If We Only Understood

I rarely dream, but when I do, it is about something in my conscious thoughts. The aspiration I will share with you comes with a great message.

“Pay careful attention to yourselves and to all the flock, in which the Holy Spirit has made you overseers, to care for the church of God, which he obtained with his own blood.”  Acts 20:28

I dreamed, recently, my wife and I was driving through a neighborhood on a brief sight-seeing tour of a town. She stopped the car as we noticed a church called Humbled Ministries. The billboard outside the church flashed a recognizable pastor’s name – it was someone I longed to meet. It piqued my curiosity, even though I detest ministers who advertise religion as if they are running for a political office.

Like so many other famous clergymen, he is so unobtainable when the public reaches out to him. But I thought, wow! I can finally write this off my bucket list. I climbed about six or seven steps and cracked open one of the heavy double doors. For such a large church, it had a small vestibule! Another set of double doors led into a tiny sanctuary. I didn’t understand the complexity of having such scaled-down amenities in an enormous complex.

I stood in the doorway and could literally count the number of parishioner’s heads. It confused me! Why would this church, in the middle of nowhere, and partially filled with poor, working-class people have a prominent named evangelist on their marquee? I stood quietly in the doorway, waiting for his grand entrance to the pulpit. A pastor, instead, was reading scriptures from the Book of Luke.

So, where was this all-powerful minister I was dying to meet? Suddenly a telecaster flashed the famous face in living color. My inner thoughts were best not spoken in church. I found myself in another dead-end altercation, much like meeting the wizard who lived in the land of Oz.

As I woke from the dream, my thoughts gathered a list of renowned clergymen, only seen on TV or the internet who oddly title themselves “men of Christ.” You know who I mean, don’t you? They wear their $600 suits on camera and speak the Lord’s messages. Regular outsiders can never reach them because customer service staff filters the calls and emails. They are much too busy to talk to those who need guidance. Doesn’t this tell you a lot about who they truly are and what is more important to them? Money!

“Everything they do is done for people to see: They make their phylacteries wide and the tassels on their garments long; they love the place of honor at banquets and the most important seats in the synagogues;  they love to be greeted with respect in the marketplaces and to be called ‘Rabbi’ by others. “But you are not to be called ‘Rabbi,’ for you have one Teacher, and you are all brothers.” Matthew 23: 5-8

When Jesus walked upon the earth, His integrity and personal touch WAS His message to the world. He blessed the poor, healed the sick, and scorned the rich who believed in their idolatry of money. He made little of His contacts in religious settings. Jesus asked most of the questions in conversations because it was His way of connecting with people’s thoughts and feelings.

Today, we can turn on the television and see the fancy attire of ministers parading behind a pulpit. They make millions from their shows and books, yet they are unreachable because they are categorized a “personality.” Is this really how Jesus views them? It’s no wonder many Christians walk away from sanctuaries!

If we only understood, it would sadden Jesus, today, by the clergymen who claim themselves a “personality.” Ordained ministers bear the privilege and responsibility of being servants and leaders in the ministry of the Church. The keyword here is servants. Yes, these famous pastors I speak of today are spiritual leaders, but are they servants? Are they sustaining the community of the faithful? No, they do not, unless it’s accompanied by a hefty paycheck. It’s an incredible disgrace to the Church!

I find it strange we lost the very essence of God’s intentions. I can only pray for those who’ve lost their way and are searching for the only gift they cannot find – a good steward to give them advice and peace. The gift from God is the joining of hands in prayer and leading the believer to worship through personal contact. Communication will set the integrity in relationships between the clergy and members in society – not a television screen. Oh, if we only understood… the mockery!

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Who is like me when it comes to marriage?

Who is like me? Who does like me? Very often, when I am angry, I say things to my spouse that later I feel bad that I said them. Do you sometimes do like me?

When I say those unpalatable things, she will be angry and our relationship will collapse.

I believe this resonates with many couples.

The way my spouse and I were talking to each other in the early days of our marriage was bringing us many problems until we attended a Marriage Encounter Week End. There, we learned to talk to each other with love and understanding and not in anger. You can call this talking responsibly in marriage.

Ever since, our relationship has greatly improved. We now choose our words more carefully when we talk to each other. We make a deliberate effort to avoid words that can hurt the other person.

It is not a perfect situation for us anyway. From time to time, we still use words that hurt, but we keep struggling to stay clear of them.

