7 Lies by which society misguides you !!

Society lies

“Society has become so fake that, the truth actually bothers people” Unknown     Image by jacqueline macou from Pixabay

It’s 4.5 minute read.

Why why all succumb to the society, having its own views on everything & anything under the the Sun ?

Society never tires you with its time tested comments ,since you are addicted to the concept of society’s benchmarks,right from your birth to till the day you die.

In other words society wants you to play by its rule book.

Do you remember the famous personality Joseph Goebbels and his quote…

“If you tell a lie big enough and keep repeating it, people will eventually come to believe it.”

By now I know that You are wondering which society I am talking about ? And where is that society located ?

My friend,this society is nothing but your so called

  • Ourselves
  • well-wishers (including your parents,sorry if I am brutal),
  • uncles,aunties
  • your neighbors
  • your teachers
  • your friends
  • your community
  • your daily news papers,TVs,movies
  • Regular advertisements
  • Your favorite movie stars
  • Your social media
  • Your political discussions,tastes and narratives

you name it….you have it!

Society in other word is a set  of people around you all the time, trying to manipulate you to their advantage.

1.Unconditional Love exists

A rubbish,and a lie uttered time immemorial.To be frank ,there is no such thing in the relationships.

Women marry men hoping they will change. Men marry women hoping they will not. So each is inevitably disappointed. Albert Eisenstein

Our love is directly proportional to how our partners,relatives,friends etc make us feel.

Simply put…. any body gets hurt if their expectation is not fulfilled.This is human nature and there is no escape from it.

Don’t hurt yourself by dreaming/expecting ‘unconditional Love’. Also you can never give unconditional love.Mark my statement.

2.Marriages are made in Heaven

Hmm…If it is so….just answer me why there are so many divorces ?

Marriage is like a cage; one sees the birds outside desperate to get in, and those inside equally desperate to get out. Michel de Montaigne

Is it true,some say marriage is a life long torture !

Marriage: A legal or religious ceremony by which two persons of the opposite sex solemnly agree to harass and spy on each other for ninety-nine years, or until death do them join. Edbert Hubbard

Wife & Husband-why can’t they be best friends for life ?

3.Your life is a meaningful minimum journey to be enjoyed to the maximum

Another thrash. And in spite, all the modern Gurus encourage us to lead a meaningful life.( self defeating )

What made Gautama Buddha get enlightenment ? It’s because of human suffering.Do we have similar God’s grace to get enlightened ?

Life is full of misery, and you are intelligent enough to accept that it’s painful to lead the life and death is the only permanent solution.Since we can’t die….at least let us accept the truth.

Happiness in your life is only for the time being that too in bits, and rest of the times you are busy whining.

“It’s a misery to be born,a pain to live,a trouble to die” St.Bernard of Clairvaux

Still, temporary happiness can come from minor things like,you playing with toys in your childhood, your first Kiss,sex now & then,massage,hot bath, friendship,a short travel,one night stand,A champagne,Receiving a lovely gift or a comforting hug etc.etc.. Drugs can take you to another level.

4.It’s better if you know your life partner before your marriage

Really?………another Utter lie.

No partner in love relationship..should feel that he has to give up an essential part of himself to make it viable May Sarton

Each individual is unique.Only sustained friendship in the form of total understanding between the life partners endures the marriage.

Life partners too expect personal space though they know each other so long !

Even if you knew your partner before,it’s not a guarantee for a successful marriage.

When you can’t understand the people, though you spend your whole life with them,(example parents vs children,children vs parents,siblings vs siblings),then why should you give importance to knowing your partner before?.

Understanding becomes easier after the marriage once you both know your limitations and your strengths mutually over the time.

5.Money won’t make you happy

Ha ha ….Without money you cease to exist.

My dear friend, money is everything.It brings you, both happiness and pleasure.

“Lack of money is the root of all evil”      George Bernard Shah

We work / study for what ? is this not to earn money and live happily ?

