Leaves changing colours.

Why I’m A Change Enthusiast

Leaves changing colours.

I didn’t always like changes. As a matter of fact, I was afraid of it and I hated it. For the longest time, change has been this word that leaves an ominous aftertaste and I couldn’t figure out why. And I’m not the only one. We seem to be living in a world where the majority is scared by change.

Often, we pretended to embrace change even as our heart sank, because we knew it was going to end badly and we already felt the inevitable loss. “I hate this relationship but I’m afraid of being alone, or I’m tired of being a teacher but I don’t know how to do anything else.” The twisted thing about change is that we want it as much as we fear it, and we need it as much as we need safety.

 

Change Comes With Loss

I realised that every change comes with a loss of something. Usually, it is the comfort, predictability, and safety. Change always means giving something up, and that is difficult for many people, even in inevitable situations. This is why change is so hard for so many people. They don’t fear change itself, they fear the loss it brings.

For example, you’re leading a meeting and somewhere down the meeting you say, “We’re going to try something new” or “We’re taking a new direction”. With a bit of empathy, you know this puts people on edge at the end of your sentence. This makes most of the people all nervous about what’s coming, and for a small group, it might be exciting. But when you follow up with a reason, it will put people more at ease.

As Simon Sinek famously wrote, we need to start with the why – the purpose.

“People don’t buy what you do. They buy why you do it.” – Simon Sinek

 

Change Is A Means To Progress, Not An Aim

Change is something that is required to keep ourselves and the world progressing forward. Refusal to change is inaction and leads to deteriorating of self or an organisation. Change is a by-product when a decision is made, or a vision is pursued. If we reach a place where change is a decision or a vision, then we become purposeless. It would mean that we toy with things that don’t need to be toyed with. We become bored and discard perfectly good ways of doing things. We fix what is not broken and in doing so, we break it.

For change to be meaningful, either personally or in an organisation, it must have a target, a goal. It is a change in direction to reach a different destination, and the destination must be better than the one on the previous route. Therefore, change cannot be our aim, it must be our means.

 

Time Changes

Change comes in different sizes and in different momentums. It doesn’t necessarily have to be a change that affects our entire life, family, friends, education, and every other aspect. But sometimes, even changing something as simple as our thoughts can have a huge impact on our lives.

That is why I’m a change enthusiast. Regardless of how big or small change may be, it affects our mindset, workflow, and can serve as a huge boost in our overall day enthusiasm. Also, it allows me to see myself, and even the world, from a different perspective. It gives me the chance to clear my mind and move forward. Time changes, and when we as a person stay motionless in life, we won’t get nearly the experience we would be getting if we were opened and accepting to change.

“When time changes, so must we.” – Barack Obama

 

In The End, There Will Be Good News

It doesn’t matter whether we embrace change or hide away from it in a corner because change is constant. Change is happening all the time, with and without your participation, from “they stopped making my favourite sandwich” to “I’m expecting a baby”.

Even if you make no changes in your second-rate marriage, your boring job, or your painful relationship with your brother, all those things will change anyway. You can either choose to take steps toward change or to wait and see what surprises life has for you as you cling to what you thought was safety.

Mostly, change is as inevitable as the leaves falling in autumn. Some of us choose to stay home, some of us choose to go outside and experience the scenery, a few admirable of us go rolling in the leaves and make photos. No matter what, the leaf falls. It falls to give valuable nutrition to the soil and make preparations to blossom once again next spring.

Originally published at ye-chen.com.

  • What are your thoughts on change?
  • What has been your biggest change in life?
  • What has been your most unexpected change?

Have your say in the comment section 🙂

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withdrawal phase in life

From time to time, I just go into my shell. I get into a phase in which I just withdraw from people. I stop messaging. I avoid calls. And I just make an excuse when people want to meet me. I don’t do that because I don’t like them anymore. I do that because I just don’t want to talk to anyone for some time. And it’s not depression or something doomsday. It’s just that I want to be left alone. And this time teaches me a lot, a hell lot. I realize that people whom I thought of as someone important were just a passing pleasant breeze in my life. And they do perfectly fine without me when I stop talking to them. There is nothing like concern or their world becomes empty without me. Barring very few people, nobody really cares. And that shakes me up, you know. That makes me realize that I was just wasting so much of my emotions and time on people who didn’t deserve that much from me. I feel a little bad, hurt, yes. But then, I feel happy that now I know who I have and who was just someone pretending to be there.