It is very common for couples to misuse their tongues in their relationship and ruin it. And when I talk of misusing our tongue in our marital relationship, I mean:

  1. Speaking without reflecting;
  2. Speaking without weighting our words;
  3. Speaking from anger;
  4. Speaking without caring about the effect of our words on our spouse;
  5. Saying things to hurt our spouse without caring;
  6. Running down our spouse in public.

In our relationship, we need to avoid this. We need to avoid the following types of tongue:

  1. A hateful tongue. A hateful tongue refers to words that spite out hate.
  2. A deceitful tongue. This means words that deceive. Don’t deceive your spouse. Honesty in marriage is the best policy.
  3. A boastful tongue: boastful. Do you boast to your spouse?
  4. A critical tongue. If you have a critical tongue, it means you like like to criticize what your spouse says. Are you fond of criticising what your spouse says?
  5. A ceaseless tongue: If you have a ceaseless tongue then you are among the people who talk without ceasing; talking like a parrot, not allowing your spouse to say even a word.
  6. A double tongue: This is a tongue that is full of duplicity. You say one thing but mean another. Example saying “You are the only one I have” whereas you have girlfriends or boyfriends all over and say the same thing to them.
  7. An explosive tongue. Such a tongue is good at setting fire on the house.
  8. Overbearing tongue. With this tongue, you are domineering, dominating. You talk like the boss.
  9. Authoritative tongue: You talk with authority. You are commanding. You want to be obeyed.
  10. Belittling tongue: You are condescending. You talk down on your spouse as f your spouse did not have any worth. To make your spouse see himself or herself as nobody.

I have heard people say all types of things to their spouse. For instance.

“Who are you?”
“Good for nothing”
“You are a fool”
“You are inconsequential ”

Isn’t it better to say positive things instead? What of this?:

“You are the best.”
“You are all and all to me.”
“I am nothing without you.”
“You are my oxygen”
“My air”
“My sunshine.”

What comes out of our mouths when we talk to our spouse is very important. It can build or destroy your marriage. When you are conversing with your spouse, be mindful of the words that you use. If you are so angry with your spouse that you want to pour out venom on him or her and something is telling you that if you don’t say it, you will burst, know that temptation is knocking on your door, trying to win your soul to hell. Please. don’t say it. If you say it you may regret when it is too late.
Yasar Qadhi has said, “The tongue is a small, soft flesh. Yet, it is capable of breaking the strongest bonds and destroying the most powerful relationships.” It could not have been better said. This goes in line with the words of another writer who says, ” The tongue has no bone but it is strong enough to break a heart.”
It is impossible to count the number of hearts that the tongue has broken in the world. But they must be in their billions. Do not let your tongue be your spouse’s heart breaker.

I agree with the Book of Proverbs when it says: “The tongue is sharper than a sword.”

If you want to become single today, you don’t need a sword to pierce through the heart of your spouse. Your tongue will do it easily for you. But is that how your marriage should end? Mind your tongue. It can make or mar your marriage.

How long online friendship lasts ?

How long online friendship lasts ?

One of the most beautiful qualities of true friendship is to understand and to be understood. Lucius Annaeus Seneca

It’s a 4.5 minute read,if you have patience proceed..

Before we proceed further let us understand ‘friendship’.

“Friendship is a best ship which can lead you on world tour”   unknown

It takes roughly 200 hours to become best friends with someone,    according to science. Can you sustain it afterwards ?

Say 6 months ? 1 yr…..3 yrs…..7 yrs…. Or till one of them decides to knock the Heavens door ?

Don’t you think… friendship is a complicated relationship among people ?

It can last from one day to…. life long !

“Friendship isn’t about whom you have known the longest…it’s about who came, and never left your side” unknown.

It is said that true friendship is possible,having similar wavelengths,and  the two sharing their true feelings, whether a happy or sad situation in an honest way,at the same time maintaining the confidentiality,helpful to each other whenever possible and not interfering unnecessarily into their personal matters.

with the invention of internet and followed by online chat facilities…..both distant & near friendship became ONLINE

What is online friendship ?( Unknown to each other initially )

It is communication between two unknown friends exclusively via internet.With the advent of social media,video chats etc,it became easier, simpler and importantly faster to develop online friendship.

What is great about online friendship ?

