us- everyday people. This means we must make a stand and do whatever we can do to help girls around us, and better ourselves, with the right beliefs.

All those who consist within society (news flash: that’s everyone) need to take a good look at the consequences of what we teach to our youth. Now, I’m only 18, but it’s taken years to realize some of these things for myself, realizing I can be completely content at whatever phase in life.

If we pressure girls to simply be in a relationship for the sole sake of being in a relationship, then we are more often than not pressuring them to settle for people who do not treat them right, and do not care for the greater good of them as individuals.

OR, on the other hand, it pressures girls that every friendship with a guy needs to be, or become, something more.

Not so. I’m a firm believer you need some brothers to have your back. No matter who makes fun of you for it…because, believe it or not, people can be pretty cruel about that, too.

So, how do we teach girls to be somebodies? Or better yet, how do we re-teach ourselves, after years of continually finding our value in a relationship status (or lack thereof)?

Well, first off…

We are responsible for our own happiness

Yes, you will find your person that you instantly just click with! BUT- at the end of the day- YOU alone are the person that can make or break you. YOU are responsible for your happy. Do not base it off of anything or anyone you can lose. And do not base your happiness off of whether you are in a relationship or not.  That will only lead to disappointment.

Know Your Worth

If nobody has ever told you before, you have value. And our value has nothing to do with how great we are at things, or how pretty we are, or the fact that we can juggle ten oranges at one time. (Good thing, because I can’t even juggle a schedule).

Our worth is completely independent from us. So, what does that mean? It means we have worth because we are humans, beautifully and wonderfully made. That’s apart from anything foolish you’ve ever done, or said, or thought. It’s easy to say that…but to act it and remind ourselves that?

Hm. That’s when things get tricky.

You are your own person

You may think this one is a no-brainer, but a lot rides on the full understanding of this belief.

We are individuals responsible for our own happiness, growth, and feelings of being fulfilled in life. If you are looking to find your identity in someone else, that’s not going to do you well. (Oops, I spilled the beans). Yes, our significant others should be people we feel happy around, and that encourage us to be better than we were yesterday. BUT- there is a distinct difference of finding someone that make you happy, and finding your happiness in people.

If we look for a relationship like this, what happens when the hard times come? We run away…because aren’t relationships supposed to be sunshine and roses? Nope. The ones worth it, are the ones worth fighting for.

Before getting to know anyone else, you should know YOURSELF

Before going into a relationship, we should always have a firm grasp on who we are, our values, our beliefs, our intentions…all of it. If you don’t have a good grasp on any of these things, you’re more than likely walking into a relationship blind as a bat.


Remember what I said about earlier- the whole pressure from outside sources thing? Well, guess what. IT’S A HUGE DEAL. So, don’t let yourself get pushed around into going along with something for the sake of obligation, or pressure. You’re in charge of your own life, dear. Remember, never go along with something just out of the feeling that you “need a boyfriend”.

Patience is key. And hey- guess what! I’m learning this, too! College is coming up, and I’m going to have to take my own advice. So, you’re not alone if you’re reteaching yourself that you’re a somebody without a somebody.

Quality over quantity.

I hope this post got you thinking and that we can spread this message to all you beautiful souls! (Hey, guess what, fellas)? Honestly, this message that I just said…not gender specific. I recommend it to all humans! Just felt that it was on my heart to write this.



Curious about the blog this post originated from? Just click that nifty ol’ link provided below!



The Rooms

In the halls of discontentment

In the crowded spaces of resentment

Are these cloth coverings of protection?

Because of our wounds of rejection?


We are all mummied up

Spilling this blessed cup

Blocking our vision because of these cloths

We are could-have-been-butterflies moths


When will we allow our ugliness to shine?

That’s where mess and glory allow the stars to align

(C) Carly Wiggins 2018

If You’re Passing through the Waters…

I don’t know why I had the urge to write this tonight. It kind of washed over me, like something I knew I had to do. I mean- I haven’t written a blog post in months, but tonight…it’s something I’m doing.

I hope this blog post meets you right where you’re at. Maybe you’re feeling great- I’m glad! Maybe you’re not feeling anything in particular. Maybe you’re feeling the whole world crash around you, and you don’t know why…or you know exactly why.

The thing is, I don’t know you’re situation. All I know is that when we go through heartbreaking moments, moments when we have little to no peace, moments when we are being challenged in all we are and all we stand for, we often feel like the pain will never end, that we’ll just be stuck in it forever. We feel like we are alone in our suffering, and that no one understands. How wrong we are, my friend.