Solitude brings a lot of calmness into my chaos. I realize what things are important for me and need my attention. I shut out all those temporary distractions who were just energy suckers. Look, the problem with me is that I put so much heart into things that I end up losing almost all of me in others, while others don’t even give a part of themselves to me. And I get so happy and involved, and so soon, that I don’t even realize that people are just using me. So, this alone time acts as a detox for me. I can really visualize what wrong things were done to me by people. It’s empoewring, yes. But, it also makes me feel very lonely, at times. There are times when I feel that I have no one. I fall weak. I get negative thoughts. I spend sleepless nights, wondering why people are so bad. But, somehow, all these scars make my soul strong. I soak in so much hurt in my heart that my heart becomes more cold and practical. I feel like I don’t need them anymore to live my life and be happy.

peace of mind

I know many of you will be feeling that I go through the same things, exactly. And yes, we all go through this “to stay or to leave” phase. And, it sucks, yes. But, it makes us better, you know. You and I, we all start building a home for ourselves within us. We realize that people come and leave like guests. So, we need to find our peace and joy in our home, alone. And you know, when I come out of this phase, I delete a few people from my life. And with few people, I start to give so much less of me. And yes, sometimes, you feel so angry because people tend to blame you. They say “you have changed”. But, they don’t realize that they deserve this only. They can’t see that they were always bad to me. They always treated me as an option. And just because I was available always, without any complaints, they got used to getting the best of me even when they were at their worst. So, things do get a bit messy after this phase. But, I let go, then. I don’t think too much. I am like, go, you too, just leave. I am done with you. Goodbye..

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wise mind

I keep on losing people, you know. Because I keep on realizing that I deserve much better. I don’t get desperate for the love and respect that I really deserve. I wait for the right time and the right people. My life is precious. My time is precious. My emotions are precious. I am not going to let someone walk over them just because I was feeling lonely. No, that’s lame. And I am not a loser. I rather put all that time and emotions into going after my goals and dreams. I would rather cry at night than just waste that night, begging someone to make me feel loved. I would rather hug a pillow at night that doesn’t leave me than hold on to a person that threatens to walk away. I would rather talk to myself than talk to someone who won’t even care what I am talking about. And I would rather have no one than to have someone who is only half there. I know it was a lot of bullshit, deep stuff, you know. But, I am done with all the meaningless laughter and lame social media bullshit happy life. I want it real, man. I just want to live the rest of my life with as much truth and reality as possible. I am done with sweet snakes.

Equal-Partnership Concept In The Marriage Is The New Age Romance…

Relationship dynamics are much more vital than these traditional pre-defined norms. As I said every couple knows their expectations, strengths and weaknesses and accordingly they find out what works best for them. I think, for couples today, the key is establishing an equal partnership which includes everything being shared, be it chores, emotional support or finances. To read more please click here

Looking Young And Ageing

Looking Young.jpg

I am in the fortunate position of looking considerably younger than I am.  It is lovely, and I do what I can to keep it this way; face yoga, meditation, seeds in my porridge.  Daily smoothies packed with ground seeds and powders.  I also take about 14 different supplements every day.

Stepping into the business world as a young-looking person, however, is a different story.  People struggle to support a young person, emotionally.  It is a primal urge.  I hold no judgement.  Ageing is hard – hence the aforementioned daily routine.

I think compassion is the only way through it, for the young and old.  We all have our struggles.  Remember young people do not have the experience to understand their emotions yet.  Growing up is a rough time.  Likewise society persecutes us for ageing, despite all the experience and understanding and philosophising we offer.

Have compassion, support.  Be the best you.

 

By www.upwardjourneys.com

Senior Citizen

Very encouraging & scientific message from a Senior Citizen:

Brains of older people are slow because they know so much. People do not decline mentally with age, it just takes them longer to recall facts because they have more information in their brains, scientists believe. Much like a computer struggles as the hard drive gets full, so, too, do humans take longer to access information when their brains are full.

brain

Researchers say this slowing down process is not the same as cognitive decline. The human brain works slower in old age, said Dr. Michael Ramscar, but only because we have stored more information over time. The brains of older people do not get weak. On the contrary, they simply know more.

Also, older people often go to another room to get something and when they get there, they stand there wondering what they came for. It is NOT a memory problem, it is nature’s way of making older people do more exercise.

Henceforth…

Now when I reach for a word or a name , I won’t excuse myself by saying “I’m having a senior moment”. Now, I’ll say, “My disk is full !”

YOUR STAE OF MIND

Pain…

Even if we have to live with pain, we don’t have to live in pain

To live with pain means that pain is present within our consciousness; to live in pain means that pain dominates our consciousness, infecting our whole life with emotional negativity.

quotation-khalil-gibran-out-of-suffering-have-emerged-the-strongest-souls-the-most-10-95-531.jpg

Suppose we have chronic back-pain that oscillates between acute and mild. While it is mild, if we still dwell on it, resenting its past occurrences or dreading its future recurrences, we end up living in pain. How can we avoid dwelling on the pain? By focusing on a purpose bigger than the pain.

