Me looking up.

We Millennials Don’t Want Jobs, We Want Lives

Me looking up.

We’re in the year 2018, and the topic on ‘Millennials are hard to manage’ is still getting thrown around. As a Millennial myself, I’m often hearing complaints from business owners and executives about our work ethic, such as we’re hard to manage, we’ve got no commitment and no drive whatsoever. Furthermore, there are many articles out there saying that Millennials just won’t work, we’re lazy, and think we’re entitled to a job.

We get it. Back in those days where employers had the “take it or leave it” attitude and employees had the “deal with it” attitude with just about every job, people were happy to have a job and they did whatever they had to do to keep it. That’s an understandable view, however, it’s also largely incorrect – time is changing.


Millennials Want Lives

Like it or not, Millennials are needed for the success and sustainability of your business. If you want to attract and retain the right talent, you need to start thinking fundamentally different and face a new reality. Don’t solve the issue by offering more interesting jobs. Millennials don’t want jobs. They want lives.

According to Jamie Gutfreund (Chief Strategy Officer) of the Intelligence Group, Millennials will represent 40% of the total workforce by 2020. Let this sink in for a moment.

Additional important findings on Millennials are:

  • 64% say it’s a priority for them to make the world a better place.
  • 72% want to be their own boss, but if they do have to work for a boss, 79% want their boss to be more as a coach or mentor to them.
  • 88% prefer a collective work-culture instead of a competitive one.
  • 74% want flexible work schedules.
  • And 88% want work-life integration where work and life are blended together, which isn’t the same as work-life balance.

Millennials are strategically searching for opportunities to invest in an organisation where they can make a positive difference, preferably one that itself makes a positive difference. This is a certain lifestyle centred around freedom in making choices for themselves and showing a sense of independence.

With the technology nowadays, anyone can do anything with the right tools and aspirations. It has never been easier to work for ourselves or any other organisation, no matter where we live.


Redefining Work

Instead of focusing on squeezing whatever you can out of the Millennial workforce before they move on in two to three years, you need to stop and listen. We’re not shy about telling you what we want. Our way of looking at the world and life is often misunderstood by older generation managers.

We aren’t entitled – we are empowered. We want more out of life, and we will get a lot of what we are seeking. This doesn’t make us better or worse, it just means that life is different now. We are growing and evolving. We don’t buy into the concept of sitting at an empty promise desk for eight to ten hour a day trying to look busy for a boss. We see a bigger picture, leveraged by technology. This means the ability to add meaningful value from anywhere at any time.

Regardless of what you think you can get out of Millennials in the short run, it is outdone by the benefits of a long-term relationship filled with ambition, creativity, collaboratives, passion, tech-savviness, and cultural awareness.

So, here are four ways to attract and retain the best of Millennials for your organisation.


1. Creating An Entrepreneurial Culture

72% of Millennials want to be their own boss. This means working when, where and how you like as long as results are delivered. At the same time, it offers flexibility and freedom, and removes discussions around the dead concept of work-life balance. With technology nowadays, work and life look the same. Being your own boss not a job, it is a lifestyle.

If you embrace the Millennial entrepreneurial spirit and build an internal culture to support, rather than step all over it, they don’t feel the need to leave your organisation to fulfil this desire. Anyhow, results are all that really matters at the end. By giving them the flexibility and freedom, where possible, to be their own boss with a focus fully on results. In long-term, this produces greater employee engagement, loyalty and ultimately better business results.


2. Having A One-Team Mentality

88% of Millennials prefer to collaborate instead of competing with others. There are still many organisations whose employees spend more time competing internally against themselves instead of their external competition. Millennials don’t want to work in such an environment, but they’re interested in working together to make the world a better place. An organisation that truly embraces and lives a “one-team” mentality will attract and retain the best of Millennials.


