Self-love – Do something for yourself every day!

Self-love is important!

Hi friends,

How are you all doing? I am doing good.  Today, I want to share an experience and the lesson I learned from it with you all.

A few days back, it was my birthday and so I decided to make some special food for lunch. As it was a working day for my husband, I asked him if he could join me for lunch and he told me that he couldn’t as he was going to be busy in a meeting.

What did I do? I canceled the lunch plan. But then my husband asked me to make the lunch for myself and celebrate my birthday.

So then I made a special lunch and ate all by myself and how did I feel? No points for guessing. I felt very very good because I did something “special”  for me.

What was so special about the whole thing? The fact that I had done something for myself!

In India (I can only say for India), the wives and mothers usually make special meals for the family members. But if they had to make special food only for themselves, they would not take the effort to make something special as they do not feel the need to do something for themselves.

I also used to be like that. I would prefer to make a full lunch if my husband was coming home. Otherwise, I would make something simple, thinking, why should I make an elaborate meal (it’s the routine meal I am talking about here) for me alone.

Men, on the other hand, would make or buy a special meal for themselves whether they have company or not. This is not a bad thing to do.  It is the normal thing to do which most women tend to forget as their world revolves around their family and its priorities and responsibilities.

I think we (women) should make regular meals and at times special meals for ourselves as it is a way to practice self-love.  It will instantly make us feel good. We will start giving importance to our own interests and tastes. Our body and eventually our mind will feel good and we will no longer crave for the love of our family (and others) because now we love, nourish and celebrate our own-selves.

If we don’t give importance to our interests and tastes, how can we expect others to respect them?  If we want others to appreciate our interests, let us begin by appreciating and celebrating them in the first place.

Women were not born like that. As kids, they also used to eat and do things that they loved. But as they grew up, they became sensitive to how their mothers or other ladies behaved, what the society expected of them and eventually they fell into the trap of sacrificing self-interest over others.

It is very important that we teach our young girls to learn to balance their life. They must learn to love and respect their own interests before doing the same for others. They should be taught not to feel guilty of indulging in self-love. Only if they love themselves, will they be able to love others without expecting anything in return and when they don’t expect anything in return, they will be happy with whatever they get and this will keep multiplying their happiness.

Do let me know what you think.



p.s. image taken from Pexels.


Tips to reach your ideal weight.

Hi friends,

In my last two posts  “ my learning experience” and “tips to drink more water”, I talked about the lessons that the illness taught me and how I developed the habit of drinking water. Today, I want to talk about another important topic which was the result of my recovery process i.e. Weight loss.

“Weight loss/weight gain” is a very sensitive topic in today’s world. People are coming up with their ideal weight goals, making meal plans, exercising and adopting a healthy lifestyle to achieve their goals.

Like everybody else, I also set my ideal weight goal and kept planning about how to reach my goal. Meanwhile, I fell sick and during this recovery period, I lost 7 kgs. People known to me said that loosing weight was an obvious part of any illness, as we tend to lose our appetite and we become more careful about our health. But, I never lost my appetite and was hungry at the right times. Then how did I manage to lose those kgs?

So here are few things that I did to recover from the illness which eventually lead to lose of weight.

