Understanding your spouse in marriage

Understanding your spouse
Is primordial in marriage;
But it takes time to do so;
It does not come overnight;
Give yourself
Enough time to know
Your spouse;
It may take many years;
You may argue and quarrel
And fight;
Which is not encouraged;
But you must not give up
On each other;
Let it be clear:
The more you understand
Each other,
The better you relate;
A good understanding
Of your spouse
Makes for a good marriage;
And actually, wisdom demands
That you understand each other
Before you become a couple;
But it should not end there;
The endeavour to know
Each other,
And understand each other
Must be a marriage-long exercise.
When you understand each other
At the start,before marriage,
You build your marriage
On a solid foundation.
And an edifice
Built on a solid foundation
Has a rock to stand on;
Exactly what it takes to last.


Love truly conquers

You heard it said;
Love conquers;
I agree;
Love truly conquers;
Love opens all doors;
Love is the master key;
Where there is love,
Anger disappears;
When your love tank
Is full,
Joy fills your heart;
Where there is love,
Hate disappears;
And when hate goes,
Conflict and war go.
Let us plant love,
And more love
In the garden of our
To grow and bear
Abundant fruit.
That will be peace,
unity, harmony and joy.

Book with "Today I am grateful."

See If You Can Catch Yourself Complaining

Book with "Today I am grateful."

We all love to complain. It won’t take an extensive observation to reason that it’s something we love to do as human beings. We tend to feel better once we have a good moan. Getting things off our chests seems to relieve a burden or two. A problem shared is a problem halved, right?

I have caught myself complaining a lot lately about a project that I’m doing. At the same time, research shows that most people complain once a minute during a typical conversation. It is tempting to complain because at that moment it feels good. However, like many other things that are enjoyable, such as smoking or consuming too much alcohol, complaining isn’t good for you.


How Your Brain Works

Writer Steven Parton describes in his post on Medium: “Throughout your brain, there is a collection of synapses separated by empty space called the synaptic cleft. Whenever you have a thought, one synapse shoots a chemical across the cleft to another synapse, thus building a bridge over which an electric signal can cross, carrying along its charge the relevant information you’re thinking about.”

He continues: “Every time this electrical charge is triggered, the synapses grow closer together in order to decrease the distance the electrical charge has to cross… The brain is rewiring its own circuitry, physically changing itself, to make it easier and more likely that the proper synapses will share the chemical link and thus spark together – in essence, making it easier for the thought to trigger.”


From Temporary To A Fixed Habit

If you think about what Parton described, your brain loves efficiency – it doesn’t like to work any harder than it has to. When you repeat a behaviour, your synapses reach out to each other to shorten the flow of information. This makes it easier to repeat that behaviour in the future. And can you really blame your brain for making such connections?

Here’s a practical example: Who would want to build a temporary bridge every single time you need to cross a river? That would be a waste of time and effort. It makes a lot more sense to build a permanent bridge.

That’s exactly what your brain is doing: Your neurons grow closer to each other and the connections between them become more fixed.

As time passes, you find it’s easier to be negative than to be positive, regardless of what goods happening around you. Then complaining becomes your default behaviour, which changes how people perceive you.


We As Humans

Since human beings are inherently social, our brains naturally and unconsciously mimic the moods of those around us, particularly people we spend a great deal of time with and it’s the basis for our ability to feel empathy.

The flip side, however, is that you don’t have to complain yourself to suffer its ill effects. You have to be careful about spending time with people who complain about everything. Complainers want people to join their pity party so that they can feel better about themselves. If you find yourself in this situation, it’s better to distance yourself.

Besides that, here are two things you can do when you feel the need to complain:

1. Engage In Solution-Focused Complaining

The first thing you can do is to engage in complaining that is solution-focused. This is applicable when you have something that is truly worth complaining about – see it as complaining with a purpose. Solution-oriented complaining should do the following:

  1. Make your purpose clear. Before complaining, identify what outcome you’re looking for. If you can’t identify a purpose, there’s a good chance you just want to complain for the sake of complaining, and that’s the kind you want to avoid at all costs.
  2. Start off positively. Starting positively helps to keep the other person from getting defensive. For example, before rushing into a complaint about poor customer service, you could say something like, “I have always been thoughtfully assisted with your service, but…”
  3. Specify the situation. When you’re complaining, don’t search up every minor annoyance from the past years. Just address the current situation and be as specific as possible. Instead of saying, “You have treated me poorly,” describe specifically what that person did wrong.
  4. End positively. If you end your complaint with, “I’m never shopping here again,” the person who’s listening is not motivated to act on your complaint. In that case, you’re just complaining with no purpose other than to complain. Instead, restate your purpose, as well as your hope that the desired result can be achieved, for example, “I would like to solve this so that we can remain doing businesses.”