3. Caring For People’s Success

A step towards attracting and retaining the best of the Millennial workforce and organisational improvement is the recognition that people’s lives matter. Organisations are not special, but how they care about the success and health of their people is. It’s important for organisations to understand that creating a successful life for its people can maximize their engagement and business results. This ultimately leads to their ability to change the world.

Supporting the life success of your employees requires leaders and managers who take on the role of strong coaches and mentors. They should focus on both short- and long-term career and personal development. 79% of Millennials say this is important to them.


4. Communicating Higher Reasons

It’s key that both the Millennials and you know how the required work is having a positive impact on the world. This thoughtful consideration is what will excite them and the next-generation workforce and where true value adds up when it comes to engaging people, fulfilling purposes, and driving business results.

Most businesses are not established with the purpose to make money. They started for a higher reason. Know your industry and organisation’s purpose. Know how you make the world a better place. If you can’t connect the dots, Millennials will look elsewhere. 64% of Millennials say it’s a priority for them to make the world a better place.


We Are Who We Are

If leaders and managers effectively communicate and align both organisational and employee purposes, organisations will experience greater employee and customer engagement, and greater business success.

We Millennials are interested in work; we are not lazy; we don’t think the world owes us a living; we want more out of life and we want to leave the world a better place because we live.

Originally published at

  • What is your opinion on Millennials?
  • What is your opinion on organisations nowadays?
  • How is your experience with Millennials/organisations?

Have your say in the comment section 🙂

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Motivational Thoughts

Most fear centres around losing something you value the most. The more you develop non-attachment, the less vulnerable you will be.

Every night, before you sleep, give away your possessions and desires back to God. Make Him responsible for your well being and security. ..

In the morning you can have the responsibility back again if you want…

Live your life intelligently and use your mind skillfully… Observe the play of the mind indifferenrly. Whatever happens, remain detatched. By practising discipline in our lives, we can easily achieve success.

Flat lay photo of a journal, glasses, key, mug and fabric.

A Better And Simplified Gratitude Journal

Flat lay photo of a journal, glasses, key, mug and fabric.Throughout the last decade, psychology researchers identified practices that can help us gain great social, mental, and physical health benefits that come from giving thanks. These benefits are particularly earned in the practice of gratitude journaling.

Studies have drawn a range of striking benefits to something as simple as writing down the things which we’re grateful for. Some of these benefits include better sleep, fewer symptoms of illness, and more happiness among grownups and children alike. Sounds amazing, right?


What Got Me Into Gratitude Journaling

Two weeks ago, I wrote and published ‘See If You Can Catch Yourself Complaining’ from the idea that I caught myself complaining a lot for the WHOLE week. I had a lot on my mind and I wasn’t in the best mood. I knew that I had to find a solution, and the first thing that came to my mind is gratitude journaling.

That’s because a few of my readers responded to my blogs about how a gratitude journal has helped them in certain event or circumstances in their lives. Thinking back, a good friend bought me an all-in-one self-journal once. I had not found the need for it back then, but now, I decided it was time to put it to good use.

Basically, I have to write down my schedule, goals, and there is a small section where I have to write down three things I am grateful for in the morning and in the evening, every day for 13 weeks.


From Easy To Overwhelming

On day one, it was easy. I could fill in everything, from my schedule and goals to what I am grateful for. All done.

On day two, I struggled. I had no issues with filling in my schedule and goals, but I struggled with what to be grateful for. I thought to myself “am I this unappreciative in life?” It even held me back from having my typical productive day.

On day three, I was so done with it. Again, I could fill in my schedule and goals, but my mind went off on its own as my eyes kept staring at the blanks of the gratitude section. I could not think of anything to be grateful for.

After that, I continued journaling while looking into different gratitude journals, ranging from free downloadable PDF files to paid physical journals up to 30 dollars. Most of the journals, I had to fill in on a daily basis separated in the morning, afternoon and evening. Seriously, morning, afternoon and evening? Like how? Isn’t that overkill?