The truth is, there are many of us who feel the same way, we just never speak up. We feel that people won’t look at us the same way when they see us in our struggling moments. Maybe that is the case, but I want to tell you something…nothing in your life happens on accident. I don’t know your worldview, what you believe, what you put your hope in. But I trust that God has an infinitely bigger plan for you than you do yourself right now.

And because nothing happens on accident, as I stated earlier…your story, however unique and tough that may be, was meant to happen just the way it did. Maybe to grow you as an individual, maybe so that you can be challenged in your beliefs, maybe so you can use your pain and lessons to help other people who are going through similar, maybe we won’t completely know why! But-we can take comfort that nothing is going to go to waste!

These waves that are tossing you about tonight, they aren’t meant to drown you, my friend. They’re meant to make you a better swimmer.

So, no. You aren’t alone tonight if you feel like you’re barely getting by. You’re not alone in all those tough moments that no one else sees, and all the pain no one else knows you endure. You’re only being made stronger by the trials that you are going through, and while each wave takes us, we can have full confidence that we will be growing through it all.

Isaiah 43:1-2 says,

“…Fear not, for I have redeemed you;
    I have called you by name, you are mine.
When you pass through the waters, I will be with you;
    and through the rivers, they shall not overwhelm you;
when you walk through fire you shall not be burned,
    and the flame shall not consume you.”

When we place our trust not in ourselves, but onto the God who formed us and takes care of us, we are made that much stronger by His power. The chains that once kept us from being free are released, and we can live happier, more joyful lives, trusting the Lord with all our cares. He promises you won’t drown. He will lift you up through it all.

Your trusty blogger (who seriously needs to find time to blog more),



Curious about the blog this post originated from? Feel free to check it out 🙂


SIWO Global News 3rd June 2018 #48

Knowledge is Wealth

Remembrance for London Bridge victims

The Remembrance Service was held at Southwark Cathedral, for the victims of the London Bridge terrorist attack last year. After the service there was a minute silence at Borough Market where further attacks had taken place. Relatives and friends gathered together to pray, sing and remember their lost loved ones. Traders in the market were resolute in their determination to carry on and not be intimidated by the experience.

Volcan de Fuego erupts in Guatemala-west of the

Volcan de Fuego meaning Volcano of Fire erupted on Sunday about 7pm in Guatemala. Situated 25 miles south west of the capital, Guatemala City, the ash and covered everything very quickly. The lava came down onto their villages and streets before anyone had a chance of escape. 7 people are reported dead and fears exist for two villages. El Rodeo, which is feared buried under ash and lava and La Libertad cannot be reached.

Protesters on night vigil against Tax rises in Jordan

The Jordanian capital Amman saw the 3rd night of vigil against tax rises and austerity measures backed by the International Monetary Fund ( IMF). Protesters were faced with Police who used tear gas on them and blocked roads leading to the Cabinet Office. Shouting anti-government slogans, the protesters called on King Abdullah to sack the Prime Minister Hani Mulli.

In provincial towns like Maan, protesters have been burning tyres on the highway and scuffles with police ensued. Police have used tear gas over there too. Fears that these measures will affect the poor and middle class more energised these protests. Prices would rise, especially as subsidies for bread had been cut and fuel prices is set to increase while salaries did not. King Abdullah intervened to freeze the fuel prices.

Inspirational Story

Good people and supportive teachers

Zoe Starliife was in her fifth grade when her school backpack was stolen from her Dad’s car. She was heart-broken for lost school work and the notebooks full of completed stories and others she was developing. The tests rolled down her face for up to an hour.

Next day she went to school empty-handed and told her teacher what had happened. Her 5th grade teacher, Miss Taylor was sweet, kind and understanding and gave her a new folder. She even wrote Zoe’s name in a special font on a paper for the front of the folder. Zoe was meant to colour it in but she didn’t quite get to doing it ever. Why?

Later that day, Miss Taylor received a phone call from the principal’s office. She announced, “Zoe, a miracle has happened and your folder has been found. Zoe run to the office for her folder. Although the thief had her backpack, he had emptied it of all its precious items. The person who found it and brought it to the school also left an envelope with $20 in it saying, “I’m sorry all your stuff got stolen, I hope this helps.”

Zoe was even more shocked and pleased to get the money, left for her to buy more school stuff. A kindness and reassuring act to cement her faith in goodness of people and teachers. She looks at her name on the piece of paper and though it is not coloured in, it is a reminder of Miss Taylor. I am sure there are a million like Mis Taylor and the person who found Zoe’s backpack and gave her a gift of $20.


Content: BBC news. World news. Sunny Skyz.