People with more money are satisfied with their life style and are in a position to help others too.

He who marries for love without money has GOOD NIGHTS & SORRY DAYS   unknown

6. Boys’ won’t cry

Virtually a child conditioning !!

“People cry not because they are weak,because they’ve been too strong for a long time” unknown

Boys too have feelings ,emotions, excitements and stages of sadness.

Otherwise why will Dr.Sivan,ISRO( The Indian Space Research Organisation ) chairman became teary eyed,when the Chandrayan mission was not successful ?There are many famous men like Andre Agassi and Obama too had teary eyes.

7.Blood is thicker than water

Unfortunately blood relatives are not interested in you,since they are struggling with their own problems and you have to fend yourself.

you can’t blame them.

‘Blood is always thicker than water,but some family members at times are on blood thinners’ unknown

Many times friends come to your rescue.The understanding with the friends anytime better than the blood relatives.

Ego and Jealousy play spoilsport in blood relationships.Don’t play victim card here !!

Please share your views.

Thank you
Philosophy Through Photography
Credits Wiseread.com Inspiringquotes.Com

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How romantic are you?

What do you know about romance in marriage?

How romantic are you?

People, generally, have a very wrong understanding of the word romance or being a romantic person. Being romantic is not a bad thing. If you are married and are not romantic, I can bet you that your marriage will be dull. Your spouse will not be excited about you because nothing in you will excite him/her. You will enjoy a romantic spouse more than a non romantic one.

If you see a dull marriage or a marriage that is experiencing problems, don’t rush to conclude that it is because the spouses don’t love each other. It may rather be that the spouses are not romantic and so there is no romance in their marriage.

The truth is many people don’t know how to bring romance into their marriage.

At times, one spouse will make an effort to bring in romance, but the other one will not respond.

Love and romance make marriage very exciting.

Love and romance can make you look like perfect partners.

Love and romance will make you an admirable couple.

If you compete with your spouse instead of cooperating, you will find it hard to have romance in your marriage.

Modern communication technology has made romance very easy to those who know how to take advantage of it.

Romance comes naturally to some people but not to all.

Many people are not ready to put in the time and effort to have romance in their marriage.

We need to learn to have romance in our marriage.

Remember that romance merely means the way you express your love for your spouse.

It is necessary because it keeps your love alive, fresh and exciting.

To enhance romance and intimacy, someone has come up with a plan he calls a passion plan.

The plan says you should spend:

  1. 15 seconds a day
  2. 15 minutes, 5 days a week
  3. 1.5 hours a week
  4. Another 1.5 hrs. a week.

He explains that you kiss your spouse at least for 15 seconds daily, take 15 minutes at least 5 days a week to connect and talk with your spouse.

Spend quality time with your spouse for st least 1.5 hours a week.

Have sexual intimacy of 1.5 hours a week.

I hope you find time to follow this passion plan. It is worth while.

We are not done with this topic. More is ahead.

Is the fire of love in your marriage still burning?

Dearest friend, if you are married, this post is specifically for you. However, if you are not married, don’t stop reading. It will still be very useful to you on two counts:

  1. It will help you tomorrow if you become married.
  2. You can use it to help someone who is married and whose marriage has lost steam.

We are talking here about rekindling steam in your marriage; reigniting romance in your marriage; refueling the fire of love to keep burning in your marriage. I have two questions for you:

  1. How hot is the fire of love in your relationship?
  2. At this moment, are you stronger or weaker in your marital love?

Marriage is a relationship. Every relationship has its ups and downs, agreements and disagreements, good days and bad days.

When two people from different backgrounds come together as husband and wife, no one can expect them to have the same ideas, the same feelings and the same expectations. Don’t expect them to think and act the same way. There will always be differences.

Some differences may affect your marriage in a big way. Others may affect it in a small way.