I felt overwhelmed by it and I got fed up because it felt like a daily task that consumes a lot of my time each day.


What Researchers Found Out

When I was digging into the research, I found that gratitude journals don’t always work. Some studies showed incredible benefits, others not so much. To understand why, I took a closer look at the research by Robert Emmons, perhaps the world’s leading expert on the science of gratitude according to ‘Greater Good Magazine.’

Emmons is a professor of psychology at the University of California and the founding editor-in-chief of ‘The Journal of Positive Psychology.’ He is the author of the books ‘Thanks!: How Practicing Gratitude Can Make You Happier’ and ‘Gratitude Works!: A 21-Day Program for Creating Emotional Prosperity.

Emmons shared these research-based tips for gaining the greatest psychological rewards from keeping a gratitude journal:

  1. Make a firm conscious decision. Research by psychologists suggests that it is more effective if you first make the conscious decision to become happier and more grateful, instead of just going through the motions. Your motivation to become happier plays a role in the value of journaling.
  2. Depth over width. Elaborating in detail about one particular thing for which you’re grateful carries more benefits than a superficial list of many things.
  3. Focus on “to who” instead of “I am.” Focusing on people to whom you are grateful has more of an impact than focusing on things for which you are grateful.
  4. Subtract, instead of adding up. An effective way of stimulating gratitude is to reflect on what your life would be like without certain blessings, instead of adding up all those good things.
  5. Savour surprises. Try to record events that were unexpected or surprising, as these tend to cause stronger levels of gratitude.
  6. Don’t overdo it. Writing once or twice per week is more beneficial than daily journaling. In fact, one study by Lyubomirsky and her colleagues found that people who wrote in their gratitude journals once a week for six weeks described boosts in happiness; people who wrote three times per week didn’t.


For You

Based on Emmons’s research, I want to put together a better and simplified gratitude journal. I believe that writing down on paper helps to organise our thoughts, accept our own experiences and put them in a clear context. The basic practice is straightforward, and the entries are supposed to be brief. Just a single sentence will do, ranging from the daily “he/she made me coffee,” to the uplifting “friends coming over,” to the undying “Michael Jackson.”

On last thing I want to leave you with: Emmons explains that “there is no one right way to do it.” There’s no evidence that journaling at the start of the day is any more effective than journaling before you go to bed.

You don’t need to buy a fancy gratitude journal to record your entries in. What’s important is to start. Start the habit of paying attention to gratitude-inspiring events in your life. Look a little deeper for the good and you might find yourself an abundance of blessings.

Originally published at

If you would like to receive a better and simplified gratitude journal, click here and scroll to the end to sign up and I will send it digitally to your inbox. I aim to have a final product at the start of October.

  • Do you keep a gratitude journal?
  • How often do you write in it?
  • What benefits do you gain from gratitude journaling?

Have your say in the comment section 🙂

AND if you like this blog, don’t forget to Like and Share, and subscribe to my Weekly Newsletter.

But do you even know your WHY???

This is why

And this is why

Why I do what I do

Why I say what I say

Why I dance as I do

Why I cry so sad


And indeed this is why

Why I share it all

Why I love so bad

Why I hurt so deep

Why I heal so slow

And yes this is why

Why I long to help

Why I want to bare

Why I need to show

Why I can relate with that flow

To thyself be true

Leave me to my guise and grace

That may help another soul

Part of the master plan

By faith and not fear

It ain’t easy but it’s mine

Why I am the way I am

And that is why

Why I’ll keep being me

Why I’ll go on bare

Why I’ll speak it loud

Why I’ll write as it flows

(c) Marie Abanga

p.s: I have been sharing how I feel and look at life for the past weeks, and I really appreciate the likes and hopefully the fact that many are inspired and motivated by what I share through my poems. I try to be the best version of myself, and today I share in verse form once more, MY WHY… be inspired and motivated once more as we begin our wrap up days of September (oh my times flies), to find or be true to your why and Shine lol

Do you think it’s best to heal as we live or not really?