If our life’s purpose is bodily enjoyment, bodily pain becomes unbearable. But if we have a higher purpose, that purpose makes the pain bearable. While lifting weights during a workout, we may feel some pain, but we persevere through it. How? By focusing on the purpose of improving our health.

The Pain Is Broken 2

The Religious Books indicates that the world’s cause-effect mechanisms determine external events; but how we experience those events – joyful or painful or in between – is determined by where our consciousness is focused. And that focus is determined by our purpose.

The Religious books’ wisdom reveals life’s highest purpose based on our deepest identity. It explains that at our core, we are souls. We are eternal parts of the supreme spiritual reality, the Lord. Our highest purpose is to love and serve him, and to therein relish unending joy. Our body is a tool for his service – even if it limits us in some ways, we can still serve him through our intention expressed within those limitations. When we make his service our life’s defining and driving purpose, then that service attitude itself becomes our steady connection with him.

When we thus center our consciousness on the Lord, it becomes bigger than any pains we may face, thereby enabling us to live with pain without living in pain.

Think it over:

What is the difference between living with pain and living in pain?

How does the Reglious wisdom help us to live with pain instead of living in pain?

Can you think of some area of life where you can rise from living in pain to living with pain?

It Takes More than Flying a Flag (My 4th of July Poem)

There is a different between boundaries

And not respecting someone

The balance isn’t always easily done

 

Our country is now so divided

With the 4th upon us

But unity has me excited

 

I honor you

But not always your choices

There is a difference

 

This 4th let’s celebrate

A new age dawning

We decide the future, not fate

 

Other countries can have intense discussions

Why can we?

Start a chain reaction of American liberty!

 

I know it isn’t always easy

This cost of freedom

It takes more than flying a flag!

 

(C) Carly Wiggins 2018

Between 55 and death.

Between 55 and death.
It’s time to use the money you saved up. Use it and enjoy it. Don’t just keep it for those who may have no notion of the sacrifices you made to get it. Remember there is nothing more dangerous than a son or daughter-in-law with big ideas for your hard-earned capital.

Warning: This is also a bad time for investments, even if it seems wonderful or fool-proof. They only bring problems and worries. This is a time for you to enjoy some peace and quiet.

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Stop worrying about the financial situation of your children and grandchildren, and don’t feel bad spending your money on yourself. You’ve taken care of them for many years, and you’ve taught them what you could. You gave them an education, food, shelter and support. The responsibility is now theirs to earn their own money.

Keep a healthy life, without great physical effort. Do moderate exercise (like walking every day), eat well and get your sleep. It’s easy to become sick, and it gets harder to remain healthy. That is why you need to keep yourself in good shape and be aware of your medical and physical needs. Keep in touch with your doctor, do tests even when you’re feeling well. Stay informed.

Always buy the best, most beautiful items for your significant other. The key goal is to enjoy your money with your partner. One day one of you will miss the other, and the money will not provide any comfort then, enjoy it together.

Don’t stress over the little things. You’ve already overcome so much in your life. You have good memories and bad ones, but the important thing is the present. Don’t let the past drag you down and don’t let the future frighten you. Feel good in the now. Small issues will soon be forgotten.

Regardless of age, always keep love alive. Love your partner, love life, love your family, love your neighbor and remember: “A man is not old as long as he has intelligence and affection.”

Be proud, both inside and out. Don’t stop going to your hair salon or barber, do your nails, go to the dermatologist and the dentist, keep your perfumes and creams well stocked. When you are well-maintained on the outside, it seeps in, making you feel proud and strong, from the inside.

Don’t lose sight of fashion trends for your age, but keep your own sense of style. There’s nothing worse than an older person trying to wear the current fashion among youngsters. You’ve developed your own sense of what looks good on you – keep it and be proud of it. It’s part of who you are.

ALWAYS stay up-to-date. Read newspapers, watch the news. Go online and read what people are saying. Make sure you have an active email account and try to use some of those social networks. You’ll be surprised what old friends have to say when you will meet.

Respect the younger generation and their opinions. They may not have the same ideals as you, but they are the future, and will take the world in their direction. Give advice, not criticism, and try to remind them that yesterday’s wisdom still applies today.

Never use the phrase: “In my time.” Your time is now. As long as you’re alive, you are part of this time.

Some people embrace their golden years, while others become bitter and surly. Life is too short to waste your days on the latter. Spend your time with positive, cheerful people, it’ll rub off on you and your days will seem that much better. Spending your time with bitter people will make you feel older and harder to be around.