Some marriages have big problems which are hard to solve. Others have small problems which may just make the marriage stale or no longer interesting. In which case, the excitement in it has burnt out.

Perhaps, the excitement that was very strong in your marriage at the start has disappeared or has faded.

If that is the case, you have to bring it back. If you are no longer having the fun that you used to have, bring it back. Your marriage needs fun. In fact, your marriage should be fun. Marriage is meant to be fun; to be enjoyed.

Marriage is not supposed to bring you misery; to make you unhappy. You got married to be happy.

However, don’t expect happiness to come on its own just because you are married. It will not come unless you work for it. Here are a few realities about marriage to take note of:

  1. You have to work every day for happiness to be in your marriage.
  2. It’s the same like you have to work everyday to succeed in your marriage.
  3. If you stop working for success, success will turn its back on you and failure will invade you.
  4. If you stop working for happiness in your marriage, happiness will turn its back on you and sadness will take over control.
  5. In life, success and happiness behave like a woman.
  6. You have to woo a woman before you win her.
  7. You must woo success and happiness, and actually run after it before you get it.
  8. Failure, on the other hand, doesn’t wait to be invited. It comes on its own except you stop it with firmness.

If the thrill that you had in you marriage just when you got married has disappeared, make sure you bring it back.

In the next series of posts on marriage, I would like that together we see how we can rekindle romance in our marriage. How can we bring back that original joy that we had? How can we make our love burn again like fire?

Join me in the next posts on marriage. And if you like what you read here, do well to share the link. Thanks!

Looking for Love

Many Christians are searching for love – that perfect woman or man with all the right qualities. Adam and Eve loved each other from the beginning. Isaac and Rebekah never met each other before they were married, yet their love spread throughout the years. Joseph and Mary, and Boaz and Ruth remained love stories of the generations.

Do you know what all these biblical couples all had in common? They chose a spouse from among God’s people. Our choice in a mate shouldn’t be random nor taken lightly. The decision to love someone forever is a holy covenant. When we share the same faith with a spouse, Christ will strengthen your commitment to each other, better serving Him.

But for Christians who are still looking for the perfect somebody, God is working on you! He is planning your future. Perhaps He is building a transforming love for Him or preparing you for a future spouse. Use your talents and resources to serve God’s calling, and in His ever perfect timing, the pieces will fall into place.

If you are single on this day of romance, Valentine’s Day, do not be sad. Celebrate the love of God, your parents, children, or the love of your neighbors. Open your heart to the Holy Spirit and change your life with His gifts.

You’re nice to a fault

You are too nice to a fault
Honey bottoms your match;
Be you called sugar or nectar;
Whichever is the sweeter;
You are too nice to a fault;
Will be no big surprise
You are swallowed whole;
Water poured on dry earth;
Tells better who you are;
You are too nice to a fault,
Like red meat without bone;
You are no different
From a delicious wedding cake;
With everyone fighting
To have a taste;
You are too nice to a fault.
It pleases my heart to know
You are the one I love;
The Queen of my heart;
Too mice, indeed, to a fault.

Marriage alert: watch out!

Do you remember a day when life was moving perfectly well between you and your spouse and you felt loved and very happy but all of a sudden, and for no explanation things turned sour between you?

This happens to many couples. It has happened to me and I found it hard to understand.

Later on, I understood.

With marriage, know that it can take a downward turn at any time. It doesn’t matter that things are moving perfectly. You have to be careful. Watch out! Don’t take your spouse for granted. And don’t do anything without taking your spouse into consideration. I mean anything. I am talking from experience.

Once you become husband and wife, you are bound together. You are no longer two but one, and so you have to do the best you can to think like one, look in the same direction and act like one. Hard, but you have to try.

Let me mention one thing that can turn a sweet relationship sour before you open your eyes; or better still, before you blink your eyes.

Your tongue:

Did you get it? Your tongue can destroy your marriage. Your tongue can tear your relationship to pieces. Your tongue can burn your house.