Healing-From-the-Inside-OutHealing and Living

To Heal we have to Live

To Live we have to Heal

Never heard of a dead Healing

Nor a Living not craving Healing

Healing is often letting go

Letting go of expectations

Letting go of painful emotions

Letting go of tough feelings

Letting go of unmet desires

Living is loving your life

Living is wanting to be

Living is embracing the now

Living is gratitude for the gift

Living is doing your best 

To Live therefore, we have to Heal

If we don’t Heal, we can’t be us

If we don’t Heal, we can’t embrace the now

If we don’t Heal, we can’t be grateful for the gift

If we don’t Heal, we can’t do our best

With Love and Forgiveness 

Faith and Hope

We can find inner Peace

We can Heal and Live

We can Live and Heal

(c) Marie Abanga, 2017

p.s: I used to think the best way to carry on with my life was to ‘let things be’ and brave on. Bury them, not feel, face or even fight you know…I didn’t want to upset anyone not especially myself…I just wanted to be happy hahaha but when it all came crushing I started all over and then it gradually dawned on me there is no real and sustainable happiness without healing the best we can as we live on. Be inspired and motivated us all … remember it’s Ok either way lol…

Here is to happy weekend

A couple at the beach enjoying the sunset.

Allow The Right Passion To Become Your Purpose

A couple at the beach enjoying the sunset.For two weeks, I have been looking into the topic of “follow your passion,” whether it’s a good idea or just a dumb advice.

Passion is defined as a strong feeling toward an activity that people like, that they find important, and in which they invest time and energy.

What is unknown to most people, including myself, is that we believe that passion is the moving cause, when really, passion is an effect. Cal Newport explains in his book ‘So Good They Can’t Ignore You: Why Skills Trump Passion in the Quest for Work You Love’ why “follow your passion” is bad advice.

Instead, Newport points out that developing rare and valuable skills is what leads to a life of passion, not the other way around.


The Half Truth Of “Follow Your Passion”

From this, an interesting topic surfaced that is hardly ever discussed. The half-truth that we are all familiar with is that you should seek passion. The other hidden half is that you should avoid passion. These two types of passion are proposed as harmonious and obsessive in an early study.

Unfortunately, the type of passion that most people pursue is the obsessive type that would turn lives upside down due to selfishness. You exclusively focus on finding your passion and only think about yourself. But if you change your focus towards a harmonious passion, which is developing skills and abilities for the purpose of helping others, you will experience a passionate and purposeful life.


Harmonious And Obsessive

Harmonious passion comes from your intuition and intrinsic ambition controlled by you, which is your mind, your conscious. According to research, it is the result of intentional purpose and goal-oriented behaviour. Harmonious passion improves all other areas of your life, making you a better person. Your behaviour and sense of purpose are the drivers and you continually experience healthier outcomes.

Obsessive passion is the complete opposite. You are being driven and controlled by your unconscious, meaning that your body has taken over your mind and is seeking dopamine, social acceptance, or self-esteem. This type of passion comes and goes and has an unclear purpose. It only feels good in the moment, conflicts with other areas of your life, and often leads to an addiction.

Both types of passion have its ups and downs. The downs of obsessive passion come from regret and abandonment, while the downs from harmonious passion come from questioning if what you’re doing is still the right thing, learning and growing.

There are clear signs whether you’re harmonious or obsessive passionate. Here are five questions that can help you identify your passion type:


1. How do you spend your free time?

You can either distract yourself or you are focussed on your purpose.

Here’s a relatable example: If you check your phone regularly throughout the day without conscious thought or choice, then your body is controlling your mind. Your body is seeking a dopamine release, which controls your hand to grab for your phone through its memorised habitual behaviour, and your mind needs to catch up. Does this sound familiar?

