Regain your balance (Be inspired today 203 by Ngobesing Suh Romanus)

Once you had good balance
Didn’t you?
What went wrong?
You lost your balance;
And now you are staggering
Like someone who’s drunk;
Dangling from side to side;
That is not a good thing;
You have to make sure
You regain your balance;
Take some steps backward;
Take a good look at yourself;
And carve out the way forward.
Are you ready?
If not you are doomed;
To regain your balance
That is the way to go.

Finding Balance In Our Impatience

Black and red abstract painting.

Have you ever taken the pizza out of the oven two minutes early because you just couldn’t wait? Or left lines that were barely moving, only to get into an even slower one? Or breaking up a good healthy relationship because you weren’t sure where it was going, and couldn’t stand the uncertainty?

We’ve all been impatient and we’ve all made rash decisions when impatience got the better of us. Then again, we’ve also been overly patient at times, sticking with projects, jobs, or relationships long after it made sense to do so.

Eventually, there’s this thought on which will cost us more in life—patience or impatience? Of course, different people will have different answers. The ideal outcome would be, to get it right every time we let our impatience lead us when changing course makes sense, and to stay on the course when that made the most sense.

Unfortunately, no one gets it right every time.

Now, here’s the thing: If we understand our impatience better, it will give us more control to get it right more of the time. Below are three useful insights about our impatience:

1.    Impatience Come With Goals

Impatience is triggered when we have a goal and realise it’s going to cost us more than we initially thought to reach it.

For example, if you sit in a room with nothing on your mind, you will not be impatient because you’re just there. Now, if you decide to go to a shopping mall to buy a pair of new sneakers, you have adopted a goal. At this point, you are not impatient yet, but you might be making ways towards it. Suppose you want to get a pair of new sneakers by the end of the day, the longer it takes for you to find them, the more impatient you grow.

Whenever I start writing my next blog, I usually think it will take about two days to have everything ready for it to be published. I’m on schedule, but then I get an even better idea for a blog. I realise that continuing to write my first blog is costing me the opportunity to work on my second more interesting blog. You’ve guessed it. At that point, I start to grow impatient.

Or lately, it has been snowing here and it would take me ten minutes extra to travel home. There were several interferences and traffic jams which made me have to wait outside in the cold. Then I realised that it was going to take me more than just ten minutes extra to get home. I was already impatient, and I grew even more impatient.

2.    Impatience Motivates Us To Reduce Costs

At the same time, impatience motivates us to reduce the costs of reaching our goal or to switch goals. When we realise it’s going to cost us more than we thought to get to our goal, we start looking for ways to avoid the additional costs in time, pain, distraction, or opportunity.

“It’s a heritage from our evolution,” says Marc Wittmann, a psychologist at the Institute for Frontier Areas of Psychology. Our impatience made sure we didn’t die from spending too long on a single unrewarding activity. It gave us the impulse to act.

So, Instead of direly walking around in the shopping mall looking for a new pair of sneakers, we can turn to our mobile devices to shop online; when writing one blog while dreaming of writing another, I might try to speed up work on the first, or just set it aside to work on the more interesting idea; knowing how terrible the traffic will be on the following days, I start looking for alternate routes or simply decide to work from home.

Unfortunately, the fast pace of the current society has thrown our internal clock out of balance. “Time stretches,” Wittman says. “We get mad.” It creates unrealistic expectations that can’t be rewarded fast enough, or rewarded at all. When things move slower than we expect, our internal clock even plays tricks on us by stretching out the wait, summoning anger out of proportion to the delay.

3.    Impatience Increases With More Options

Any project we do is bound to have its downs. There will be moments when we feel optimistic and on top of the world, and others when we doubt the project will work at all, especially when there are more options to choose from. In general, the more options we have, the more we lean towards impatience. If we have only one project to work on, we can be fairly patient and just solve the problems as they come.

In contrast, if we have several other projects we could be working on, we’re much more likely to abandon the current one when it gets hard. If we repeatedly do this when a project gets hard, we will find ourselves with a dozen unfinished projects lying around with nothing to show for all our effort.

To have options is good, but having too many can be bad. Barry Schwartz explains in the “Paradox of Choice” that having too many options can make it more difficult to choose in the first place. This can result in more regret and a greater tendency to change course after the choice has been made.

A Better Chance To Find Balance

When we understand how impatience works, we can manage it better. We can put our impatience to use when it’s time to speed things up or change course. And we can learn to calm our impatience when it makes more sense to stay the course.

Here are some questions we can ask ourselves when we find ourselves growing impatient:

  • What is my goal?
  • What is going to cost me to reach this goal?
  • What are foreseeable additional costs?
  • What are my other options?
  • Do I have too many options?
  • Do these options reduce the costs of reaching this goal?
  • Is it time to abandon this goal?

Knowing how impatience work will give us a better chance to find balance, so we can stay the course or change it when it makes sense.

Originally published at

  • What’s causing your impatience?
  • How do you deal with it?

Have your say in the comment section 🙂

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Gender issues – I have an idea

I have been reading a lot of literature on gender issues. I hear so much in the media also. All the efforts in this regard are lauded.

I have an idea of a how we can contribute in this community to the effort of gender balance. This is what I am proposing to you. This idea follows my post A quote by a woman.

It just occurred to me that searching and highlighting quotes by women can be a great milestone in the gender balance effort.

What do you think?

This means that everyday, we create a post which gives us the opportunity to publish in the comment box as many quotes as possible by women.