Ask me for the synonym of tongue and I will say danger.

Think for a while and tell me what often pushes you to fly into a rage with your spouse. Of course, often it’s something that your sweetheart says that is like a knife driven through your heart. And immediately, your bile soars.

That is why we have to make sure we know how we use our tongue. We have to control our tongue or it controls us. And when you allow your tongue to control you, only by magic will you escape diving headlong into a precipice in your relationship. And you can’t be sure in what state you will get up from there, if at all you do get up.

If you read the handbook of life which you know so well, the Bible, you should be familiar with the instruction the creator of the marriage institution gives us about the use of the tongue by couples in their marriage.

Go to the Letter of St. James to God’s people, Chapter 3 and read from verse 1 to 12. This letter has a big lesson on the use of the tongue in our relationship with others; and we can narrow it down to our relationship with our spouse.

In a nutshell, St. James teaches that the way you speak and what you say to your spouse can make or mar your marriage. Hence, we have to be very careful about what we say to our husband or our wife. I got that lesson and I am not departing from it because I know what awaits me if I do.

We want to build not destroy our marriage. Wisdom demands that we listen to St. James.

He compares the tongue to a fire. Just like a large forest can be set ablaze by a tiny flame, our husband/wife relationship can be set on fire by our tongue.

And you know what? The tongue is not easy to tame just like a blazing fire on a mountain forest is hard to control. Get what St. James says: ” Human beings can tame and have tamed all creatures – wild animals and birds, reptiles and fish. But no one has ever been able to tame the tongue. It is evil and uncontrollable, full of deadly poison….”

If you read this passage and meditate on it and do not watch how you speak to your spouse, your seriousness in marriage is clearly questionable.

As we have mentioned, to control the tongue is not eating rice and stew. It is an uphill task. It is always seeking to wriggle its way out of control. Don’t give it a chance.

Each time you open your mouth to talk to your spouse, weigh your words. In my village we say chew your words well before you swallow them.

Don’t speak in anger or when you are angry.

Do not use your tongue to dump words on your spouse that you will later regret using. Don’t say hurt words to your spouse. The way such words hurt you is the same way they hurt your spouse. Use love words; words that uplift your spouse; words that sweeten the heart. When you are angry, better be silent rather than throw words at your spouse that will give pain to the heart.

I hope this short reflection can help your relationship somehow. Actually, this is just to kick start the conversation on this key subject of the use of the tongue in marriage. We welcome your views, and especially your testimonies of how the use of the tongue has impacted your marital relationship. Journeying together means talking together; sharing together and growing together. Let’s build and strengthen one another by sharing.

10/10 question on the topic:

“When was a time when the poor use of my tongue brought stress to my relationship with my spouse? What responsible decision am I ready to take about how I use my tongue in my marriage? HDIFAMA? (How do I feel about my answer?)”

If this happens to come your way when you have not done the Marriage Encounter Weekend which schools couples on marriage, you may be at a loss about what 10/10 means. Just leave that aside and write on the topic and discuss with your spouse and share with us here. Thanks for reading.

You mean the world

Do you know who I thought of
As I started this day?
Who else but you?
I could have forgetten everybody,
But not you;
I thought of you immediately
I opened my eyes this morning;
And that was for a reason;
It was like switching on
The light of my heart
To dispel any darkness;
Or turning on the heater
Of your car on a cold day.
Do you know what this means?
So much to me;
It means you mean
The world to me;
That is exactly what you mean.
I value our relationship.

My favourite

My favourite is you;
Will so remain;
And that will be
For a long time;
If not for ever;
For many years;
Do not be surprised
That I say this;
You may not know,
But you are the best
I have ever met;
I am happy this is so.
You are so sweet
And nice;
And give me reason
To be happy.
And to celebrate.
You are my favourite.
My most favoured;
I don’t know
What I can be without you;
Always you put a smile
On my face.
You are Godsent to me.