  1. Drinking lots of water – As you all know by now, I drank lots of water during this time as it was the only cure for the illness. I had a mix of normal water and warm water during this entire period.  Drinking normal water continuously the whole day kept me full and hence reduced my appetite there by reducing my food intake. The warm water helped to burn excess fat and thus helped to reduce those extra kilos.
  2. Quantity of food intake – My quantity of food intake reduced drastically. Initially, I used to eat just one slice of bread or two dosas or one roti. I was asked to reduce the quantity of food intake as my body couldn’t handle more food at a time because of the illness. I never felt hungry with the reduced quantity because I was drinking lots of water and other drinks like tea etc.
  3. No junk food – It was an obvious thing that I had to be very careful about what I was eating and hence stopped junk food completely.
  4. Oil-free, Spice-free food – I was having food, free of oil and spices. So I didn’t have any oily food during this period. Though very little oil was used for cooking but I didn’t have any fried, oily or spicy foods. The food felt bland at times but still it tasted better because I knew I was eating healthy.
  5. Sweets and ice-creams – I didn’t have sweets and ice-creams during this period. Though this was not restricted, I didn’t have much of craving for it and so I didn’t have it.
  6. Home-made food – This was one of the most important reason for my weight loss. I was having home-made food – food made with love and care by my family.  I completely stopped restaurant food and this helped me recover fast as well.
  7. Healthy food – My food consisted of home-made food, lots of salads, fruits, curd etc.. I took all of these in a balance and they helped in recovering and loosing weight.
  8. Proper sleep – It is said that when we sleep, our body repairs itself. So I was asked to take lot of rest during this period. I was active during the day but as and when I felt sleepy, I slept, without feeling guilty, and this made me feel healthy every time I woke up. Having a healthy lifestyle is another important aspect of maintaining proper body weight. We should follow a proper routine in our life and this will help our body to undertake their activities at the right time.
  9. Consistency – Drinking water, having home-made food, proper sleep etc. will show results only if done consistently. I didn’t have a choice and was forced to be consistent and this resulted in my recovery and weight loss. So consistency is the key here (like everywhere else).
  10. Being grateful – During this whole period, I was grateful to God for all that I had. I felt good about my body. I felt good about my weight. I felt good about being with my loved ones, and I felt grateful for the food and water that went inside my body and healed me.
  11. Don’t keep checking your weight – Just believe in your goal and take steps towards achieving it on a consistent basis. Take the steps for your overall health and be happy about it. If you keep checking your weight, it shows that you are not trusting God, your goal and your actions to achieve the goal. Just give it some time and effort and you will see amazing results.
  12. Little bit of sacrifice is important – We all know that if we want to achieve something, a little bit of effort and sacrifice is needed. I learnt this again during my journey towards recovery.  While focusing on your goal of ideal weight, don’t worry about all that you cannot have or do; instead think about all the new and healthy things you can make and have and most importantly, the goal you can achieve.

Many of you may say that I lost those 7 kgs because of the illness. Yes definitely! I did lose some weight because of the illness. But then came a point in my recovery when my reports were normal and I was still loosing weight. That was when I realized that it was not just because of the illness but also because of all the care I took during the process of recovery that I lost weight.

During the period of illness I couldn’t exercise because I was quite weak. When my reports came normal, my doctor advised me to start my walks.  So now I know that if I combine all the above factors with regular exercise, I will definitely reach my ideal weight.

I know it is not possible to completely follow all the above steps, because of the temptations around us, but if we reduce having junk and oily food or ice-creams; if we start exercising; if we have a proper routine, if we are consistent and on top of it all if we are grateful for what we already have, we will definitely reach our ideal weight.

Start out by being grateful for your present weight, have your ideal weight noted somewhere, take one small step at a time and do it consistently. The results will surprise and motivate you to take bigger and confident steps towards your ideal weight.

Stay healthy and be grateful!!!


P.s. This post was originally posted on my blog –

Photo by i yunmai on Unsplash

Are you fully ok with your path as is?

My Path

My Path

I dabbled and dabbled to Stand

Then started of

Crawling and Crawling

Before Walking and Walking

trying finding and finding

my own path

and not the path

traced for me by anyone but God

and when I started seeing and seeing

not with my eyes but with my soul

I saw a path different from theirs

whose vision near blurred my sight

what a head and heartache to have

trying to stay focused

and not ruin any chances

explaining without expecting

why a rugged not a tarred path

because that’s just the way of life

I am forever grateful and graceful

for all the awesome angels

I have met on my path

p.s: As we strive on to thrive in this march-past through life, we chart ourselves a path or follow that charted for us by others. Sometimes it’s a mix, sometimes we get overwhelmed and it’s like there is so much light or so maybe so little we can hardly see clearly. May we be inspired to keep marching, giving ourselves permission, until we are ok with the path we come to embrace as ours; and refusing to be held hostage by painful past or fearful future.

Still I Smile: Are you keeping your smile like myself?