By the same token, we encourage the use of quotes by women in our speech, and writing.

We don’t only have wise men. We also have wise women every where who are enriching thought, wisdom and expression with their wise words.

The world cannot continue to operate as if only one sex had wise people.

Kindly let me have your take on this, please. Positive or negative, it will be welcomed and treated with respect.

We will just title the new series “Quotes by Women”

Visit A quote by a woman.

Happy blogging!

Trash to Treasure


Garbage. One simple, nasty word that can be applied to so many things these days. The inescapable epidemic of violence, American politics, the web of lies that both the pharmaceutical and advertising industries weave, or the nutrient lacking mountain of chemicals we refer to as our food supply. All garbage.

“Poverty is the worst form of violence.” Mahatma Gandhi

One of the views from my Toronto high rise displays the lack of balance in our world. Day after day those that have nothing search through the garbage of those that have too much. One man’s trash is another man’s treasure, literally. Poverty or suffering without one’s basic human needs being met is a timeless, universal problem. One that we have obviously no interest in solving.

Where is the balance?

Maybe it’s trapped at the bottom of that stuffed to capacity garbage bin. Under the old stuff I got rid of because I bought some new stuff, or the extra stuff I had for a while that I wasn’t using and the stuff I bought on sale even though I already had the same stuff at home…Balance.

Most of us can’t even wrap our heads around any reality that is too far removed from our perfect, disconnected, selfish lives. Isn’t posting something on social media proactive? Screw social media and the little cocoons we build around ourselves while we stare at the flickering blue screens on our cell phones.

I dare you just for a moment, to truthfully imagine this:

Once upon a time,

You own and have absolutely nothing. Everything you eat is either a hand out, or comes from what you can find in someone else’s trashYou have nowhere to sleep tonight and every other night…The End


Read More:  Fallen Angel on the Run

Stress, Stress, Stress



Stress, stress, stress… most of us try to avoid it, some of us abhor it and inevitable we humans seek to achieve homeostasis or balance at all cost in our surroundings. We view stress be it physical, spiritual, mental, financial etc as a nuisance, an annoyance, a distractor and even a deterrent to our success. A few years ago I became obsessed with the idea of failure and how people fail. After talking to both people who considered their lives a great success and others who viewed their endeavors as total failures I realized that the end result of their ventures or endeavors was intricately linked to the way that they handled stress.

It quickly became very evident that success and failure were almost immediately preceded by a stressor and the way in which one responded to that stressor was bound to determine whether or not they failed or succeeded. I pondered that thought for a few months until I came upon a quote of Myles Monroe which stated “Stress exists to make a demand on my potential”. I was immediately reminded of my grade school physics teacher who drilled into me the concept of potential energy. In Physics, potential energy is defined as the energy an object has due to its position relative to some zero position. This is in contrast to kinetic energy which is due to the object’s motion.

I was thrilled when I read this because potential energy was essentially innate ability irrespective of outside socioeconomic factors that may affect current standing. However, a possible influencing factor on potential is how one choses to position themselves in their individual environment. Once I understood that concept, I felt there was hope for average people like me.

Remember this everytime you face a stressor in life: Stress exists to make a demand on your potential! The way you choose to deal with stress will either mar you or build you up aka fail or succeed! This thought process inspired me to write the above statement: “Stress is a necessary prerequisite to incite growth”.

Feel free to share any insight or comments you may have as we learn and grow together. Watch my Youtube video on the same topic:

Topical Song ‘Earth & Peace’ (audio & lyrics)

‘Earth & Peace’ – Topical Song by Michel Montecrossa

Earth & Peace

No earth without peace. No peace without earth.
I’m takin’ care of you in my own way.
No earth without danger. No peace without pain.
Moist and playful is the dew on your hands.

No man without war. No madness without love.
Dirt of the dead is in your heart.
Your eyes, red with hate, don‘t see tomorrow’s grace.
No earth without peace. No peace without earth.

Bullets find flesh. Dead bodies cry in gray.
You don’t want to hear. You want to stay.
You are cheap, you are rich, you know ugly tricks.
No wonder all the spirits repossess their earthly gifts.

I‘m kissed by the wind, am embraced by the storm.
The temperature is fallin‘ and I‘m freezin‘ to the bone.
The farmland is a-burnin‘ and everything is wrong.
You won‘t find the answer if you are all alone.

No earth without balance. No balance without hope.
I’m takin’ care of you
‘cause I see you’re hangin’ on a rope.
Nature knows the answer. I can only give you love.
Nature is the answer if you want to hear at all.

No earth without peace. No peace without earth.
I’m takin’ care of you in my own way.
No earth without danger. No peace without pain.
Moist and playful is the dew on your hands.

Lyrics & Music: Michel Montecrossa, © Mira Sound Germany

About ‘Earth & Peace’ Michel Montecrossa says:
“Changes are signs of progress but they must be free of ignorance. By looking how nature works we will always understand better. By preserving peace we preserve the earth and can best put into practice what we have understood. The earth is paradise if we know the secret of thrillingly creative peace. The secret is love. If we love the earth we will treat her right. Respecting the earth is the basis for receiving and using her riches in the right and ever renewing way – and then we can live with all in powerful peace, stronger than any attraction to war can be.”

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Visit this year’s Mirapuri World Literature Fest from 28th October – 30th October 2016 in Mirapuri-Coiromonte, Italy: book fair, Live-Concert with Michel Montecrossa and his band The Chosen Few, screenings, meditation at the Miravinci, and more, contact here)

Earth & Peace