Do not surrender to the temptation of living with your children or grandchildren (if you have a financial choice, that is). Sure, being surrounded by family sounds great, but we all need our privacy. They need theirs and you need yours. Even then, do so only if you feel you really need the help or do not want to live by yourself

Don’t abandon your hobbies. If you don’t have any, make new ones. You can travel, hike, cook, read, dance. You can adopt a cat or a dog, grow a kitchen garden, play cards, checkers, chess, dominoes, golf.

Try to go. Get out of the house, meet people you haven’t seen in a while, experience something new (or something old). The important thing is to leave the house from time to time. Go to museums, go walk through a park. Get out there.

Speak in courteous tones and try not to complain or criticize too much unless you really need to. Try to accept situations as they are.

Pain and discomfort go hand in hand with getting older. Try not to dwell on them but accept them as a part of the life.

If you’ve been offended by someone – forgive them. If you’ve offended someone – apologize. Don’t drag around resentment with you. It only serves to make you sad and bitter. It doesn’t matter who was right. Someone once said: “Holding a grudge is like taking poison and expecting the other person to die.” Don’t take that poison. Forgive, forget and move on with your life.

Laugh a lot…. Laugh away your worries Remember, you are one of the lucky ones. You managed to have a life, a long one. …Many never get to this age, never get to experience a full life… So Enjoy Life !!

Life-Story

Parenting !!

An excellent message on Parenting…adapted from a speech !

You will be gone soon but the children will be here; And nobody can manage anybody else’s life; though they are with you,  yet they belong not to you…
You may give them your love but not your thoughts; for they have their own thoughts
You may house their bodies but not their souls,  for their souls dwell in the house of tomorrow, which you cannot visit even in your dreams…
God will take care …
It is none of our business to be too concerned…
Whatsoever we can do, we do, but one should not ponder and think too much  about things going the way one wants …
That is very egoistic

old age elderly-main

You have given birth to a child, but once he is out of the womb ; he is free of you
First he depended for his breath on you when he was in the womb
Then he will take his own breath
That moment, You don’t say  – ‘What are you doing?
Are you trying to be free of me? Trying to be independent?’

You feel happy that your child is breathing !!

First he will take milk from you, then one day he will start eating on his own

First he will go on clinging to your apron and then one day he will leave it

You will be happy because the child is growing, becoming mature.

Then finally one day he falls in love with a woman

He has found his woman, so he will go on his own way

Bless them, and whatsoever happens they have to find their own life and their
own meaning to life.

Now you are free.
Just try to find your meaning, your life, your goals, and devote the few days that are left to the search of the ultimate.

Don’t be concerned with ordinary things I have never seen a single parent who is happy about their children.

Nobody is ever happy… Even the father of Buddha was not happy… He was very very annoyed because his son turned out to be a pauper. He became a Monk and the father was hoping he would become an Emperor .. He crushed all his father’s hopes

One thing is certain — that the child is not here to fulfill your expectations

The child is here with his own destiny, and he will unfold his  own destiny. You are trying somehow to direct his destiny and that is going to be frustrated.

Accept it and bless them good.

They have to find their own ways

Who are we to interfere?
And how can we?

Pray for them but leave them on their own.

You just try to grow yourself.

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Excerpts from the discourse of a popular motivational speaker !!

 

Golden Sentences to implement in Life

Nice collection!! Please read and implement in your life the following golden sentences :

  • Heavy rains remind us of challenges in life. Never ask for a lighter rain, just pray for a better umbrella. That is Attitude.
  • When flood comes, fish eats ants and when flood recedes, ants eat fish. Only time matters. Just hold on. God gives opportunity to every one.
  • In a theatre when drama plays, you opt for front seats. When film is screened, you opt for rear seats. Your position in life is only relative. Not absolute.
  • For making soap, oil is required. But to clean oil, soap is required. This is the irony of life.
  • Life is not about finding the right person. But creating the right relationship.
  •  It’s not how we care in the beginning. But how much we care till the end.
  •  Every problem has (N+1) solutions: where N is the number of solutions that you have tried and 1 is that you have not tried.
  • When you are in problem, don’t think it’s the End. It is only a Bend in life.
  •  Difference between Man and God is God gives, gives and forgives. Man gets, gets and forgets.
  • Only two category of people are happy in life-The Mad and the Child. Be Mad to achieve a goal. Be a Child to enjoy what you achieved.
  • Never play with the feelings of others. You may win. But lose the person for lifetime.
  • There is NO Escalator to success. ONLY STEPS!!!
  • life lessons