Of course, you won’t be in that state for the whole day. After some time, you wake-up to what you’re doing and go back to consciously guiding your behaviour, only waiting for it to happen again.

However, when you have a harmonious passion and powerful purpose, you spend your free time thinking about what you want. You don’t seek distraction from reality, but you accept it. You’re far more aware of everything around you, especially the people and their emotional states.

As a result, you become increasingly emotionally intelligent as your harmonious passion grows from connecting with and helping other people. The more you embrace a life of true learning and change, the better you’ll use your time.


2. How do you feel when not working on it?

With harmonious passion, you don’t regret spending quality time with family and enjoying other hobbies or interests. You know that your passion is only enhanced when the other areas of your life are firm. The only moment of regret is when you allow distractions to take you from what you know you’d rather be doing.

On the other hand, if you have obsessive passion, you are willing to waste huge amounts of time on distraction, and then in a hectic and impulsive state, you dive into your passion. The only thing that matters to you now is getting that dopamine boost. Obsessive passion is all about you. It’s selfish, and in the long run, it leads to a short creative life due to increasing conflicts both in the mind and body.


3. Are you being genuine or faking to impress others?

It does not matter how successful you become or think you’ve become, you should be authentic and humble to all people. By remaining down-to-earth, you make yourself noticed to even the most successful people in the world.

Dan Sullivan, the founder of ‘Strategic Coach’, says that it takes him less than ten minutes to know if someone’s core motive is growth or greed – it’s too obvious. No matter how successful you become, you should always strive to love and serve the people who need you. The people you call family and friends.


4. Are you deprived of sleep because of the many “what if” thoughts?

Quality sleep reflects a clear conscious. When you live your life in a conscious way, you will rest well. Your sleep will be healthful, and your dreams will be rich.

Sleep is potentially the most productive time of a person’s day, and I can’t mention it often enough. It’s when the brain does some of its best creative work, but if you can’t get into deep sleep and if you aren’t using your sleep for healing and learning, then your days won’t be what they could be. Trust me on this.


5. Is your life getting better?

Most important question: Is your life getting better? If it’s not and it gets even worse with time, then you either have an obsessive passion or you need to fix your behaviour.

When you have a harmonious passion, your life continually gets better. Your life continually becomes more focused on the things which matter most. You realise that most things don’t matter at all, and you have high enough standards to avoid most of what the world has to offer.


Make powerful decisions that remove options that are merely distractions. Be confident enough to burn your bridges, make true commitments and stick to them. Start investing in yourself and be bold.

Originally published at

  • What is your passion?
  • How did you find your passion?
  • Were you in an obsessive passion before you found your harmonious passion?

Have your say in the comment section 🙂

AND if you like this blog, don’t forget to Like and Share, and subscribe to my Weekly Newsletter.

Work, work, work

Sorry I missed yesterday. I did not do a recreational walk. But there is good reason.

I now work at a Hotel as Housekeeper. I have to be there at 8 am. With Autumn and Winter coming on sunrise isn’t until 6:30ish. While I get home between 2 pm and 5 pm I am A) Sore and tired B) Have other things to do and C) Soon sunset will be too early to walk after work.

This does not mean I am giving up my daily walks. I will still walk on my days off and on the treadmill. Though pictures of my time/distance will not be as interesting.

Right now though is still a physical adjustment to the work. I ran my walking app only during my shift yesterday, it registered almost 6 miles of walking. My hours yesterday were 8 am to 2:30 pm. The app does not measure all the bending, lifting, stretching and other physcial movement I do.

I have done Housekeeping before. I have been a server. When I worked food service at Target I not only walked but lifted frozen boxes of breadsticks among other things.

I have worked office jobs as well. What I have learned is I need to work the physically demanding jobs. I feel better overall when I do.

Got off subject a bit there. Point of this rambling is I will try and post pictures of daily walks as often as possible…they may be futher apart or not as interesting.