celebrating love and marriage

Hands in gloves, couples marched;
As if to the alter on wedding day;
From all the corners of the city
They came;
Tall and short;
Fat and thin;
The reason,
To celebrate valentine’s day;
To some, it was World Marriage Day;
Both the gift of love;
What a joy, indeed!

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Why some marriages are terrible

While some people bless the angel
Who led them to the one
Who has become their partner for life,
Others curse the devil
Who brought them into contact
With the one
Who has become
Their partner for life.

Some marriages are made in heaven,
Some marriages are made in hell;
Some marriages are made mid-way,
Between heaven and hell.
Marriages made in heaven bring joy;
Marriages made in hell bring sorrow.
Marriages made mid-way between heaven and hail
Bring both joy and sorrow.

You could have been wiser?

You ask:

“How could I have known

You  would be such a terrible husband?

How could I have known

you would be such a drunk?

Such an irresponsible husband?

Such a wife-hitter?”

You make me laugh.

How could you not have known?

Where did you keep your eyes?

Where did you keep your head?

Where did you keep your thinking cap?

You could have been wiser.

You did not have to be too believing.

Yes!

When it comes to making a choice

For marriage,

You do not have to be too believing;

You must learn to discern;

To look beyond the surface.

Not everyone who says ‘I love you’

Really does.

Do not be too blinded by what you see as love

To see

The warning signs which are always there.

Did you turn to God to guide you?

He will always do.

I answer your question then

To say:

You could have been wiser.

Let no one dupe you.

Let no one take you for a ride.

Pay heed to the warning signs;

And you will not say

Had I known.

Are you afraid of marriage?

Are you afraid of marriage?

The fear of marriage to many young ones,

Is a real fear;

“What makes you fear?

What’s the matter with marriage?” Asked the old man!

“Afraid of what my marriage will turn out to be?” I responded.

“That is the worry of many like you,” said the old man.

Yet, often, things turn out for the best.

Many, of course, do crash;

But why should that be your lot?

Think of the best;

Hope for the best marriage;

Expect the best marriage;

Do the best you can to have the best marriage.

Isn’t that all you can do?

Don’t wait for your spouse;

Do your own.

Worry never solves a problem;

Neither will fear do.

The two rather create, in marriage, problems untold.

Rest assured

The best will smile to you

When it comes to marriage;

And if already married,

Know the best is

On its way.”

In love with a physically disabled person?

Dear friends, let me ask you a question:if your spouse suddenly became disabled either by illness or accident, what would you do? Would you still love them?

This is a question that was on my mind throughout the week-end
while I was out of the city.

Effectively, Emilia and I were out of the city. We joined two other couples and a Priest to facilitate a Marriage workshop. I believe in marriage.

Twenty-two couples and a Sister attended the workshop during which we equipped them with tools for responsible decisions in their marriages.

We talked about happiness in marriage; and among the many lessons that came out were: to love is a decision. If you want to be happy in your marriage, take the decision to love; be the first to love; and love unconditionally.

Secondly, You have to learn to communicate effectively with your spouse. Effective communication is a big key to a successful marriage.

These are wonderful lessons aren’t they? Indeed! now, let’s go back to our question: if your spouse suddenly became disabled either by illness or by an accident, what would you do? Would you still love them?

How would you react if a physically disabled person came up to you and said they wanted to marry you or your child?

Three powerful words to use often

If the words “I am sorry” had been easy to come out of people’s mouths, the world would have been a far better place. They are powerful words.

How do you find them? Are they easy to come out of your mouth when you hurt your spouse or someone else?

In truth, they are no easy words to say; but they have saved many marriages. They work like magic when it comes to marriage.

You might have been hurt by your spouse, and all that you needed to hear were the words “I am sorry”. That would have ended the bad situation.

Instead what happened? Perhaps, they did not come out or pass through the lips of your spouse because of pride.

Many men are like this. They cannot say “I am sorry” to their spouse either from pride or because it is not in their culture for a man to say “I am sorry” to a woman. Saying such words to a woman thus, is like stooping to her.

I want to say that this way of thinking is instead what constitutes pride; and as we know, pride goes before a fall.

The simple truth is that the words “I am sorry” help a great deal. They are a key in relationship; especially in marriage. Hence, my advice is use them as often as possible.

Letter to Father no 3 (A young heart in tears)

Dear father,

Since my last letter to you I have become even more worried than before. Why are you doing this to us father? Why are you making your own children so unhappy? My young heart is in tears.

My sister has told me that you have not changed an inch; and that you continue to treat my mother as a beast of burden; that the last thing you said to her was to pack and go. Where do you want her to go?

Which other home does she have? Should an old woman like my mother pack her things and go back to her parents? Remember that you have shared everything together for as long as I know: a common home; a common bedroom and a common bed.

Many times you have made tears roll down my cheeks because of the beastly way you have treated my mother. How can a man treat his wife as a beast the way you treat my mother? Don’t forget, father, that my mother is the mother of your children; the children you have always said you loved so much. How do you love us but hate our mother to this extent?

You treat my mother more like an engine for the production of your children; and a machine that must do all the work in the house. You keep telling my mother to get into the kitchen; that the place of the woman is in the kitchen; that she is to be heard and not to be seen. You say she must bear as many children as it pleases you, regardless of the danger that this poses to her life.

Each time mum wants to go out into the world and do things for herself as other women are doing in order that her voice may be heard you push her back telling her that she is to be seen and not to be heard.

Father, you have travelled far and wide and know that the place of the woman is not in the kitchen. Mother can do things. Mother can do great things.  She can move mountains. I see a giant lurking in mother searching for a way to leap forward and move the world. Why are you frustrating her?

Please, daddy, give her a chance. Help her; encourage her; assist her; work in partnership with her and both of you will do wonders.

If you really love us, love our mother as well. We cannot be happy when she is sad.

Thank you, father for being such a loving father to us.

I love you,

Bye

Your son.

Letter to Father no 2

DSCN1130Dear Father,

How can anyone believe that my mother is the woman of your dream; whom you freely chose to be your darling wife? How can anyone believe that you love her when you treat her the way you do?

I have heard that before you married her you used to tell herSAMSUNG CAMERA PICTURES that you loved her; and that you would die if you did not marry her.  Where is the love gone, father? Vanished into thin air? What is lacking in my mother, that you no longer lover her?

Please, tell me before I go crackers.

I am your loving son,

Lavita

A  Letter to Father No 1

 

Inter-racial marriages: best for the world.

DSCN0479THIS IS OUR OPEN ACTIVITY QUESTION FOR THE WEEK:

We see more and more marriages between people of different races; people going out of their country and even continent to get a spouse. You would find, for instance, an American marrying a European, an Asian, an African or a Chinese.

Are such marriages advisable? What would be the advantages and disadvantages?

If you are a young person still looking for a spouse, would you accept to marry someone who does not come from the same race, country or continent like you?

What would be your reasons for or against? What would be your reasons for or against your son or daughter marrying from a different race?

Do inter-racial or inter-cultural marriages succeed? would you encourage or discourage inter-racial marriages? Why?

Imagine a world in which 75% of marriages were inter-racial. Do you think the world would be a better place (more peaceful; more loving)  because of that?

To me, inter-racial marriages are the best for the world. What do you say?

Let’s have your comment. Don’t forget: we publish the best comments or the best parts of the comments we receive every Friday in ‘Quotable Quotes by Great Contemporary Writers.”