Definition :To quarrel is to fight — but usually not physically.
Quarreling is a fact of life, occurring between the best of friends, in the happiest of marriages, and between parents and their children. vocabulary.com
It is a disagreement about something.
Why we quarrel in the very first place ?
Somewhere I read ( I am not able to recollect the source) what is known as BIG 5 causing friction, leading to argument. 1.Money, 2.sex, 3.raising kids, 4.in-laws and 5.house/office work.Of course one can broaden the BIG 5 into various sub-classes.
Disagreement can lead from just anger to outburst of pent-up feelings.
The quarrels can stretch from very few initially to increased frequency over the time.
The reasons can be from silly to far serious issues.
The whole problem is because none is willing to admit their mistakes, continue the arguments,even competing with each other, with ego factor playing an active role.
Whenever there is dispute remember,
“Family problems come in all sizes and shapes.Some are short-lived,easily managed,while others are more chronic and difficult to handle” unknown
What I am trying to tell is that it takes time to deal the problems and one must be patient.One must realize that,
“Families and their problems go on and they are not solved….they are dealt with”. Roger Ebert,
When we are friendly with the entire world ( don’t say…. this is because of survival instinct ),why can’t we show same friendliness to our family members?
You know the old adage
“You can choose the friends,but you can’t choose the family”
In other words,since blood is thicker than water, all the more you can’t afford to quarrel with your family members.Why don’t you compliment the other for the good things in them
How best to avoid family quarrels ?
Some tips which I think,can help! ( My 12 commandments )
1.Stay calm in spite of the urge to respond angrily.Never raise your voice.
2.Be a good listener.
3.Reduce your emotional scale to zero.
4.Let there not be communication gap.Make it clear as to what the other person is saying and meaning.
5.Impress the other person,what actually you meant or intended to do.
6.Never bring the past or unrelated issues.
7.Try to solve the problem and not to win the argument.
8.Put yourself in the others shoes.
9.Don’t stockpile your issues and vent at a stretch irrelevantly.
10.forget & forgive
11.Take it easy.
12.Have faith in the Lord.
“Problems are like washing machines,they twist us,spin us,knock us around but in the end,we come out cleaner,brighter and better than before” – unknown