1.You can develop confidence in yourself.  2. Get support in times of depression (morally). 3.Emotional bond.  4.Can add value to your life.

Is it necessary for online friends to interact face to face  ?

Depends on the parties concerned. It is said that for friendship to be real,better they have face to face interaction and be honest with each other.

Can one trust online friendship ?

How sure are you that the other side person is true to what he or she,as they describe themselves ?

But remember,It is not all that easy to find right kind of person and probably you should think twiceand must be lucky !

Initially it may be touch and go ,but make sure you listen to your sixth sense.Suspicions apart,I think if both of them are on the same wavelengths,the friendship can boost and lasts longer.

Can online friendship between man and woman possible ?

If the friends happens to be man and woman,it all the more imperative that they know their limits and keep things cool.We also come across many examples of people falling in love and taking the friendship to next level and break up later.Ultimately it is up to them to decide how to maintain the relationship to be long-lasting.

If both parties intend to have fun ( online ),share the moments,having jokes,exchanging the ideas,making recommendations,suggestions, even helping each other’s in difficult situations,(need not be financial),and may or may not be serious in taking the friendship to next level…..it can still be a lot of fun!

What about age factor?

I  am not sure.For teenagers the relationship is obvious. For Middle aged people it can be different meaning.For older people they are in need of affection & some body to talk to.

What if friends happen to be young & aged?

It is up to the individuals concerned to continue or stop depending upon the individual feelings and priorities.I am not able to guess really and internet search giving different opinions.

And the secret of lasting online friendship ?

In order to achieve lasting friendship,I think a continuous communication is important.I feel it should be on a daily basis at regular intervals.

The beauty of online friendship is that you don’t know the other person, personally and your imaginations run wild !( if you are not into video mode the fun is much greater)You are in your own virtual world,enjoying every minute ! The discussion can even be a deep personal conversation !

My take…long-lasting online friendship is possible, provided

1.If the parties develop mutual TRUST and be HONEST (not exploiting).Don’t overdo  chats or get addicted.

2.Be frank and have an open communication.Have a regular chat schedule  ( timing is important,both the parties must allot mutually convenient time) and keep in touch,know each other even better.

3. Be a good listener and appreciate the other party when the person deserves the same.

4.Give importance to the common bond.

5.Don’t be possessive.Tune down your ego to ZERO

6.If possible turn online friend into a real life True friend.

What is your experience with unknown online friends ?

Would you like to add any more suggestions ? please go ahead.

Thank you . Philosophy Through Photography

Pixabay,quotesgram,a-z quotes

Quote (disrespect)

man couple people woman

Photo by Gratisography on Pexels.com

“Disrespect is a major cause of trouble in marriage. Many of the squabbles that spouses have come from disrespect which is mostly shown through communication. We have to be careful how we use our tongue to communicate to our spouse. If we speak rudely or thoughtlessly, trouble will not be easy to avoid. Tempers may flare, leading to violence which could be disastrous.” (Romilia Quotes)

You are my honey

Are you the one
Who is
Saying those nice things
To me?
Show me the one
Who is
Saying those sweet words
To me,
And I will show you
Someone whose heart
Is as sweet as honey;
Only from a sweet heart
Can a spring
Of sweet words flow;
If those words so delicious
Come from you,
You are as sweet as
Your heart.
And your heart is as sweet
As honey;
I have no reason
Not to call you honey.
You are my honey.

Master the English Language

The English language is a formidable weapon that anyone who commands a mastery of it can use to conquer the world.

When I talk of conquering the world, I mean rising to the position of one’s dream; achieving one’s loftiest ambitions.

A good mastery of language can enable one procure a seat in the most impermeable of hearts.

It is a pity, however, that we don’t exert ourselves enough to master this all powerful tool of communication.

At SIWO, we remain committed to our mission of helping our readers especially learners of English to ameliorate their proficiency.

Thus, we give you a new idiom or new word every day. Our idiom for today is:

To get the hang of it.

This idiom means to become familiar with the handling of (a tool) or the working of (a machine); to understand (a situation, scheme, principle, story, etc,).

Example in a sentence:

When I first heard about online shopping, it was hard for me to understand. Now, I have a hang of it. (This means I understand how it works).

Can you make a sentence with the idiom to have a hang of it? Please, make as many sentences as you like so as to have it ingrained in your mind and functional vocabulary.

Do well to leave at least one of your sentences in the comment box.