Be careful Be joyful Be peaceful

SIWO Global News 29th May 2018 #43

(For sharing discussing liking comments)

Britain’s biggest family has 21st baby on the way

Sue, 42, and Noel, 47, Radford are expecting their 21st baby, a girl.  Sue made the announcement on Instagram.  After their 20th baby  in September, Sue said it was their last baby.  The family own a bakery company and don’t take State Benefits except Child Benefit.

Their eldest is Chris at 28-years old, the older siblings help their parents with cleaning, cooking and looking after younger ones.  They live in a ten-bedroom house in Morecambe. Their Channel 4 reality show has been running for many years.

Fatal shooting in Liege, Belgium

Two police officers and a bystander was shot by a man in a terrorist attack.  Soraya Belkacemi and Lucille Garcia were attacked from behind with a knife and the gun man took their handguns and shot them.  He kept shooting at cars and shot 22-year old Cyril Vangrieckei deed too.  He also tied to kidnap a female cleaner at a school but failed because the police disabled Belgian Benjamin Herman and his wicked plan.

Westminster Abbey’s new Diamond Jubilee Gallery to open

In 700 years the roof space of the Westminster Abbey has not been opened to the public.  Replicas of the Crown Jewels and effigies of past royals are among the displays.  In 2015, while planning a museum, among the debris dug from the floor of the roof items from the 15th century were discovered.  They are all on exhibition here and it is anticipated to be popular.

Inspirational Story

Pilotes Volontaires

Jose Benevente and Benoit Micolon spent all their money, their total life savings to buy an airplane.  This would help them rescue the people crossing the Mediterranean in  the small dingy boats.  They did not want to wait to apply for finance.

With 25 years experience working for the Red Cross, Benevente knew the business.  The two met when getting their pilot’s licence and their chat turned to the plight of Syrian refugees.

They refused to believe or justify the high fatalities and with their airplane they spot boats in difficulties.


From BBC news, Channel 4, Sky news, https://www.goodnewsnetwork.org


Be careful Be joyful Be peaceful


Song ‘Live Your Myth’ by Michel Montecrossa (audio)

Michel Montecrossa - Spirit of Woodstock 2006

Listen to Michel Montecrossa’s Song ‘Live Your Myth’

Michel Montecrossa Homepage: http://www.MichelMontecrossa.com

To stay updated follow the Michel Montecrossa Blog: https://michelmontecrossaliveblog.wordpress.com

Image above: Michel Montecrossa on stage at the Spirit of Woodstock Festival in Mirapuri (Italy), this year the Festival will take place from 25th – 29th July 2018 (www.SpiritOfWoodstockFest.com)

Song ‘In Deinem Leben Bin Ich Da – In Your Life I Am There’ by Michel Montecrossa (audio & lyrics)

Listen here to Michel Montecrossa’s New-Topical-Song ‘In Deinem Leben Bin Ich Da – In Your Life I Am There’ and read the song lyrics below.

Michel Montecrossa Homepage: MichelMontecrossa.com


In deinem Leben bin ich da
für die Liebe, das Gute und das Schöne.
In your life I am there
for the love, the good and the beautiful.

In deinem Leben bin ich da
um eins zu sein mit dir für immer.
In your life I am there
to be one with you forever.

In deinem Leben bin ich da
um mit dir eine gute Zukunft zu bauen.
In your life I am there
to build with you a good future.

In deinem Leben bin ich da
um mit dir Frieden auf die Welt zu bringen.
In your life I am there
to bring peace with you on the earth.

Mit unseren Leben sind wir da
für die Liebe, das Gute und das Schöne.
With our lives we are there
for the love, the good and the beautiful.

Hm, Hm, Hm

In deinem Leben bin ich da
um zu leben das lebendige Wunder.
In your life I am there
to live the living wonder.

Lyrics & Music: Michel Montecrossa, © Mira Sound Germany

Preview of Michel Montecrossa’s ‘The Dream And Its Magic’ New-Topical, Cyberrock & Dance-Electronica Concert

Stay up to date on Michel Montecrossa’s Blog: https://michelmontecrossaliveblog.wordpress.com

Explore Michel Montecrossa’s art, music, movies, quotes and more on Twitter: https://twitter.com/Montecrossa and on his facebook page

Listen to songs (various genres) by Michel Montecrossa and Mirakali on Audiomack: http://www.audiomack.com/artist/mirasoundgermany

Image above: Michel Montecrossa live on stage at the Spirit of Woodstock Festival in Mirapuri (Italy), this year the Festival will take place from 25th – 29th July 2018 (www.SpiritOfWoodstockFest.com)