Are you ‘the’ Difficult Spouse?

Are you the difficult spouse?
Real relationships are not perfect and perfect relationships are not real !!

If you are a wife or husband and many occasions you realize , you are disappointed because of the other…..and think the other is the ‘difficult spouse’…. then this article is for you.I am thankful to you if you feel  the article is resonating with your thoughts and is helpful.

There are two types of marriages.( Marriages are made in heaven.Is itn’t ?)

Love marriage

Arranged marriage ( In most of the eastern countries )

Irrespective of the type of marriage,both the man and the woman of his love have to adjust with each other in order to be compatible.

In fact, post marriage life is full of challenges and it exposes the couple to myriads of issues.

But we all know the truth.One day or other both the man & the woman have to face unpleasant situation of opposing & different opinions and views, in matters of their day-to-day ‘living together’

The reality of the so-called colorful future has to show its fangs,since it is waiting to strike first !

Once the misunderstanding happens and prolongs….There are two options available

1.You decided you are not going to adjust at all…then Apply for divorce and probably matter can come to end to the mutual satisfaction,and thus ending the very discussion I am trying to make.

2.If the above choice is not the option due to so many other pressing matters,( which is a bit lengthy topic, for some other time discussion )and you both have to live together,and you have to go along with the spouse, thus making the ‘misunderstanding part’ useless and even unnecessary.

Why to quarrel at all in the first place ?

Now it’s time to think.

1.Realize that ‘ married happily ever after ‘ is an illusion ( Maya )
2.Understand that Wife & Husband belong to the same team and they have to work together for the success of their married life

“Two are better than one because they have a good return for their labor. For if either of them falls, the one will lift up his companion. But woe to the one who falls when there is not another to lift him up”.

Ecclesiastes4.9-10

3.We often hurt our spouse knowingly or unknowingly.Do you know the solution ? Ask for ‘forgiveness’ whole heartedly.
4.When Anger or Helplessness happens to one of you…just take a deep breath and allow the heated moment to pass.Don’t forget.. time’s the greatest healer.
5.Remember marriage is a vow,before God.

Now it’s time to put the following into action.

Don’t allow discord to remain ,not more than one minute,and your anger not more than a second.

Don’t be bossy and do not take one another for granted.

Respect individual feelings & make mutual adjustments

Make sincere effort to avoid jealousy and Ego & revenge,be the first to make the other win the argument.( small trick I tell you…remember whoever does most talking is the one at fault )

Don’t deprive each other of your needs just to take the revenge

Keep communicating,by which I mean try to find where exactly things are going wrong.

Constantly tell to yourself….

Forget & forgive,

I can go also wrong,

live & let live,

let us make best,out of the difficult situation,

I trust you.

Finally

A happy marriage is the union of two good forgivers – Robert Quillen

A perfect marriage is just two imperfect people who refuse to give up on each other.-yourtango.com

A marriage is a like a house. When a light bulb goes out, you do not go and buy a new house, you fix the light bulb. Happy Wives Club

Marriage is meant to keep people together, not just when things are good, but particularly when they are not. That’s why we take marriage vows, not wishes. Ngina Otiende

I asked an old man “which is more important? To love or to be loved?”
Old man replied “which is more important to a bird, the left wing or the right wing?
– MarriageHumor, Instagram

Any thoughts on how not to be the Difficult Spouse ? What is your experience with your better half so far ?

Pixabay,Curiano.com

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Do you know what makes you so special?






There is something about you
That makes you so special;
Do you know what it is?
I don't know what it is;
But it is real;
I feel it;
And want to know;
I first thought it was something
In your eyes,
Because when you look at me,
I am spellbound;
But now I find it is beyond your eyes;
Just thinking of you
Sets my heart ablaze;
And the fire burns so hot;
I can't say it's a question of beauty;
Sure, that beauty you have;
That is captivating;
But I think it is deeper than
Physical beauty;
 I am still to put my finger on it.
What I am sure of is
There 's something about you,
That makes you so special.
Maybe someone can help me out.
If you know, please, tell me.
Your presence gives joy
Hardly experienced else where.

Who understands love?

Who understands love?
How does it operate?
I don’t know;
Its operation intrigues me;
Why we love one person,
And not the other,
Bids my imagination;
And all we say is
Love is blind;
One man’s meat,
Another man’s poison;
You see somebody
You cannot resist;
Asked why,
You cannot explain;
Such is the way of love;
Hard to understand;
Sweet it is,
But easy also
To turn the other way;
From sweet to bitter;
From joy to pain;
It is tender;
And needs handling with care.
That is how I understand love.

Play the drum

Tell me why you broke her heart;
And how you saw a snake
Disappearing into a hole;
For all I know is to share;
You don't share enough;
And what can be better shared 
Than your free blessings from
On high?
That said, I m flying off
To write a sweet, lovely, poem
For my school annual magazine;
I hope many people will read it;
And get the most out of it.
About what we were saying,
The focus of our discussion,
Which I don't want to call a chat;
Was nothing but a heart-to-heart, 
Communication
Which still has not said exactly
Why you broke her heart.
If you give an answer or exlanation, 
A drum will be played for you.

I keep hoping

Do you remember how close
You and I were?
I do remember
With a lot of nostalgia;
We were inseparable;
Like identical twins;
Now, we are world’s apart;
And nothing I can do;
You stopped me.
I have always wished
That we got back there;
We are not yet there;
I keep hoping that one day
Your heart will again open
To me;
And we will board
A new plane to a new moon.