Still I Smile


You can mock me all you want

Murmur my plans will fail

Foresee my projects are doomed

Whisper am a loser

but still I smile


You can pretend I am your friend

Talk behind my back all you can

Make excuses for avoiding my calls

Rejoice over my mistakes

for your hypocrisy still I smile


You can sit there and gossip

Spend your time visiting

Talking about who said and did what

while you grumble nothing is working

to that misery I smile


Don’t think you are the loser?

Are you serious you still can?

Do you think anybody really cares?

Why not say you can’t instead of the silence?

That’s why still I smile


I just get it – it’s not about me

You are whallowing in your own misery

self pity, doubt & loathing masqueraded

you point a finger and three point to you

Isn’t that worth smiling at?


You now can tell my smile

I smile at me, for me and with me

and it keeps me oh so young

ever fresh and genuine

no need for make up

I’ll keep my smile


Your friendship ain’t worth my mind

I’ll have my smile with each meal

and for each mistake I make

I’ll keep the take

And for that …

still I smile

(C) Marie Abanga

Keep smiling

p.s: Sometimes we take such hits in life for different reasons, and they rock our boat and knock us really off feet. I have been most shaken, but the blizzards caused by people especially some I though had my back. I don’t know about you, but I have come to stop given them that permission to make or leave me any ruffled. The inspiration to write it away in poetry has and is a definite life saver for which I am most grateful. And this is why, no matter how bad it get, I take my membership with the happy league seriously, and Still I Smile…are you looking at it this way too?

Who are you waiting for to give you permission?

I Give Myself Permission

permission slip

Ain’t waiting no more for no one

Life is short & sweet & sour

How would I even know if I don’t live

the now is here and no point worrying

the future is a streak and yet mayn’t be

Hence I give myself permission…

to be me

Wouldn’t wait to know it all

Even science can’t keep it up

We all are an individual value

Should I let any one make & keep me sour

Joy & happiness is just a short distance

no chaos & creeks should blur my vision

Hence I give myself permission…

I give myself permission

All I got are my voice & word

Not taking it personal means to keep it out

All mental space I have is taken

With thoughts of a rosy here & now

I wouldn’t assume: I’ll just do my best

still it’s okay every now & then to falter

Hence I give myself permission…

Give yourself permission

P.S: I am eternally grateful for serenity and I see that in all the poems I write these days regardless of the circumstances. This poem oh my is in one of those my special categories, indeed YOU ARE BEST WHEN YOU ARE: YOU

Small Minds Vs Great Minds

S/N Small Mind Great Mind
1. Holds onto the benefits of now


Holds onto the benefits of later


2. Discusses people


Discusses ideas


3. Looks unto men for help


Looks unto God for help


4. Believes in himself only


Believes in God and in himself


5. Thinks he has known enough


Thinks he has not known enough


6. Thinks he knows all


Lean from others


7. Keeps teaching


Keeps learning


8. Prefers talking to listening


Prefers listening to talking


9. Loves to be served only


Loves to serve


10. Do not obey and respect the men over them.


Obey and respect the men over them.



Great minds know who to shut the door against and who to open the door to


S/N Who to shut the door against Who to open your door to
1. He that makes you feel you can’t


He that makes you feel you can
2. He that makes you feel inferior


He that makes you equal better
3. Whoever points you to your worst moment in life



He that reminds you of your best moment
4. He that makes you feel he is great.


He that makes you feel you are great


5. Anybody that tells you it has never worked and it can’t work



He that tells you it can work through
6. He that despises or disrespects your presence.