2. Practice Gratitude

The second thing is the practice of gratitude. When you feel like complaining, shift your attention to something that you’re grateful for. Taking time to consider what you’re grateful for reduces the stress hormone by 23%.

Whenever you experience negative thoughts, use this as a signal to shift gears towards thinking about something positive. In time, a positive attitude will become a way of life.

Originally published at ye-chen.com.


  • When was the last time you caught yourself complaining?
  • What is your failproof way to stop complaining?
  • How do you deal with people complaining to you?


Have your say in the comment section 🙂

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Looking Young And Ageing

Looking Young.jpg

I am in the fortunate position of looking considerably younger than I am.  It is lovely, and I do what I can to keep it this way; face yoga, meditation, seeds in my porridge.  Daily smoothies packed with ground seeds and powders.  I also take about 14 different supplements every day.

Stepping into the business world as a young-looking person, however, is a different story.  People struggle to support a young person, emotionally.  It is a primal urge.  I hold no judgement.  Ageing is hard – hence the aforementioned daily routine.

I think compassion is the only way through it, for the young and old.  We all have our struggles.  Remember young people do not have the experience to understand their emotions yet.  Growing up is a rough time.  Likewise society persecutes us for ageing, despite all the experience and understanding and philosophising we offer.

Have compassion, support.  Be the best you.


By www.upwardjourneys.com

Message “The wide consciousness of true understanding unites the world..” & painting by Michel Montecrossa

“The wide consciousness of true understanding unites the world.
Let us always be liberated in the vastness of the Lord.“

– Michel Montecrossa on 17th February 2017

Michel Montecrossa Homepage: www.MichelMontecrossa.com

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Let’s reconcile

Let’s reconcile!
Let’s come together and reconcile;
Are we not brothers and sisters?
We differ;
But it’s normal;
And we shouldn’t tear ourselves apart
Quarreling or fighting;
That won’t help us;
The world is looking up to us
To separate their quarrel;
And their fight;
How can we ourselves
Be quarreling so bitterly in public
And fighting so fiercely
With one another?
Who will bring us peace?
Let’s be mature
And stop quarreling and fighting
And reconcile.
What has happened has happened;
No one laughs all the times;
And no one cries all the times;
Sometimes we laugh
And sometimes we cry;
Let’s sink our differences and reconcile;
No provocation;
No bitterness;
Let’s live and work together
In understanding;
And tolerance;
And harmony;
And peace.
Please, let’s reconcile!

Song ‘Best Choice’ by Mirakali (audio & lyrics)

Song ‘Best Choice’ by Mirakali

Find here on this website much more music and art by Mirakali: https://yoursuccessinspirer.com/tag/Mirakali/

Best Choice

Consciousness changing, growing, expanding,
speeding forward like your world of sensations.

Old experiences fade away.
Like a drop flowing
into overwhelming wideness
and feelings in you.

Visible and invisible worlds surrounding you
like a mighty ocean,
embracing you like a mother embraces her child.

You move in waves of light.
The new world grows inside you.
Your fire is warm, your mind is bright,

your love is strong and your thirst for freedom infinite.
Infinity is freedom itself.
Eternal the love of soul,
eternal the love
of bliss of body and body moving in the wideness.

Everything is intense, strong, deep and tender.
Understanding and satisfaction:
this is the beginning of a new love.

The love of the Divine, all living beings,
the planet, all that is known and unknown.
Joy surges in you and you want to embrace the whole world
and want to give your love to all.

It‘s the best choice to turn to the light.
It‘s the best choice to be in love.

Lyrics & Music: Mirakali administered by Michel Montecrossa, © Mira Sound Germany

Find great songs and videos by Mirakali on the Michel Montecrossa Blog:


Music, videos, photos and art by Mirakali: http://www.Mirakali.net

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A visit to your country

Are you proud of your country?
If I came visiting your country,
Tell me some of the places
You would proudly recommend I visit?

Are you proud of your city?
If I came visiting your city,
Tell me some of the hotels
You would recommend I live in.

Are you proud of your people?
If I came visiting your country,
Tell me some of the people or communities
You would recommend I visit and talk to
About my own country?

Thanks for giving me this vital information
The world is a global village; one family.
I should feel at home if I come visiting
In your country as you should in mine.

A love world

Imagine that we were supporting
One another
Instead of fighting one another
As it is the case with may people today!
What a wonderful world that would be!
That is the world of my dreams;
That is the world of my friends’ dreams;
That is the world of the dreams
Of people who think like you and I;
And that is the world we must
Work for;
And why not fight for?
Who is ready to fight for such a world?
All it takes is to be spreading
Good thoughts;
Good words;
Good ideas;
In short, love.
Let’s fight to make our world a love world.