A noble lady just told me, A book had changed her life; Can you guess How I felt hearing that? I was so elated; Has a book done that to you? I love books; Or do I say I adore books? Books change lives; Many good books are life changing; They are a gold mine; But not everybody Knows this; Lucky, those who do; Books are a treasure; And good books are The best treasure; One good book, I say, Can transform your life; If you like me to advice, I will tell you: Value books; And give them a chance To change your life. Read as many books as you can; And why not write yours?
This year, I am confident, My life will change Because I will change My ways; I will change In a meaningful way; This is necessary; If I don’t change My ways My life will not change; I have to change My ways; But first, I will change my thoughts; Then I will change my attitude; I will change my habits; Then, I will change my actions. Of course, Automatically, My life will change. This is a year of change.
If you want your life
You must cultivate
To change your ways;
Change demands change,.
Which takes courage,
And courage is not free
It has a price
Which must be paid.
You must risk;
And be ready to suffer;
But you suffer today
To enjoy tomorrow.
Suffer to enjoy, of course.
Nothing will change If you don’t change; Your methodology must change; And your methodology Will change If your thinking changes; Old methods, old results; New methods, new results; You cannot stick To old ways And expect different results; Change follows change; Status quo will give birth To its kind; Change to change. New wine, New wine skin. Never forget; Nothing will change If you don’t change. Think of climate change; To save our planet Change your ways Towards the environment; Short and simple.
We live in a world of abundance, Wealth overflows; Yet, billions live in destitute; What really is the matter? Why can’t all have enough? What stops me or you Having our fair share? The world’s abundance Is for all; A few cannot be allowed To exploit and dominate The majority. Things must change. The wealth of the world Must flow to all.
You cannot change
What you cannot change;
You can change
Only what you can change;
Do not force
To change things
That you cannot change;
If you cannot change it,
If you can change it,
If it needs change,
Make sure you change
What needs to be changed
If you can change it.
In my previous blog “Understand Your Worth – How You Value Yourself,” I talked about the topic of how much the society places value on outward appearances when defining one’s success, whereas little consideration is given to the inner values of a person, and that certain outward appearances of success can trigger a need within you to compare yourself to others.
This outward type of social comparison is often painful and rarely triggers any real change in our lives, because it makes us feel defeated right from the start – mainly due to fear and insecurity. It’s of no surprise that we live with different paradoxes, with the most common one is failing to see our own value, while simultaneously thinking more highly of ourselves than we ought.
Though social comparisons are often seen as unhealthy, yet comparing ourselves to others can be a powerful life tool in itself. The difference lies in your motive: Are you comparing out of fear and insecurity, or out of the desire to improve?
The Harmful Type Of Social Comparison
This is when you compare out of fear and insecurity, in other words, you want what belongs to others.
There are plenty of examples, such as getting mad when someone gets the promotion instead of you, has a nicer suit and car, or it can even be a talent that you wish you had. These strong feelings that you deserve more can lead you to feel that you will never be good enough, and push you in making false assumptions that you deserve as much or more then what the other person has. This fear will only lead to great discontentment, which in turn will mature into bitterness.
Bitterness may cause you to seek faults with this person and look for reasons why they don’t deserve whatever it is that they have. Then, your thoughts start to lean towards an idea that you are never good enough so you might as well give up. You feel that you can never be enough so you do the bare minimum to keep yourself afloat. When bitterness becomes the core of one’s existence, there can be no happiness.
The Healthy Type Of Social Comparison
When was the last time you felt inspired by watching someone giving a great presentation? Or an interviewee handling him- or herself well in a tricky question and you found yourself saying, “Wow, I’ll try it that way next time.”
Watching others is one way of how we learn. If I hadn’t seen great presenters, like Simon Sinek, I’d probably still be using PowerPoint with boring bullet-point slides. Whether it’s watching how people handle themselves at work, or observing another parent managing a playground tantrum, comparing their methods to yours opens your mind to new possibilities.
From my personal experience, I look in the mirror each morning knowing that I am falling short of my potential. This may keep me humble, but the vision of people accomplishing great things is changing that image in the mirror for the better. While I’m not fearing or fretting, I am also not content to stay the way I am. I hope that’s the same for you.
How To Make Healthy Social Comparisons
Firstly, be conscious of who you compare yourself with. Don’t choose just one person, instead, choose multiple people that inspire you to become better which match with or surpass your character and judgement. Ask yourself how they would look at certain situations and solve them. This way, you can look at more options and be able to make the best decision possible.
Secondly, watch and listen to the world and understand what is going on around you. We simply write off people that we don’t agree with, whether it be politicians or religions. What a mistake this is! Take time to learn from all sources. Listen to others. You may never agree with them but something in what they are doing is a teachable moment. You learn what you might do, but you also learn what you would never do. Either way, you win because you have learned from it.
Finally, make a habit of reading. Sometimes, I walk through the aisles of book stores, not to buy anything, but to read the titles of the books to get inspiration from them. Also, reading blog posts, book summaries, watching videos, and taking courses are all means that gives us a healthy visual to compare ourselves and inspire us to do more. It’s time to stop making unhealthy comparisons with others and choose the path for yourself.
“Can you remember who you were before the world told you who you should be?” – Danielle LaPorte