He that respects your presence

Image Credit

I’m Setting Myself Up for Failure

I'm setting myself up for failure
To venture into the unknown is like jumping into a precipice. As human beings, we are hardwired to stay within the pack and be safe. Yet creative minds have the tendency to roam into uncharted territories. It’s their way of letting out the Beast within that seeks expression.
Each of us, at some point, give in to the wishes of this Beast. Whether prepared or not, we start the pursuit to please this longing. For there is no right time to follow the call, we just have to say yes when the bell rings. This is where I am at this very moment: on the takeoff for my first ever book. (Yehey!)
But outcome must be faced realistically. While the way to a successful endeavor is to embrace positivity that everything will turn out as expected, there is no denying the fact that failure is the other side of the coin. We may work our butts off till dawn, but destiny is not in our control. We may have faith, yes; we may pray hard, yes; we may have all the resources, yes, but our fate lies in a Power beyond our human understanding. He alone knows when to give us the limelight, and when to hold it.
Dealing with the possibility of failure is one motivator of success. It is the fear of what could go wrong that pushes us to do the things right and do whatever it takes to achieve success. And when failure is what we find at the end of the road, we have to embrace it in all its ugliness, for another adventure awaits us: to start all over again and apply the lessons that failure brings.
For now, as an amateur, as I am, I’m doing everything I can to bring about the outcome that I hoped to be.
Wish me luck!
For more of my posts, click here.

How Can You Use Your Powers Like The Candle? — Michael J. Fite

“No matter how small we are or what color we might be; Like a small candle, we all can produce the same light. Spread light with your thoughts, words, and actions. It is a dark world…and you are here to create light.” -Rishika Jain

For today’s inspiration, I want to share with you how can you use your powers like the candle.

You may not think that you and the candle have a lot in common, but the reality is that you have a lot more in common than what you think. Just like the candle, you have the ability to promote thoughts, words, and actions simply by your presence. What you choose to do with your presence will determine if you truly will make a difference in your life and the world.

Remember that it is up to you recognize the power that you have and use it to light the world with what it needs to become a better place.

Click on my link below to view more about today’s inspiration.

How Can You Use Your Powers Like The Candle? — Michael J. Fite

Also feel free to become a fan of the motivation and inspiration:

Success Inspirers’ World – Find friends, followers, inspiration, motivation, and encouragement and grow in blogging and life.

Michael J. Fite – Bringing the motivation and encouragement one post at a time!

Michael Fite – The Huffington Post  – Inform • Inspire • Entertain • Empower

-Michael J. Fite

How Can You Have An Argument With Someone Else And Make It A Win-Win Scenario? — Michael J. Fite

“An argument is a psychological battle that you can win easily if you make smart moves.” -Unknown

For today’s inspiration, I want to share with you how can you have an argument with someone else and make it a win-win scenario.

Arguments are never easy to deal with due to the potential for negativity to come from them. An argument does not always have to be about one side winning because it does not accomplish anything in terms of unity. When you are able to find ways to create a win-win scenario, it proves each side a chance to speak and be heard.

Remember that an argument can result in a win for everyone when we all come together with the mindset to find peace, common ground, and unity on a given topic.

Click on my link below to view more about today’s inspiration.

How Can You Have An Argument With Someone Else And Make It A Win-Win Scenario? — Michael J. Fite

Also feel free to become a fan of the motivation and inspiration:

Success Inspirers’ World – Find friends, followers, inspiration, motivation, and encouragement and grow in blogging and life.

Michael J. Fite – Bringing the motivation and encouragement one post at a time!

Michael Fite – The Huffington Post  – Inform • Inspire • Entertain • Empower

-Michael J. Fite


What Steps Can You Take In Order To Make The Most Out Of Your Breakthrough? — Michael J. Fite

“There’s about to be a shift in your life. Get ready for your blessings. You’ve been through enough & a breakthrough is on the way. Don’t doubt it, just claim it!” -Unknown

For today’s inspiration, I want to share with you what steps you can take in order to make the most out of your breakthrough.

The reality is that you are going to have a breakthrough regardless of whether or not you want it. When you have your breakthrough, are you making the most out of it, or are you wasting it? Whatever you choose to do with you breakthrough will determine how you will be impacted by it.

Remember that breakthroughs come and go like shooting stars for if you do not take advantage of them when they come your way, you will miss your chance to benefit from it.

What Steps Can You Take In Order To Make The Most Out Of Your Breakthrough? — Michael J. Fite

Also feel free to become a fan of the motivation and inspiration:

Success Inspirers’ World – Find friends, followers, inspiration, motivation, and encouragement and grow in blogging and life.

Michael J. Fite – Bringing the motivation and encouragement one post at a time!

Michael Fite – The Huffington Post  – Inform • Inspire • Entertain • Empower

-Michael J. Fite